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To have said this to supermarket worker?

(125 Posts)
Sockstealer Tue 25-Nov-14 19:59:54

There's a guy in my local supermarket who irritates the hell out of me, he's completely over the top bordering on inappropriate and I try to avoid his queue like the plague.

The first time I encountered him he seemed very friendly but quickly became over friendly, asking what I was doing that night and then joking loudly that he might 'see me there', while another employee stood by his side giggling.

A few weeks ago dp and I had an 'unexpected item in the bagging area' and this guy came over and started loudly saying "oohhh I'll have to count all your items as incase you're trying to steal something".

He'll say things such as "I knew it was you I can recognise you from behind". His absolute favourite line is "cheer up love/darling, it might never happen".

These are just a few examples. I'm always pleasant to the staff and I'm happy to make small talk, but generally just want to get in and out and I find his behaviour too much.

Anyway today I popped in after work and school run. I was in a hurry and a bit hassled so went to self checkout. He was there.

While I was waiting for a free checkout somebody had left a random trolley in the middle of the aisle and he came up to me and said or should I say yelled in his over the top sing song voice "is this yours, you can't just leave it there you know". It wasn't mine and I said so. Then he pointed me to the next free self service. I thanked him and started to scan and bag my stuff. He then started asking "are you alright today love", "not too bad" I said. Then he got right up in my face leaning over me and said "miserable today aren't you, what's the matter? Not your usual self are you?".

At which point I'd bagged my shopping turned around and said "it's you, you need to tone it down a bit" and walked out.

I was probably childish but I feel better for it.

I hate strangers telling me to 'cheer up' when they've no idea what might be going on. It was the last straw.

MysticMugBug Tue 25-Nov-14 20:09:15

yanbu, I would be pissed off too

ILiveOnABuildsite Tue 25-Nov-14 20:14:45

Oh I love a friendly and chatty (within the reasonable definition of the word) supermarket worker. He would had f**k me right off with this sort of attitude, and it takes a lot for me to say this. I'm normally a strong advocate of small talk at the till but this is far too much and too familiar.

So yanbu! And to be honest I don't think it was such a childish response, it was quite to the point and reflected how you felt.

mollypollly Tue 25-Nov-14 20:14:53

Oh my goodness, I think you were very restrained!! He sounds absolutely horrendous... Hopefully he will be better next time! x

anyoldusernamewilldo Tue 25-Nov-14 20:20:36

YABU, he was just being friendly, no need for you to crush him in that way. You sound horrible.

MistAndAWeepingRain Tue 25-Nov-14 20:22:18


Sounds like he massively overstepped boundaries.

Sockstealer Tue 25-Nov-14 20:25:24

I think that he thinks he's a bit if a character and hilarious. But I find his 'banter' too much and even embarrassing. It's as though he's got no barrier to read body language and tries to force his behaviour onto you.

As I say always happy to make normal small talk even if I'm not really in the mood.

Unfortunately I don't think he took it on board because as I was walking away he was saying "ooowah", as if to say I was touchy, he probably just has me down as a miserable cow and I will just avoid him even more and probably that shop whenever possible.

Sockstealer Tue 25-Nov-14 20:30:02

Anyold, I'm genuinely not horrible and I'm also usually the least confrontational person, but the whole 'you're miserable today' tipped me over the edge.

One day he may say that to somebody who is having serious tragedy in their lives. Being friendly can just be a smile and being helpful, not demanding to know why a person isn't grinning from ear to ear.

Bambambini Tue 25-Nov-14 20:30:50

Crush his toes with yar trolley next time!

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen Tue 25-Nov-14 20:31:18

anyoldusernamewilldo please tell me you are joking hmm.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen Tue 25-Nov-14 20:31:55

Oh and YANBU OP. Totally inappropriate behaviour.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall Tue 25-Nov-14 20:32:12

Im often being told to "cheer up" I hate it. I dont have a natural smile so if Im just being myself, not necessarily sad, but not grinning either people feel the need to tell me to cheer up. I wish they would fuck off.

Id try to ignore and avoid him too.

Arlagirl Tue 25-Nov-14 20:32:22

It would fuck me right off..he is overstepping the line

Rebecca2014 Tue 25-Nov-14 20:34:37

It sounds like he may have an crush on you...o

drbonnieblossman Tue 25-Nov-14 20:34:56

You weren't rude. But more than likely he has some difficulties socially.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen Tue 25-Nov-14 20:35:46

And why does it matter if someone looks miserable? You have no idea what is going on in their life and they don't have to look cheerful just to please you.

Some arsehole once told me to "cheer up love, it might never happen" right after I had just found out my best friend had died.

BerniceBroadside Tue 25-Nov-14 20:36:10

Yes, that would piss me off too.

Xenadog Tue 25-Nov-14 20:36:18

I would report him to management to be honest. I've worked with staff like this and they'd piss off the other staff as much as the customers! (I used to be a customer service manager at a well known supermarket).

There's a bloke like this at my local supermarket and I do wonder if he has learning or social difficulties of some kind as he's inappropriate and too helpful. I would not report him however - just avoid him but if you are sure this man has no such issues I would definitely report him.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall Tue 25-Nov-14 20:37:21

ThereIs I got it 2 days after my sister had died.

MrsPiggie Tue 25-Nov-14 20:38:13

Yanbu at all. Obnoxious moron, he would annoy the heck out of me.

CaptainAnkles Tue 25-Nov-14 20:38:42

I hate randoms strangers saying 'cheer up. It might never happen' etc. Rude, presumptuous, intrusive. How do they know which people just don't happen to enjoy walking around grinning madly, and which ones have just left a dying relatives bedside?

Shop workers etc should be friendly and chatty to a certain degree but some do take it too far to the point where it becomes unwelcome and impolite.

Joolsy Tue 25-Nov-14 20:39:11

YANBU. Very irritating. But he may have learning difficulties which make it hard for him to read social cues and body language. And I bet you're not the only one who gets wound up by him.

Musicaltheatremum Tue 25-Nov-14 20:41:23

When my husband was dying someone said "cheer up it will never happen" to me. They were mortified when I told them it was happening before my eyes. OP he is pushing the boundaries too far. YANBU

anyoldusernamewilldo Tue 25-Nov-14 20:41:39

I just think no-one deserves to be shot down for being too friendly. Yes, most people have had serious tragedy at some point, but these sort of superficial exchanges still happen whenever people are out and about. Your response seems precious and out of proportion to his "offence". If he's less friendly to the next person, will he be pulled up for being surly? You can't expect everyone to make the same judgement as you about what's an appropriate level of banter etc, he has to interact with hundreds of different people every day.

Summerisle1 Tue 25-Nov-14 20:42:46

YANBU. It'd irritate the hell out of me.

You really ought to consider reporting him to the management. My ds2 is training manager for a supermarket and he'd much rather know that someone's attitude and approach to customers needs a bit of work.

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