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Should I be annoyed with DH on my birthday?

(35 Posts)
Rollergirl1 Thu 27-Nov-14 18:21:06

It's my birthday today. Haven't really done anything as I have been working this morning and so has DH. DH has tomorrow off and he is taking me for lunch.

The plan for tonight was that DH was going to get home a little earlier, help with the kids, and then cook something nice for dinner. I've just had a text from him saying that he is meeting his friend for a quick drink. DH works in London and we are an hour away so he won't be home till around 8ish i'd imagine. Friend is visiting from Oz and is going back on Sunday. DH picked friend up from the airport on Sunday when he flew in and he came back to our house for a bit. DH also met him for a quick drink last night but he had to cut that short as DH only bought my birthday cards from the kids yesterday and needed to get back before they went to bed so they could write in them for today.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off with DH? I understand that he wants to see his friend before he flies back but if he'd been more organised then he could have stayed out last night as was intended.

LouMum14 Thu 27-Nov-14 18:22:36

Bang out of order!

Llareggub Thu 27-Nov-14 18:22:51

I wouldn't be annoyed, no.

CleanLinesSharpEdges Thu 27-Nov-14 18:24:15

He's taking you out tomorrow. I wouldn't be annoyed, no.

Fairenuff Thu 27-Nov-14 18:25:46

Ask him to pick up a takeaway and a bottle of wine on the way home. Put the kids to bed, have a bath or something that you'd like to do, then enjoy your food when he gets back. Don't let this spoil your evening and have a lovely day tomorrow.

Happyringo Thu 27-Nov-14 18:26:11

As he had already said he would be home early to help with the kids and do dinner, yes I'd be pretty annoyed that he has now gone back on it

calmexterior Thu 27-Nov-14 18:28:09

I'd be annoyed, but probably unreasonably so as he's not going to be that late and it's a friend from the other side of the planet...

May as well avoid angst and enjoy your birthday

shushpenfold Thu 27-Nov-14 18:28:15

I'd be narked by this. I agree with Fairenuff and would text him with instructions for take away and wine 'as it's my birthday!!'

Theorientcalf Thu 27-Nov-14 18:28:29

Yes I'd be annoyed. It's your birthday and he promised to be home early.

ApocalypseThen Thu 27-Nov-14 18:28:32

It's a bit late to leave you down, I'd say. Really, he should have not left it till the last minute - you were probably expecting him at this stage.

Bowlersarm Thu 27-Nov-14 18:28:56

No I wouldn't be annoyed.

It's a very rare opportunity to catch up with his friend. DH is taking tomorrow off work to be with you, I think that's fair enough.

And he'll be back at a reasonable time to send the rest of the evening with you.

Rollergirl1 Thu 27-Nov-14 18:46:54

I guess i'm just feeling a little bit sorry for myself, which is silly really. I was expecting him back about now and thought his text was going to be asking if we needed anything bringing in.

Jolleigh Thu 27-Nov-14 18:47:37

I'm on the fence. But only because he's left you doing bedtime after he said he'd help. I agree he should pick up a takeaway on his way back so you still don't have to cook and he does bedtime tomorrow night instead. If he'd not promised the help at bedtime, it wouldn't have bothered me as it's a friend he very obviously rarely gets to see and he's still taking you out tomorrow.

Shedwood Thu 27-Nov-14 18:54:05

I'd have text him back asking who he'd arranged to do the bedtime routine and cook dinner then as you've made plans to have a birthday drink with one of your friends as he'd said he was going to do it.

See what he said to that.

If they'd been a "do you mnd if..." I'd have been a bit more forgiving, but on the one day of the year when you can expect to be put first, and regardless of that when he'd said he was going to do a task and then went back on his word so HE could do something fun without checking it was ok, I'd definitely be p-eed off.

katese11 Thu 27-Nov-14 19:10:49

YANBU....I generally get annoyed with dh every time I have a birthday!

confusedandemployed Thu 27-Nov-14 19:13:30

I wouldn't be annoyed, he hardly ever sees his mate. Share a bottle when he gets home and make the most of tomorrow.

Happy birthday!

GotToBeInItToWinIt Thu 27-Nov-14 19:19:03

Id be annoyed as he had made plans with you and then changed them at the last minute without consulting you. That's rude regardless of it being your birthday, who plans are with etc.

BalloonSlayer Thu 27-Nov-14 19:21:27

hmm I might have texted back something like "Presume you'll be ok with me breaking a promise and pissing off out on the lash on YOUR birthday then" and then turning my phone off.

But then I am a cow.

Patrickstarisabadbellend Thu 27-Nov-14 19:23:13

I would be annoyed.

Rollergirl1 Thu 27-Nov-14 19:35:12

I guess i'm just irritated because he was meant to be having a proper night with his friend last night but had to come back. If he'd spent the evening with him last night he wouldn't have had to see him tonight.

YouAreBoring Thu 27-Nov-14 19:38:36

I wouldn't have minded but I'd have liked him to ask.

EverythingsRunningAway Thu 27-Nov-14 19:41:58

That is really mean to let you down like that on your birthday.

VanitasVanitatum Thu 27-Nov-14 19:42:34

I wouldn't dream of doing this on my dps birthday, as I make a big fuss of them. Other people don't though, and it doesn't mean they care any less.

I would try to do what fairenuff suggested because otherwise you'll end up unhappy on your own birthday. I have to admit I would probably have a bit of a wtf moment at him when he got back though, as unwise as that may be!

RiverTam Thu 27-Nov-14 19:45:15

I'd be a bit niggled right now, but unless you're planning to head off halfway around the world tomorrow, it's not that bad of him - yes, he had said he'd be back, but perhaps he's just really realised that he won't see his mate again for ages.

Enjoy your evening when he gets home and your lunch tomorrow.

Happy Birthday! flowerswine

EverythingsRunningAway Thu 27-Nov-14 19:45:24

I don't make a fuss of birthdays.

But I wouldn't just drop DH like a stone and leave him with all the childcare without a by your leave on his birthday when we had plans.

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