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To not help dd with her homework and let her be late for school?

(27 Posts)
Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:13:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Wed 26-Nov-14 08:14:48

How old?

Phoenixfrights Wed 26-Nov-14 08:14:59

Yes let her be late and miss the homework deadline. Important life lesson ;)

Funkytown Wed 26-Nov-14 08:15:26

yanbu let her learn the hard way about responsiblities

MehsMum Wed 26-Nov-14 08:15:40

How old is she?

I had one who was like all the way through. In the end - mid-teens - I just said, it's not my job any more. I will wake you up when I wake everyone else up, and after that it's up to you.

Oddly enough, she managed to get her bus almost every morning after that, without three reminders from me.

Preciousbane Wed 26-Nov-14 08:16:29

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Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:17:35

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ThrowAChickenInTheAir Wed 26-Nov-14 08:18:07

Depends on her age and whether she's coping at school.

Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:19:20

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Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:20:41

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ThrowAChickenInTheAir Wed 26-Nov-14 08:23:44

Is the step up to secondary school and more independent learning overwhelming her? Maybe there's a homework club she could go to to.

Perhaps have an appt with her and her tutor about how to manage homework. Learning to manage it is a skill in itself. Most schools know this and would like to know if anyone is struggling, so they can offer support.

Boysandme Wed 26-Nov-14 08:24:17

What happens if she misses her lift? Can she get to school another way?

I would be tempted to let her 'fail' this project and hopefully be shocked by the low mark.

She is presumably year 7 so still needs some help settling into secondary and the totally different demands and systems so I would still support her not to miss lift etc. And I would just let her mess up one project rather than lots.

I do get it, my yr9 DS has big exams next week which will decide if he can do triple science GCSE. He hasn't put as much work as I would like into it but it matters and has consequences so I am cajoling him into it. If it was something that didn't matter so much I wouldn't waste my time.

Gatehouse77 Wed 26-Nov-14 08:29:57

If you feel you've tried and are getting nowhere then I would leave her to face the consequences - it may only have to happen once.
I have had similar with all of mine at different times and they have to learn and understand their own responsibilities. And what happens when you don't do what is needed.
I have also made it clear to mine that I would explain to any teacher that the time, opportunity, offer of help, etc. we're all given and I will not be the fall guy for their failings.

Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:32:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

R4roger Wed 26-Nov-14 08:35:08

i think she will just have to explain herself. dont miss lift and perhaps the teachers will help her to complete?

Sorryconnectioncannotbefound Wed 26-Nov-14 08:36:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 26-Nov-14 08:37:29

What does she do when she gets home in the afternoon/evenings?

Whatever she is doing, it's not getting her project done.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 26-Nov-14 08:40:36

Take her gadgets off her at weekends til the home works done - no tv etc?

Preciousbane Wed 26-Nov-14 08:41:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormaStits Wed 26-Nov-14 08:46:27

This is the perfect time for her to learn these lessons, far better now with year 7 work that is just for the teacher, than later on for GCSE work.

Phoenixfrights Wed 26-Nov-14 09:19:58

It really is better to learn it young.

DH was mollycoddled when he was young re being on time and he is awful now - late for almost everything.

moshwuckler Wed 26-Nov-14 10:38:53

What's the mild Sen? Might be having a bigger impact on her than is immediately obvious?

Boysandme Wed 26-Nov-14 12:52:02

preciousnine - it is science end of kS3 exam as in DS's school they do ks3 science in just over 2 years then start GCSE science after Xmas in yr9. They are using the end of KS3 SATS taken next week to decide who is allowed to do triple science at GCSE.

I think it is school specific but the problem is DS is perfectly capable in science and usually gets 6a marks but has mucked up a couple of recent tests and got 5bs(!) which would mean they wouldn't let him to triple science. So he has something to prove.

Back to the OP - I think half an hour walk is enough to be a pain but not too much that it would affect you or her (it could have been 9 miles and no bus or something but 30mins walk is perfectly fine for her to do).

Chandon Wed 26-Nov-14 13:01:45

I think she should pack he down lunch and bag.

Saying this as the mum of a 12 yr old. I don't rush him, but make sure I remind him to do things like HW or bag packing way before it's stress time.

Saying that, my DS is going through a settling in phase in Y7 and still has not got the hang of things (he seems to have homework, but he claims he does it at tutor time, then nothing at vague! I need to check up on him more)

It is hard to get into the swing of new things.

IMO, you need a routine you can do on "auto pilot".

We start breakfast at 7:10 on the dot every day. It was 7:15 but tyhen he got stressed when eh could not find shoes/bus pass.

Routine and a fixed place for things!

TimeForAnotherNameChange Wed 26-Nov-14 13:05:45

If you're confident it is just the 'can't be bothered' bit and nothing to do with coping mechanisms or the sen, then I'd let her fall on her sword to be honest. Far better this year then in another couple! Like you say, have a chat with the teacher or send an email or whatever, and let them know that you've provided every opprtunity and help for the work to be done but that she has refused. They'll appreciate the info.

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