To cut a long story short one of the NCT mums has a dd that goes to the same school as my dd. The girls are in year 1 and hang around in a little group of six girls. We often have play dates. There is some in fighting but generally they get along.
A new girl has started the class and she has been labelled a bully by a couple of the mums in the group, one of the mums being by nct friend. The new girl has pushed and kicked several of the kids, including my dd. When my dd has told me this she says it in a matter of fact way. I tell her this behaviour is wrong but also try to see if my dd provoked her.
At a recent halloween party I saw my dd and this girl playing roughly but enjoying themselves. There wasn't any worrying behaviour. I also noted when the new girl tried to play with other girls they ostracised her, 'you are naughty! You can't play with us,' and she lashed out at them.
Now the nct mum I am close to, a lovely lady, is complaining to the teacher about new girl bullying her child. New girl has been uninvited to a party. There are lots of gossip between the mums about there being problems at new girls home as the reason for her bad behaviour. We don't know this, its just guesses.
To be honest I feel sick of it. Yes the new girl does hit and push and I am concerned but I don't think our dds are blameless. I think our dds are being provocative mean girls at times and prissy. I mentioned this and got a few retorts, like if my own dd was being bullied more like nct mum's dd I would be kicking up a fuss.
To be honest one of the other mums complaining about new girl has a ds who is a bully but no one says anything to her and she's made the most complaints.
Sorry for rant but it kept me awake last night.
So the questions are:
Am I minimising new girls behaving and defending her over my dd and her friends?
Should I be more supportive to nct mum who I've been friends with for ages?
What should I do? Butt out or challenge this?
Thanks
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44 replies
atypicalwotsit · 27/11/2014 06:04
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