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AIBU to air my views on my child's safety in school in front of 26 parents of children in the same class???

(95 Posts)
Warriorqueen69 Wed 26-Nov-14 01:29:35

Ok, my dd is year 6 and in the year 7 maths group in her primary school. She is a good girl in class - never had a bad word said about her by the staff.

The other day, her group was left to work unsupervised for a few minutes. Some of them ran around the room with rulers hitting other kids, others did silly dances. My dd asked around for a pencil sharpener from a couple of kids, as her pencil lead had broken and she wanted to be ready for the test on the teacher's return and her sharpener was missing from her pencil case.

My dd went to the door to look for her teacher to alert her to the bad behaviour that had ensured. The teacher entered and promptly gave the whole class a sanction, my dd included.
No big deal really, if a tad unfair.

Anyway, a while ago I'd started this year 6 site on FB for parents - a general info site, sharing of ideas, concerns etc - we have them in all the other years, so it was a good idea (I thought) to start something for our year.

I posted a post asking parents about how they felt about kids getting a sanction after being unsupervised for a time in class. I suggested I wasn't happy about this. (May I say now I am a secondary school teacher and I would not expect children under 15 to be able to comply with being silent in their seats in the absence of a member of staff). It was a bit of a grumble, nothing more and in the morning, i sought out the teacher concerned and had a real heart to heart.

Thing is, in the interim, someone felt it necessary to go and tell the teacher I had been unhappy with how things had transpired. So after we had sorted it out, she asked me not to post on FB.

Sorry, but I had posted in a very discrete group mentioning no names about a general situation. I reserve my right to free speech, especially where my child is concerned. I am pretty pissed off with the person who thought it appropriate to stir things up, something small and irritating, making it involve many people.

In short, this evening, I had TWO school dads laying into me: How DARE I disrespect the teacher by questioning her authority. One was almost threatening, suggesting that if I ever involved his daughter in anything in future, he would not "stand for it".

AIBU to expect the school to account for the times they leave my 10 year old unsupervised and then whack a blanket sanction on all the kids when the teacher returns regardless???? AIBU to expect threatening and horrible comments from fathers of my dd's peers when I question this policy of the schools?

MidniteScribbler Wed 26-Nov-14 01:56:37

YABcompletelyU posting on Facebook about something that happened in school like this. If you have an issue, you take it up directly with the teacher and the school, not bitch about it online. Passive aggressive bitching on the internet is extremely unprofessional, and is a very ugly personality trait.

You say you are a teacher, but how would you feel if the parents of one of your students starting bitching about your teaching on a school group on facebook instead of addressing it with you directly?

Darkandstormynight Wed 26-Nov-14 02:18:17

You are kidding? Please tell me you are? Think back to that grade - no one likes the class snitch. I would have told my dd to not have snitched on the class in the first place. Good for her for not going along with it, but there was no need to fink on the others. Not a good way to make friends.

I'm glad for your dd that she was made to go along with sanctions. Think of the children in classroom that snitched And didn't have to endure sanctions.

Darkandstormynight Wed 26-Nov-14 02:19:42

And Yes YABU!

steff13 Wed 26-Nov-14 02:20:48

Do you really think it's unreasonable for a teacher to leave a group of 10-year-olds alone for a few minutes and expect them to behave? I don't. Unless they have special needs they should be able to handle that.

islandmama Wed 26-Nov-14 02:39:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bulbasaur Wed 26-Nov-14 02:44:59

10 years are incapable of sitting still and not hitting each other with rulers? Really? I should hope they do get sanctions. You don't act like that, and they need to learn that. Even a 10 year old knows not to hit another child with a ruler and do a silly dance. They were acting up and knew it.

But to the facebook post, what ever you post online is public. This forum post is public. If you have a dispute you keep it behind closed doors instead of publicly broadcasting it to fellow parents. Really what you did was public gossiping.

Should parents threaten? No, but pulling you up on inappropriate behavior isn't threatening, it's venting online.

Free speech means you are free to say as you wish. It also means that people are free to disagree with you and say as they wish. But it does not mean you get to say what you want unchallenged. That's not what free speech is.

mynewpassion Wed 26-Nov-14 03:02:18

You can air your views all you want. The other parents are just airing their views about you to your face instead of anonymous forum. What's your problem? Not liking it when it happens to you.

Also, YOU ARE A TEACHER. You know how the system works. You should've taken it up with the teacher first instead of venting anonymously.

You've resolved it satisfactorily. Now leave the teacher alone so she can get back to teaching. However, its not enough. You continue to punish this teacher by venting on here indirectly.

Are you really a teacher?

MidniteScribbler Wed 26-Nov-14 03:04:41

By the way, I can leave groups of my 3/4 students to work independently for ten minutes and not have it erupt in chaos. I would question your effectiveness as a teacher if you are unable to expect the same from a group of secondary students.

mynewpassion Wed 26-Nov-14 03:09:31

One last thing, maybe that father doesn't like you writing things concerning his daughter, even though she wasn't identified by name but by the situation.

Euphemia Wed 26-Nov-14 03:37:01

I'm a teacher and I'm staggered that you think your conduct is acceptable. Where is your professionalism? Facebook, really?!

SavoyCabbage Wed 26-Nov-14 04:24:27

Yabu. I imagine the teacher hadn't asked them to sit in total silence as you suggest. I think it's more likely she asked them to carry on with what they were doing.

I would definitely expect my own 10 year olds class to manage that and to be in trouble if they didn't.

I'm a teacher too and I would never go on social media to talk about a school situation like that. Even if the teacher had tossed my did out of the window I wouldn't go on Facebook about it.

Aussiemum78 Wed 26-Nov-14 04:35:32

I dunno, it sounds like you are overly involved with school. Starting fb groups, talking to teachers. The issue sounds minor, and your daughter wasn't distressed. Why bother with all the follow up?

Your daughter should have independence at school. From parental interference. Including being left in a classroom for a few minutes.

If my dd told me that, I'd say "gee that sounds annoying. Did you tell them to quit being silly? Or just stay out of it". Unless there was distress, I wouldn't do anything else.

I think you are stifling her resilience, by trying to fix/smooth over everything. And teachers must resent you interfering.

cheesecakemom Wed 26-Nov-14 05:10:52

YABU!
This happened to me as a kid - a few times as I was quiet. Would you have expected the teacher to excuse your DD from the punishment? You were not there, and just because your child says it happened that way, it doesn't mean it's true.

If this teacher isn't on the Facebook group I would say you are out of line!

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 26-Nov-14 05:16:30

Discreet. Are you really a teacher?

KoalaDownUnder Wed 26-Nov-14 05:22:04

YABU.

If you really are a teacher, I am totally shocked.

Of course 'children under 15' should be able to be left unsupervised without running riot. That's a pathetically low expectation.

You are unreasonable and disrespectful for posting about such a petty thing on a Facebook group. I don't blame other parents for being angry.

christinarossetti Wed 26-Nov-14 05:43:28

Yep. For all the reasons above yabvu.

SWIMTHECHANNEL Wed 26-Nov-14 06:15:23

Discrete and discreet are two separate words NoArm.

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 26-Nov-14 06:21:15

Yes I know. They also have different meanings

AuntieStella Wed 26-Nov-14 06:25:43

I don't think 'continue working' is too much to expect of top set year 6.

And I don't think it was unfair that your DD was included in the punishment, as she too was out of her seat.

So I suspect that her version of events might have been self-serving, and therefore not really a basis for any onwards action (except perhaps asking the teacher for clarification - and as a teacher you should know that), let alone publishing something about it.

Of course it's fair for others to comment on your post.

Warriorqueen69 Wed 26-Nov-14 06:29:29

LOL at the outrage. I don't think I was. It was a low level grumble is all. Don't people have real stuff to be upset by other than someone asking a question about how their kids are treated at school? shakes head and signs out

paxtecum Wed 26-Nov-14 06:29:51

OP: Imagine if the teachers had a closed FB group and whinged about the parents on it.

Is it a massive deal to leave 10 year olds unsupervised in a classroom, in a locked school for a few minutes?

YABVU and need to rethink what you put on FB.
Maybe give it up for 6 months.

VikingVolva Wed 26-Nov-14 06:34:43

"Lol at the outrage"

It always amuses me when someone describes posters who disagree with them as being outraged! Clearly having a 'low level' comment can only happen if in perfect harmony with Warriorqueen69.

Anyone care to bet on whether the other FB comments would seem even slightly stirring?

overmydeadbody Wed 26-Nov-14 06:38:31

Warrior don't you have anything better to grumble about?

You asked if YABU.

Well, yes, you are. Very.

billyokey Wed 26-Nov-14 06:39:52

Did you 'shake your head and sign out' of Facebook when none agreed with you there too? When everybody you ask thinks YABU perhaps it's time to examine a new perspective of the situation?

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