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AIBU to fancy the pants off a serial killer?

(88 Posts)
kelliebrookexoxo Tue 25-Nov-14 12:25:26

Okay please forgive me for the slightly shocking title but it sets the tone for the predicament that I have gotten myself in to. So, on Thursday night, I settled down to the second episode of the new series of The Fall, cuppa tea and Dairy Milk in hand ;) Half way through I posted a FB status, (Facebook here we go, I know!) saying that Jamie Dornan could kill me anyday! And that he was a sexy serial killer. Obviously, this was a joke and I do not infact want Jamie Dornan nor anyone for that matter to kill me... ever. However, a lady (in her thirties) whom I'd only met a few days before at a friend's birthday dinner took offence to my status and left the comment 'Oh dear. What a silly thing to say! Think before you press send'. I promptly deleted the status very embarrassed and so as to make sure none of my friends could publicly defend my little comment or indeed so that no one else could criticise it! I private messaged her, saying 'Sorry, I didn't mean to cause offence. Have deleted the post xx'. No reply. Now I am kind of angry with myself for apologising in the first place and not defending myself. What do you think? Was my status inappropriate or was she out of line?


GoodKingQuintless Tue 25-Nov-14 12:27:13


You are not serious, are you?

Heels99 Tue 25-Nov-14 12:28:55

You are totally out of line fgs. But at least you deleted it.

camra Tue 25-Nov-14 12:30:11

I think you meant it as a joke; and that's how most people would take it. You've learnt a lesson about social media, though, without the nuances of body language, it's hard to know if something is meant seriously or not. She got the wrong end of the stick.

My advice? Forget it and move on.

CrohnicallyAnxious Tue 25-Nov-14 12:30:45

Inappropriate. Saying you fancy him - fine. Saying he can kill you any day - not fine. It's not funny, so it's not a 'joke' and it could be triggering or upsetting for lots of people.

And the lady definitely isn't out of line- it's a very mild comment to have made under the circumstances.

Boomtownsurprise Tue 25-Nov-14 12:32:12

She's a dick. It's a tv show. She maybe never heard of it but to be that prissy about it?! Sack her off. Delete her.

And you pmd her? That's just weird.

pictish Tue 25-Nov-14 12:33:04

Ach just forget it. It was probably ill judged but with no malicious intent. I am the Queen of such proclamations, so I sympathise.

Floggingmolly Tue 25-Nov-14 12:33:42

Well, it was a silly thing to say...

TheFutureSupremeRulersMum Tue 25-Nov-14 12:33:50

YANBU to fancy a fictional serial killer, although I will have to google Jamie Dornan now. You were silly to post the FB status that you did, even if it was supposed to be a joke, and I think it was sensible to delete it.

camra Tue 25-Nov-14 12:34:21

Not sure if it is weird for opening poster to pm her at all; she may have a member of family who was murdered by a serial killer and the op wanted to apologise.

But she's said sorry-meant-it-as-a-joke to her and now all concerned should just forget the faux pas.

2minsofyourtime Tue 25-Nov-14 12:35:31

The fall is brillant and very chilling, it leaves me cold! Brillant actin best I've seen in a while.

Having watched the fall i know what you are on abit and would be a bit hmmm.

Maybe she didn't realise what you meant.

I don't know it's very graphic

AryaOfHouseSnark Tue 25-Nov-14 12:36:13

I don't think it's that bad actually, I had to google JD to see who he was, it's not like he is an actual serial killer, that would be inappropriate.

BoredAdminGirl Tue 25-Nov-14 12:37:31

Had you have wrote that about a real life murderer it would have been completely innappropriate and messed up.

However it is a tv programme and clearly a joke. Saying that it was an odd post to make.

Forget it and move on.

I most definitely would not have messaged her

OfaFrenchMind Tue 25-Nov-14 12:37:51

Well, it was not the cleverest post on Facebook, for sure. But you know that, and that's your problem, not hers.
But I wish people would stop policing people's thoughts on the Internet, especially when it's a matter of personal perception. Don't apologize to a virtual stranger about what you say, you are not accountable to her.

Tinkerball Tue 25-Nov-14 12:41:09

I want to watch it now! I dont think what you said for a joke was bad either.

kelliebrookexoxo Tue 25-Nov-14 12:41:09

Yes AryaOfHouseSnark it would be! Just to clarify, the character is completely fictional!! I would not have made such a comment if the show was based on a true story or on particular real life individuals.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Nov-14 12:45:18

Weirder than the status was that you added this woman as a friend, when you'd only just met her a few days before?

WannaBe Tue 25-Nov-14 12:46:06

it's a fictional character in a tv show. and presumably it is the actor op fancies not even the fictional character he plays.

To get offended about that is ridiculous in the extreme so I would just bin her and move on.

MonstrousRatbag Tue 25-Nov-14 12:47:14

To me it was a tasteless comment, but you know, hardly the most serious faux pas. I think the way that woman slapped you down over it was unpleasant. Are you sure you still want her as an FB friend?

kelliebrookexoxo Tue 25-Nov-14 12:47:46

WorraLiberty- she added me smile

southeastastra Tue 25-Nov-14 12:48:48

delete her, she sounds humourless, if she gets offended by something silly like that you would not post anything

BeeRayKay Tue 25-Nov-14 12:48:51

Of course you should have written it. and you should not have taken it down.

1/. he is a fictional character, if she didn't know That, she should have googled
2/. it is not your job to be sure you aren't "being a trigger". in such innocuous circumstances (racism and such seripous things are a different kettle of fish)
3/. Jamie Dornan is fit. And if I'm going to be killed I'd rather it was by eye candy.
4/. I once put mynstatus as " Hannibal can eat me any say. I have a thing for gorgeous psychos'
5/. People take life Way too seriously.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Nov-14 12:50:16

It's the same thing.

If you add strangers to your friend list, you're bound to upset someone who doesn't know your sense of humour.

MyOwnJungle Tue 25-Nov-14 12:50:34

it was a risky joke.

BeeRayKay Tue 25-Nov-14 12:50:48

just to add. plenty of people will be saying it after Fifty Shades, but that's a trigger for me... am I allowed to put self serving comments up!

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