Please don't think that I am being smug. It really is not my intention and I am genuinely asking for advice.
I have a 3 year old DD and a 9 month old DS. We have a very nice life, a calm and settled family life, I am able to choose to be at home with my children as long as I want to and we are very close to supportive extended family. We have had a difficult few years due to illness and bereavement but, all in all, I know that we are very lucky.
I grew up with the same privileges but I was very much protected from any harsh realities of life. I mixed with children from the same privileged background and, as a result, I was a spoilt little madam - I look back now and cringe. It wasn't until I went to Uni and started mixing with a wider circle of people and then, when I became a teacher and worked in some of the most deprived areas of the country, that I truly began to appreciate how lucky I am.
I don't want my children to grow up like I did. I try not to buy DD lots of things for no reason and make her wait until special occasions or until she has earned it on her starchart. She has already started doing some simple chores around the house and already appreciates that we are a family and we all help each other. She is lovely with her little brother (I was wicked to my little sister - something I regret after almost losing her to cancer recently) and I have worked hard to encourage them to grow up to be very kind and respectful of each other.
I have recently started taking DD with me when I take food to the local foodbank. I talk about what we are doing in very simple terms and she seems to take it in her stride. Today, we dropped some things off and, when we came out, there was a young woman with a baby in a carseat sobbing outside the church. I asked her if she was OK and she said that she had been to the foodbank but that her name wasn't on the list so she couldn't have anything (I have no idea how foodbanks work). I asked her if I could call anyone for her and she said no, she would get off home. She started to walk, carrying a very heavy carseat. I asked her if she wanted a lift. She refused at first as she said her friend was picking her up in an hour but she would start walking. It was freezing so she eventually agreed to me giving her a lift. I took her 6 miles!!! She might have walked all that way! When we got there I gave her some of my shopping to tide her over.
I have been thinking about her all night and it has made me so upset. Could I/Should I have done more? I told my mom what had happened and she said I shouldn't take DD as she doesn't need to see that sort of thing!! I disagree.
What are your thoughts to exposing/talking to very young children about the harsher side of life and encouraging them to help others?
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To ask for ideas to make sure that my children don't grow up to be spoilt and entitled
26 replies
CountryMummy1 · 25/11/2014 20:22
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