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AIBU?

Cheer up, it will never happen. . .

26 replies

WellnowImFucked · 27/11/2014 21:22

The next person who says this to me is going to get the full blast of my currently 'delightful' personality.

I mean seriously, how the fuck do you know what going on in my life, maybe the worst thing is actually happening.

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Icimoi · 27/11/2014 21:26

Have a look at Susan Hill's book "Family". IIRC, a hospital employee (possibly a receptionist or porter, I read it a long time ago) said that to her, just after her baby daughter had died. I always think that if ever there was a salutary illustration of why it's an utterly stupid thing to say, that's it.

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Thebodynowchillingsothere · 27/11/2014 21:28

Totally agree it's a very stupid expression.

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RoseCavallari · 27/11/2014 21:31

Worst expression ever. Its generally older men that say it to younger women.

I have called someone out on it before and he just looked confused as to why I was annoyed.

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Thebodynowchillingsothere · 27/11/2014 21:36

Hope you are ok op?

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missorinoco · 27/11/2014 21:41

I was told this as I walked down the road in tears, having a very hard time when my father was dying. I so wish I had told them exactly what was happening.

Cultivate a withering look to deliver, for you and for all of us who are wishing them the same look.

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Electriclaundryland · 27/11/2014 21:45

When you get older it stops. As a middle aged mum I'm invisible. Its just stupid sexist shit usually aimed at young women.

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BuzzardBird · 27/11/2014 21:45

I got it when I was shopping for a dress to wear for my Dad's funeral. I let him know the truth, I thought it might make him think twice before he said it again.

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WellnowImFucked · 27/11/2014 21:52

Ahh, Thebody, thanks for asking, I'm fine, well no I'm in a roaring mood.

No big reason just a serious of minor events that makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
And then in Boots as I'm just cruisin' the corn plasters, worrying about my 76 year old widowed Ma, and OH's Mum, who while not my biggest fan, nor I hers, is in ill health.
And OHs latests blood tests aren't the best, and then this prize fuckwit, deliberately rubs against me 'just passing by, aren't these aisles narrow?'

I give a icy glance, and then he come out with, it was actually Cheer up Love it might never happen, I'm ashamed to say I bit and hissed FUCK OFF.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed at responding or at swearing, but really I should have had a better/ more original response. . . .

OP posts:
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twinkletoedelephant · 27/11/2014 21:54

A random man last said that to me in Tesco my mum had just died ..... I told him he apologised and gave me a massive hug ( it was exactly what I needed - he didn't even try to remove me when I started sobbing on his shirt) nice chap never seen him before or since .

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soverylucky · 27/11/2014 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Electriclaundryland · 27/11/2014 21:57

Fuck off is a perfectly reasonable response Wellnow.

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RedButtonhole · 27/11/2014 22:00

It's a thoughtless thing to say to anyone- I get this alot because I'm sour faced but thankfully it has never happened at a time when I've actually been upset. Nobody who says it knows what kind of day the person is having or what they have going on privately and it's bloody stupid to call someone up on looking a bit glum when they could be really upset.

On a less serious note, do they exoect everyone to walk around grinning inanely at each other/themselves? Twats.

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time OP Thanks

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BaffledSomeMore · 27/11/2014 22:00

I very recently let rip at some twat at work who hardly knows me and thought that was a good opening gambit.
I was in the middle of a complicated bit of work, holding things together on the anniversary of a very difficult day. I suspect he may think twice before saying it again.

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honeybunny14 · 27/11/2014 22:00

I get this all the time and I'm a very happy person. But it does annoy me.

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foslady · 27/11/2014 22:51

Totally agree - one of the worst things to say said to me as I was on the way to a close person's funeral

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Thebodynowchillingsothere · 27/11/2014 22:54

WellNow Flowers sometimes all the shit comes at once.

Vent away

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SarahAnnie1984 · 27/11/2014 23:10

Someone said this to me the other day as I was having chemotherapy...

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however · 27/11/2014 23:12

As a younger person Id have probably disagreed with Electrickaundry.

As a woman in my mid 49s I agree with her. Especially the 'fuck off' bit ??

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DoJo · 27/11/2014 23:21

It's just so intrusive to presume to dictate to someone else how they should feel, it infuriates me! I have a bitchy resting face, so hear it a lot and it makes me seethe, no matter what kind of mood I had previously been in. I call people on it now, sometimes with a jokey 'lucky for you I haven't just had bad news, otherwise you would feel a prize twat for saying that' and sometimes with a 'why the fuck would seeing you cheer me up?' depending on who it is, how I feel and how leery it is.

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Dancingincircles · 27/11/2014 23:22

I think it's a generation thing so older people ( or those around people who,say it often) are just used to saying it as a way of communicating. It is a bit annoying but there is never any malice intended.
When I was much younger people used to say it to me all the time when I lived around London. I just kind of got used to it although it did grate on me esp when I was feeling quite happy and they would then kill my mood. Where I live now not so much, if ever actually.

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Musicaltheatremum · 27/11/2014 23:26

Some one said this to me, was moaning about his wife who he had just divorced. It happened to be my silver wedding anniversary but my husband had died 100 days earlier. He was most apologetic but the damage had been done.

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vrtra · 28/11/2014 02:39

I told a man to fuck off last weekend for doing this

Felt so gooooood.

It would be snidey coming from a close friend or family member so how in the name of cock is it ok to say it to a stranger? (To shame her cause it's always a man saying it to a woman)

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Charitybelle · 28/11/2014 02:52

This is everyday sexism pure and simple. How do I know?
My husband and my dad have never been asked this question...NEVER. And none of the men I know have either, and they never will. It's something that men say to women, for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because women are meant to be smiley, happy, decorative objects, and not individuals with complex lives and emotions. See a miserable woman in a shop? Tell that bitch to cheer up, because hey it can't be that bad, she's ruining your day with her mardy face and stopping you from viewing her as a sex object (another reason it's seen as generational, because it's rarely said to older women who are likely to tell you to fuck off and have little interest in shagging you).
Bullshit of the highest order if you ask me.

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YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 28/11/2014 04:30

I had 'cheer up, it might never happen' thrown at me on a particularly dark and desparate day and my immediate and unguarded response was to stop and glare at the man who said it and shout back loudly and clearly, and with absolute certainty 'it already has!' to which he looked suitably abashed and said sorry.

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NCbutIstillmightbeouted · 28/11/2014 04:35

The last person who said it to me was greeted with my response, of "well you are right I have just miscarried but I am still alive" My partner ushered me away before the 60 odd year old woman got the worse of my temper

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