Partners Dogs!(49 Posts)
Just moved in with my partner and his 6 large dogs ! AIBU !? I feel I am at times and other times I could scream!
I lived in his house for the last 6 months with him and his 6 dogs and just about tolerated the way it was, they aren't trained to ask to go out - so they wee etc as they please over night, and they ruin the furniture and completely take over the whole house . I feel there is too many as they constantly bark at each other for alpha dog etc.
But now we have bought a house together and I am already after just a week at the end of my tether with them, nothing can be left out - shoes , food , paperwork, nothing ! or they destroy it, the sofa is destroyed and ripped apart if left alone with it.
I love my partner and this was a new and moving on step for us, but I dread being in the home with them , I just want to get up and out everyday.
Just to add I do actually really like dogs, had my own in the past , this just feels so many and so much !
I would not be partners with someone who let dogs piss all over the house regardless though.
It sounds disgusting and no way to live, but why did you buy a house with him? Did you think that the dogs would magically become trained? Your partner sounds like a lazy neglectful pet owner too.
so you've agreed with your dp to buy a house and live in it together with his 6 untrained destructive dogs.
yabu to complain now as you must have known it was coming, yabu if you now nag him to train the dogs, or, ask him to give up his dogs, that discussion should have happened way before committing to buy together.
6 dogs is definately too many for inside especially if they are a medium to large breed
Time to put some kennels up in the garden and put your foot down i think
This must have been the stupidest thing I've read in a long time.
Six full months didn't give you any clue whatsoever?
I know a lot of people with multiple dogs (one has 8 in a big standard 3 bed semi). The problem isn't the number, it's the lack of training.
Train them, train your DP, exercise the dogs A LOT, mentally stimulate them (kongs are good)
DON'T put them outside and DON'T pass the problem to someone else by rehoming them
It's not the dogs fault, it's yours and your DPs. Take responsibility and get them trained. They sound like they are crying out for it.
Sorry OP but you have spent 6 months living like this BEFORE you have bought a house together and your complaining now!
I have little sympathy for you but plenty for the dogs.
You went into this knowing full well what to expect so tough. What did you want to happen with the dogs?
YABU. This isn't the dogs fault and buying a house together won't make it go away. You should have thought about this earlier!
Your problem is obviously your partner, who keeps dogs without training them?!?
What a fucking idiot.
And really, they are now your responsibility since you live with them - so get them trained.
No excuses now you've been daft enough to buy a house with your utterly useless boyfriend.
Too late to moan, you knew what the dogs were like but still bought a house with your partner.
I can't believe you thought a new house would miraculously cure all tehThe problems?
that six dogs would simultaneously have a light bulb moment and think "new house let's not ruin it"
he is forcing those dogs to life a cruel cruel life. dogs do not like being untrained and soiling their living areas. This is a highly stressful situation for them. tbh you had plenty of warning and made the decision knowing what it's like. my sympathy lies with the real victims. The poor dogs
As others have said, YABU to now complain about something you had a lot of evidence would happen. Surely after living with him/the dogs for 6 months you knew what to expect? By buying a house with him you have made yourself equally responsible for the house and the animals living in it.
This sounds like a horrid situation for the dogs. Due to a variety of reasons, I am currently living in a house with 5 dogs of varying ages and sizes. They all wee outside (the eldest has some bowel control issues, but we manage that as best we can) and only the puppy has had some destructive tendencies, but we have trained him out of the worst of it. The number of dogs is not the problem (I'm not going to start on the 'barking for alpha dog' comment, but I do hope that's not how your partner thinks of his dogs). They just need training.
I'm afraid YABU. You knew what the dogs were like before you bought the house together. Did you expect that 6 dogs would magically become good house dogs just because they were now living in 'your' (joint) home?
Was there a discussion beforehand with your DP as far as what you expected from him and/or the dogs? Did he make promises about their behaviour that he hasn't kept? If not, then sorry, as much as it sounds horrible, you walked into it with eyes open. If he did, then you can try to hold him to them. Note I said 'try'. Anyone that would allow their own (prior) home/belongings to be destroyed by their dogs is going to be too lazy to do anything about it now. Even if you take it in hand to train the dogs, it's unlikely he'll be arsed to help train or take or let them out.
I think 6 dogs is too many for a typical urban/suburban home, even if they are small breeds. We have a 16 lb Dachsie and our 3 acres is barely enough for him .
I think it's a damn shame. He's ruined those poor dogs! Even if DP were to agree to rehome some of them, who on earth is going to take an unhousebroken, destructive dog?
Can you start by declaring at least one room 'off limits' to the dogs? The bedroom or a spare bedroom perhaps? Then at least you can store all your clothing and papers in that room. Other than that, unless your DP totally commits to rigourous, professional training (and I think a professional will be needed for such a large 'pack' to be successful), I would be seriously thinking about either offering to buy him out and having him move elsewhere with the dogs or selling my interest to him.
Wow. I won't even comment on the whole AIBU question but I will talk about the dogs.
The dogs are being destructive because they are BORED. They are big dogs, they need big walks. If you're partners not going to train them to piss outside, then you are going to need to. You can teach an old dog new tricks so might be bed to get a professional in for this one.
I'm concerned about your comment about the constant barking for the alpha dog. NONE OF THESE DOGS ARE THE ALPHA DOG. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE THE ALOHA DOG. You need to sort this dominance issue out ASAP because they ending up miming you, or worse.
This beggars belief. So, you've been living with your partner and 6 bored, untrained dogs for 6 months. They piss all over the furniture and destroy things because of this. And you bought a house with him. Without first making attempts to train and occupy the dogs. I feel very sorry for the dogs but frankly, feel both you and your partner deserve all the destruction and piss they can dish out. The pair of you need to buck your ideas up and exercise and train the dogs. 'His' dogs or not, you live with them too and should rank above them so in the past 6 months, you're just as much to blame.
That sounds like a seriously hard situation.
Obviously you find the living arrangements intolerable (anyone sane would) but you did know about and 'accept' the dogs when you bought a home together. I think you need to sit dp down, tell him you are a breaking point and work out a solution.
Either he tries to rehome several of them or you build an outbuilding/convert a garage ad have them as mostly 'outside' dogs who sometimes come in the house but only under strict supervision.
Good luck sorting this out!
Wow. You knew what they were like and then bought a house with this guy? You made your bed. YABU. Why do people do such stupid things?
I think posters are being a bit harsh to OP. Yes, she has made a massive mistake but there is no point condemning her to a future full of dog piss and fucked up sofas. The key thing here is OP and her partner calmly sitting down and working out a sensible, acceptable way forward. Surely her dp can't like living like this either?
Those poor dogs, I feel very sad for them. They're bored stiff, under-exercised and suffering psychologically from lack of space and interesting activity. You two humans can choose what you do, but the dogs are at your mercy in there. Be careful they don't turn vicious and attack you. Bored stressed-out dogs can get nasty.
You must be bonkers (or madly in love) if you thought this would work. Unless there's a huge farm with vast acres of land, six big dogs are going to be impossible to keep. It's very cruel.
I love all animals, but only if they're happy and well looked after.
. The key thing here is OP and her partner calmly sitting down and working out a sensible, acceptable way forward. Surely her dp can't like living like this either?
seriously no.ones that stupid and that thick to not have realised this? It's not lack of time or knowledge it's hosts typo dirt and laziness. If he hasn't got off his backside to do it before he got with the op and six months together didn't spur her on to solve the problem.either. I don't see what a cosy chat will do.
excuse typos I have a sore thump
There has been a big fuck up yes (firstly by the dp and now OP is equally embroiled in blame). They need to agree a way forward though, for the sake of the dogs as much as for themselves. Something has to give.
Who the jiggery has 6 dogs? Do people really do that?
not particularly helpful
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