Talk

Obviously you will leave the bag alone and just seethe inwardly. You won't empty your hole punch storage contents into it, oh no.

Gosh- anything could accidentally fall into a bag if it is left on the floor beside your desk. Like your cup of coffee.
And it would be awful if you tripped on it because you didn't see it there, and kicked it across the room and everything fell out of it all over the floor. And if you were holding a marker pen when you tripped you might accidentally write 'wanker' in big letters on the side of the bag.

I'd dump it back on the floor again (with the contexts of the hole punch in).

The week before I went on maternity leave I sent a deranged ranting email to the whole office about people using my desk when I'm not there (I work across two offices) and leaving their dirty cup/altering my chair/pulling the cables out of my computer.

If he does it again I'd say something I couldn't help myself or I'd elbow it off the desk at him.

If you have a reception type place, hand it in as lost property (with contents of said hole punch)

Its on the floor already. Im considering putting it on a shelf though so he has to either look around for it or ask me where it is.

Failing that if he puts it back on my desk and expects it to stay there then it might be moved to the floor simply by pushing it off the desk rather than placing it there nicely.

report it as an abandoned bag and thus a security risk. then you'll all have to be sent home. win win. ;) <disclaimer I am of course being lighthearted>

High shelf. You need your desk for work, left on the floor it would be a trip hazard, so high shelf it is. Highest available on the other side of the room, for preference. Wanker

Put it on a shelf elsewhere. Then when he asks say "Oh that was YOURS! I thought it must be a communal bag since it was sitting on MY desk. I don't know where it is....someone moved it a while ago"

Leave it under your desk 'for safety' then when you see the twat coming back pretend to be on the phone a while so he has to wait until you are finished before he can ask you where it is.

Just out of interest were you sitting at the desk when he dumped it the second time? Make a comment if he does it again upon what is clearly your desk!

I'd be tempted to take his bag and go and look for him, hand it back to him with a charming smile and say 'you seem to have left your bag on my desk, I can't imagine how that cup of coffee got in there'.

Obviously coffee has to be thrown in from a great height in order to do maximum damage.

Controlled explosion. There really is no other way.

Get a huge rubber spider and place in carefully inside the bag.

...outlander or a plastic dog poo

at the thought of the OP detonating the man's bag!

it's sitting on your desk -oops I spilt my really sticky juice and it's now all over the bottom of your bag...... oh dear..... has it soaked through..... my oh my......all the way through Mr (self) Important .....all your work is ruined..............

Shouldn't have left it on my desk then should ya!!

My sister once had a cool bag destroyed in a controlled explosion at Disneyland!!

Report it to reception or security as unattended baggage - in many workplaces that'll really set the cat amongst the pigeons!

A confidential waste sack hides many things.

Just joking. I can understand your pain. My desk was the first one people got to when they left the conference room so I had random cups left there while people networked, made plans for lunch, dumped their bags/coats/files while trying to use the photocopier (that seemed more complicated than rocket science to some of them!) ; I even had the phone that I was about to use taken out of my hand, and and the call cut off so someone could call a taxi.

All done with loud voices so any real work going on was impossible. I felt as if I was invisible. These were all high up "caring sharing" big nobs.

Nobs being the operative word.

It wasn't until the union rep witnessed what happened (and this was happening 2-3 times a week) that he kicked up a stink and forced them to finish their meeting IN the conference room and not use the office/my desk as an ante-room.

This then led to exaggerated SHHH! as the conference room door opened and they tiptoed out miming silence at each other. You would have thought they were 11/12 years of age and not senior management at a bloody bank! Wankers.

Was so glad when I found a better job and resigned.

I would have removed it from the desk by standing on the desk, holding it above my head and hurling it with all my might toward the floor. Then jumping on to it.

However this may attract attention in the office so I would gently drop it to the floor and give it a surreptitious kick or run my chair wheels over it a bit.

Rude man.

Is there a lost property box at the office....?

My sister once had a cool bag destroyed in a controlled explosion at Disneyland!!

I'm imagining sandwiches, juice & yoghurts being flung to the far corners of the Magic Kingdom

It was a serious business knees. The cool bag was mom's and she's never found one so nice since. It's the stuff of family legend, the time Dsis blew up mom's coolbag

cakeandwine do you feel better for getting that out? I sense that you typed that without a breath

A lot of the offices that I have worked from haven't allowed bags to be put on the floor (L.A H&S mad), so he might be making a genuine mistake.

He should of addressed you, though and not treated you as irrelevant, very rude.

Nick his sandwiches.