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AIBU?

...to feel that charity agent workers should be stopped?

98 replies

whatever187 · 26/11/2014 10:44

Today as I tried to leave my local supermarket with my shopping and baby in the pram, I was approached by a person from one of these charity sign up stands (you know the ones where they take your bank details and you sign up to a direct debit to support x-charity)
He was stood in my way, showing me a picture of some dogs and asking if I would like to sponsor one. I said no, to which he didn't move, and asked 'why, don't you like dogs?' It felt awkward and I replied that our family couldn't afford it. Thinking that would be that (and it is embarrassing enough to be made to stand there and say that) he ridiculously claimed 'Everyone can afford it, it is only £2 a week' I was almost immediately irritated, I have a lot going on today with appointments etc and didn't feel like having to explain, so I said that it wasn't true as we can't. He was so pushy and to my utter disbelief said 'Well, you can afford shopping and having a baby'
YES! Yes we can because we planned to do that, we budgeted to do that and we already support a charity, don't enjoy luxuries and are happy because we wanted a second child, knowing we would be making sacrifices to do so, but we do it. I told him exactly that! He angered me so much when he asked if we were saving in trust funds... yes... well then we have some money to spare! No... we don't. Why won't you leave me alone? 'Because people think it's ok to say they can't afford it and move along. What if everyone did that? We would have to close rescue centres within 6 months, it is ONLY £2 a week!'
I literally felt like crying, it was so embarrassing and I was getting so enraged, so I asked if he supported them, to which he answered 'No, because I work for them' He doesn't, he works for an agency that gets employed to fundraise! I told him that and proceeded to walk forwards, he had no choice but to move out of the way of my pram or get run over, but now I feel terrible.
AIBU to think that this shouldn't be allowed? It is turning me against charity of all kinds!
Sorry about the rant

OP posts:
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WipsGlitter · 26/11/2014 10:46

I would complain to the charity involved.

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EatShitDezza · 26/11/2014 10:48

I hate these people.

I tend to say 'I hate dogs! And 'I hate kids'

They don't know what to say then!

I also get away with saying I'm 16/17 so too young to sign up.

I would complain about this man

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TheAlias · 26/11/2014 10:49

I think you should complain to the supermarket. I am amazed they let these people in. An experience like that would make me choose a different supermarket next week.

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bakingtins · 26/11/2014 10:50

I would complain to the charity and the supermarket. Being so downright rude and pushy will give them a bad name.
I think there are rules about this, I know when doing collecting tin stuff for Christian Aid we were told we weren't allowed to directly ask for donations or shake the tin under people's noses.
Professional chuggers are a menace, and almost always know very little about the charity they are purporting to be from.

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VenusRising · 26/11/2014 10:52

Definitely complain about this man to the charity and to the police too for harassment.

You don't have to take that shit.

And take a deep breath.

You don't have to explain yourself to anyone you know.
"Get out of my way" might be worth practicing.

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TheWitTank · 26/11/2014 10:53

Complain to the charity, but also complain to the supermarket. Can I ask which one it was? A few have strict guidelines about chuggers and won't allow charities who are trying to sign up customers by direct debit. I used to do PR for one of the big ones. They will not be impressed by harassment of customers. I have personally kicked out two "fundraisers" in the past who pestered customers -they promised on booking they wouldn't be collecting customers details or setting up direct debit but they were. People don't want to be harassed while doing their shopping.

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glentherednosedbattleostrich · 26/11/2014 10:54

Definitely complain, and ring the supermarket too. You shouldn't be harrased because you've come shopping.

FWIW, I often reply that I spend all my spare money on gin so can't possibly support their charity. They are usually to surprised to say anything else!

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SockQueen · 26/11/2014 10:54

I hate them, but charities employ them because they work.

They all have a script to follow to try to overcome the basic objections most people have ("can't afford it," "don't know about the charity" etc) but it sounds like he massively overstepped the mark with commenting on your shopping and baby.

I find the best way is not to get into an argument, just say calmly and firmly "No, sorry, I'm not interested," walk on and repeat that as many times as necessary. Then they are chasing you and look like a loon, rather than engaging with you.

Though in this case my answer to "Don't you like dogs" would be "No, not really," and I'd move on with minimal guilt! Grin

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TheAlias · 26/11/2014 10:54

Yes, I've never understood that baking. When I've done (proper!) charity collections you're told you're not even allowed to shake the tin. DS1 went poppy selling this year but they were told in no uncertain terms they weren't allowed to ask anyone and yet it's ok for people to try and bully you into signing a DD mandate!

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colafrosties · 26/11/2014 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fibromum · 26/11/2014 10:57

I hate it too. You can't walk down the street in town without some chugger trying to stop you or worse walk with you. The ones that come round the door always say all your neighbours have signed up so you will too. Nope doesn't work and I totally hate the leading questions, well yes of course I care about cancer, cats, dog, donkeys etc but that doesn't mean I can afford to give to everyone.

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amidaiwish · 26/11/2014 10:58

i speak back to them in french. works every time.
or i scoul with my hand up as i walk briskly past, never engage!

i once heard one of them (from a cancer charity) say to a woman who said no to them, after engaging in conversation, that they hoped she didn't get cancer as there will never be a cure because of people like her!

They should be banned. and door to door salesmen. If they weren't effective we wouldn't have them so only one solution imo.

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OddBoots · 26/11/2014 10:58

Charities that use chuggers are crossed off my 'give to' list even for direct donations. I'm sure I don't make any kind of difference but it's what feels right to me.

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AlpacaLypse · 26/11/2014 11:01

Absolutely agree, complain about his behaviour to the charity and to the supermarket. Neither organisation want the bad publicity that this sort of thing engenders.

I have so far written sorrowful emails to five major charities explaining that while they continue to employ commission-earning 'chugger' companies I will not feel about to support them as I would rather 100% of my donation went to the charity.

The RSPCA in particular have blown it after the third frankly hysterical harassing phone call.

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skylark2 · 26/11/2014 11:02

I say "sorry, my charity money's allocated for this year" and just keep walking.

I'm afraid that for the door-to-door ones I play incompetent little woman who has no idea what her bank details are ('oh sorry, my husband does all that, he's not in.') Blush Works, though.

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Chandon · 26/11/2014 11:05

complain to the charity and the supermarket.

I can be very flippant and just say things like : " I don't care about dogs", but mostly I simply don't engage with them, I just look "through" them.

The chuggers have made our high street shopping experience quite awful,, I just walk past them but smile (or not) and say "no thanks" in absentminded manner, or if they are pushy/aggressive I look through them.

I hate aggressive sales of anything, and that is what it is, sales. It is taking some cash to give you a better conscience in return.

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FiveHoursSleep · 26/11/2014 11:06

Skylark, I do the same. Or use my obviously foreign accent to my advantage and say I'm leaving to go 'home' tomorrow. I've also told door chuggers that I'm the Nanny which works well until one of the kids barrels up and yells 'Mummy' at me...

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Chandon · 26/11/2014 11:07

Oh, and door-to-door people I say crossly I do not give my bank details to people knocking on my door!

I sound like a right Grinch Wink

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colafrosties · 26/11/2014 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheAlias · 26/11/2014 11:08

I hate this and as I said above I don't understand why the retailers allow it - it must affect thier business but I just say no thank you and keep walking/close the door. I agree don't engage they have all the answers to any objection you raise. Skylark2, I'm surprise they didn't ask when he'd be in so they could come back - they should have done if they were any good Grin .

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WooWooOwl · 26/11/2014 11:08

I don't think they should be banned, they do raise some much needed funds, but they should have more regulation. And if individual workers don't have enough common sense to stop themselves from being so rude, then they need better training.

I'd complain to the supermarket. Getting slots for supermarket collections is a big deal for many charities, they won't be happy about one of their workers putting their charity's slot in jeopardy.

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TheFairyCaravan · 26/11/2014 11:10

DS1 has just been through Phase 1 training (was known as basic training) with the army. They had an afternoon of these workers coming in and basically giving them the hard sell and pulling at their heart strings to give to their charities. There wasn't just the one, there was about 20.

DS1 ended up giving £10 a month to both Water Aid and UNICEF because he read the literature, looked at the photos and listened to what they had to say and felt backed into a corner.

When he told DH and I we were horrified that this is going on, and wondered who on earth granted the permission for it to happen. DS already gives to the Army Benevolent Fund. He has decided that he wants to stop the payments to WA and UNICEF, but as it comes straight out of his wages he is having a right job making it happen!

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Chandon · 26/11/2014 11:11

with callers I get slightly hysterical and say: "Wait, stop, how did you get my number? I want to be taken off the list! Now please. And never call me again please, This is a number for emergencies only. thank you very much. Goodbye Goodbye"

Huge advantage to not being a polite Brit (but God, I love you guys!)

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CrunchySlippers · 26/11/2014 11:16

agreed with the others saying to report him to the charity and the store - thats terrible behaviour i (like to) think i would have said "actually, no i dont like dogs..."

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OnlyLovers · 26/11/2014 11:17

That's outrageous and you have nothing to feel bad about. Write a complaint to the charity listing exactly how the conversation went.

The only answer needed to questions like 'why, don't you like dogs?' and provocative and stupid statements like 'Everyone can afford it, it is only £2 a week' is a polite smile and 'I'm not interested, thank you.' And keep walking.

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