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to encourage my dd (11) to audition for RBS?

(23 Posts)
PilesOfPlies Mon 24-Nov-14 21:18:16

DD is 11 and very focused on ballet. She does three classes a week and rehearses with a junior company at weekends. I think that she is probably quite good and certainly not afraid to put the work in. She practices every day at home and her teacher is very encouraging. We had discussed her applying for vocational ballet training at 16 but she wants to apply for the RBS this year. Because we are in Scotland her preliminary audition will be by video so really not a huge effort on our part at this stage. Neither she nor I expect her to get in (I may be wrong but while her teacher and summer school teachers have been encouraging none of them have ever indicated that she is outstanding - though she has gotten distinctions in her exams so far) and even if she did we would not be able to afford the fees. So I need to approach her teacher to say that dd wants to do this audition (and will need teachers help) and be prepared for her to scoff possibly. I wouldn't be telling many people because I would expect a negative response but I think that I should encourage dd to go for it - audition every year if she so wishes and what the hell if she doesn't get in - at least she'll know she did try.
I mentioned it to my DM who is very encouraging of dd and she stopped short of calling me crazy for having such high ambitions. But I do not think IABU for having dd reach for the stars - what do you think?

Cantbelievethisishappening Mon 24-Nov-14 21:22:01

Er.... if she got in how are you going to tell her she can't go because you can't afford the fees? Very bizarre.

Greyhound Mon 24-Nov-14 21:23:40

If she got in, could she get a scholarship?

Runwayqueen Mon 24-Nov-14 21:25:53

I would say do it for the experience, audition experience can never come early enough. Is there a scholarship she could try for?

CaulkheadUpNorth Mon 24-Nov-14 21:26:24

If you can't afford fees, don't let her take exam.

My parents and I chose for me to sit an entrance exam when I was 11 to local independent school. I passed and got partial scholarship but parents wouldn't let me go due to fees etc. took years for me to get over.

pauline6703 Mon 24-Nov-14 21:27:33

Encourage her and support her. Let her reach as high as she can.

teacherwith2kids Mon 24-Nov-14 21:28:57

If you cannot, under any circumstances, afford the fees if she DOES get in, then you should not let her audition. That is just cruel.

(Think about how you would feel if you were shown your hearts' desire, allowed to strive towards it, be told that yes, you are good enough for it ... and then told that it was known at the beginning that you couldn't get it).

If you COULD afford it, then there is nothing lost by her auditioning even if she fails to get in. But if there is no way at all - even with any of the sources of funding there might be - that she could go if she passed the audition, then don't start the process.

bananananacoconuts Mon 24-Nov-14 21:29:39

If a child earns a place at RBS then the fees paid are based on income. You will not be expected to pay full fees if you cannot afford it.

theeternalstudent Mon 24-Nov-14 21:29:52

as they say, 'shy weans dinny get chocolate' - go for it. If she doesn't get in then it has been a good learning experience and if she does, well brilliant! As for not being able to pay for fees - she may be eligible for a scholarship but if she doesn't try then you will never know!

There is nothing wrong with aiming high, as long as she will be able to handle the disappointment if she doesn't get in.

good luck!

crocodilesarevicious Mon 24-Nov-14 21:29:54

No, not if you can't afford the fees. Personally I would hesitate anyway, but then the chances of me producing a child with a talent in ballet are low!

flowery Mon 24-Nov-14 21:32:30

I would expect this to be the kind of thing a teacher would approach a parent about really, rather than the other way around.

PilesOfPlies Mon 24-Nov-14 21:34:17

Well yes, I suppose I really don't expect her to get in so hadn't sweated too much about the fee part - I was really wanting confirmation that I wasn't BU about encouraging her to reach so high. I suppose part of me (naively) thought well if she got in this year she'd get in another year with a grant sorted out - maybe I haven't thought this through.

I don't think she expects to be accepted either but I want her to know that I believe she is good enough.

PilesOfPlies Mon 24-Nov-14 21:35:34

I would expect this to be the kind of thing a teacher would approach a parent about really, rather than the other way around

Yes, me too - but dd wants to audition - just audition - and if she were to wait around waiting for that suggestion then maybe that would never happen.

PandaNot Mon 24-Nov-14 21:36:21

Go for it. She's got nothing to lose. My ds is auditioning this year and elmhurst and hammond. He knows he can only go if he gets a funded place. Could you afford it if she were offered an MDS place?

teacherwith2kids Mon 24-Nov-14 21:36:43

I would also, btw, think very, very carefully about the 'back up plan' even if she starts down the ballet road.

My DD sounds not unlike yours - 11, good dancer, dances 10-14 hours per week at a 'serious' non-vocational school and never stops dancing at home - but, quite simply, the 'non dance' education that she would get if she went down the 'full time dance school' route is not good enough to keep open the 'non dance' career / education routes she is capable of (she's very bright). To have a miniscule chance of 'making it' in ballet, she would have closed so many other doors that, for us, it isn't worth it.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 24-Nov-14 21:39:18

Hello OP

I think its a fine line tbh.
When they are talented imo you encourage and nurture to hope they have confidence to try for the things they want in life.
Once they have this confidence they will probably suggest it themselves.
If she wants to audition I think you should encourage her, but let it come from her rather than you.
As for affording the fees there are scholarships and bursaries?

My dd is the same with music and a little thing like not being able to afford fees didn't put us off and hers are likely to be £30+ k per annum. If like your dd she passes the audition.

If you don't mind me saying, what is the point of auditioning if you and she don't think she will get in? You both need to believe and the video audition is a big deal.

teacherwith2kids Mon 24-Nov-14 21:43:55

Is the teacher approachable? ould youm, ratgher than saying 'DD wants to audition, can you help her?', go in with 'How do you think DD is getting on? Is she vocational school material? If so, do you think she would be capable of auditioning this year?'. Any good teacher will be honest if there really is NO chance, and if there is some chance then the teacher will be able to guide you through the process.

shopalot Mon 24-Nov-14 21:44:21

I have pm's you.

shopalot Mon 24-Nov-14 21:46:38

Pm'd you!!!!

BeanieBabe Mon 24-Nov-14 21:48:12

If she isn't already doing Scottish Ballet's associate scheme then she should perhaps think about auditioning for that before RBS or even auditioning for a RBS weekly associate class (I think there may be one in Newcastle)

Or, if you're in Scotland, how about the Dance School for Scotland for S1 entry? Depending on where you live she may have to be a weekly boarder - a few girls that I know of have really flourished there

Galaxymum Mon 24-Nov-14 21:56:08

I would definitely let your daughter audition. For one, the experience will be invaluable. The RBS take the very best - but it isn't unachievable. I had two friends from my dancing school who gained places (I'm in the North West). Our dancing teacher believed in having a go. I had other friends who went to stage school or later on to drama school.

My mum refused to let me try although I desperately wanted to attend theatre or drama school. Until she died a couple of years ago there was this issue that was always there - a what if.

You can look into scholarships and how the fees are organised. If they think she is talented enough, they will help you source funding.

Don't be the parent who stops her dream. If you don't go for your dream you never know what could have been.

hels71 Mon 24-Nov-14 22:05:17

From the RBS website:
Fees and financial assistance for full time courses

No potential student should be deterred from applying to The Royal Ballet School due to lack of financial means. Over 90% of students are supported financially in some form with over 25% paying no fees at all.

Students who meet the criteria can access financial support through the Music and Dance Scheme. For those students who don’t meet the Music & Dance Scheme criteria, a limited number of scholarships and bursaries are available.

deste Mon 24-Nov-14 22:22:11

I think you also try for the Dance School of Scotland because there would be no fees. Someone mentioned education above and that would be my only concern. My DD went to a very high achieving school and I didn't think she would handle the school side.

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