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AIBU?

My neighbour is harrassing me and said racial comments to me.

126 replies

Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 22:52

She called me a black b n said I should be grateful to get a housing association flat in this country
She admitted to stealing my letters n parcel
She constantly bangs on her floor when my tv is on 15/100 volume so not loud she just wants silence when she is ready to go bed, She stomps around all day but when she's ready to go sleep I MUST be quite
She walks around in boots
She is constantly knocking on my door to scream at me about something
Example yesterday she left a note on my car about my "bad parking" then knocked on my door to start arguing with me about it with her boyfriend
I got in at 3am yesterday n turn on my tv so she started banging on my floor then because I didn't turn my tv off she came n banged on my door which I just shouted for her to * off through the door
She leaves her cigs on my window seal

I have reported her to HA since Sept
I recently reported her to police on Fri they still haven't come round.
I feel I'm going to hurt her seriously she is winding me up, she is obsessed with me it's not even normal
Will the police even do anything?

She tried to threaten the police n HA to me but I do nothing to her. She thinks my tv is on to piss her off, her problem is she does things to purposely upset me so she thinks I'm doing stuff to annoy her which I'm really not, I'm just living my life.

I'm watching tv now and I have my earplugs in and I can still hear her banging around/stomping just because my tv is on

What can I do about this? I'm pregnant n it's very stressful for me
I'm not moving cos I'm not the problem
She also had issues with the last tenant who was also black, she claimed he was harrassing her and played on the fact he had mental health issues to bully him.
She also accused me of having mental health issues which I have no history of. Everyone who has an issue with her is "mental"
Not everyone can move just cos of her so I'm not leaving. I want her evicted and I'm fuming she's been stealing my mail I accused the postman of doing it!

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ilikebaking · 23/11/2014 23:05

Log everything. Dates times and evidence if you can. Think recording on your phone.
Then complain, call, etc etc.
Citizens advice may help.
She sounds awful.

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treesntrees · 23/11/2014 23:08

So you got in at three a.m and turned your t.v on. Why didn't you just go straight to bed. I'm guessing six of one and half a dozen of the other here.

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Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 23:11

@trees because I didn't want to go bed that's why. I'm a 22yr old girl I'm allowed to watch tv in my flat if I want too.

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Oldraver · 23/11/2014 23:11

So you got in at three a.m and turned your t.v on. Why didn't you just go straight to bed. I'm guessing six of one and half a dozen of the other here.

WTF ? Why should she. OP may work odd shifts and not wnat to go to bed as soon as she comes in

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Bailey101 · 23/11/2014 23:13

She sounds like a cow, but if she knows that your tv is being turned on at 3 in the morning, then it's too loud. I had noisy neighbours and its soul destroying and one if the big problems was the very loud tv.

If you believe she's stealing your mail, then inform the police and Royal Mail and keep a log of the threatening behaviour.

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becominglessofalurker · 23/11/2014 23:19

Log everything in writing, keep a diary. Try to record the sound of her banging. When she comes to ur door don't get provoked, just stay silent and video her. Think EVIDENCE, EVIDENCE, EVIDENCE!!!

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Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 23:22

tbh the walls are very thin but my tv isn't ever loud. she can probably hear it but nobody else seems to be affected by it.
This problem started when I asked her to not wear boots in her flat as its very noisy for me down here and that's when she replied with the grateful country comment and told me I'm "noise sensitive"
So she isn't noise sensitive now?
Because she's been here ten odd years she thinks she owns this place and what she says goes. She's nothing but a bully and the last guy she drove him insane like literally he got sectioned

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Bailey101 · 23/11/2014 23:27

If she's having to listen to your tv, you can't really complain about her wearing shoes indoors - being considerate about noise goes both ways.

Like others have said, log all the abusive behaviour and infirm the police and housing association.

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MyOwnJungle · 23/11/2014 23:30

log everything, but stop watching tv at three am, because if your neighbour says you've had the tv on at 3am it is as a pp said going to look like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

I wouldn't put the tv on at 3am and I wouldn't go ahead and accuse the post man of stealing my mail either. My walls are very very very thin and I can hear my next door neighbour's dog snoring and I can hear their fekking wind chimes too. They can probably hear me typing on my laptop here. The walls are very thin......

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NeedABumChangeNotANameChange · 23/11/2014 23:32

Your tv is loud enough that you can hear it through your ear plugs?

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Staywithme · 23/11/2014 23:35

Did I misunderstand or do you mean you have earplugs in to drown out the noise she's making AND your watching TV?

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Staywithme · 23/11/2014 23:36

Xpost Needa Smile

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Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 23:49

I mean I was watching tv, she then started banging. I put my earplugs in now I'm on my laptop. I can barely hear the tv with my earplugs on its only on for the light I'm not paying attention to it now

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LaurieFairyCake · 23/11/2014 23:52

Is there any chance you mean headphones (in your ear) rather than ear plugs?

Because then it would make sense you were listening to the tv through your headphones.

Having the tv on but wearing earplugs obviously means it's louder to others

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Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 23:54

You guys don't get it. There was NO problem until I asked her about her boots. I was here for 6 weeks before I asked about her boots only now she has an issue with my tv? I have the same volume on my tv always she is just trying to make an issue because I said she was noisy
And I offered her a solution of leaving me a note when she feels its to loud but no she just stomps around n bangs on the spot instead.
She's a 40 something year old woman with a ten year old child, I'm a 22yr old girl who listens to music through headphones and never has party's which most people my age do!

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Tammy1212 · 23/11/2014 23:54

No earplugs not headphones

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minipie · 23/11/2014 23:58

Why would you wear earplugs when you're watching TV? Confused

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Staywithme · 24/11/2014 00:00

I think the TV is louder that you realise if you can hear it with earplugs in. If you're only using it for light then why not turn it down?

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hashtagwhatever · 24/11/2014 00:03

If you're not actually watching the tv. Just turn the volume down?. What are the ear plugs for?

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ilovesooty · 24/11/2014 00:10

Why would you have the TV on for the light?

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minipie · 24/11/2014 00:15

If the TV is only for the light then put it on mute surely? Or switch the room light on instead. Otherwise you're creating noise for no reason?

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HarveySchlumpfenburger · 24/11/2014 00:17

If you can hear the TV with earplugs in, then that is too loud at 3am. If you only want it for the light, turn the sound off completely.

She might be a problem neighbour, and she shouldn't have said what she did, but you are coming out of this situation just as badly. If you want the people to take you seriously then I think you need to grow up and stop antagonising her because no one is going o take you sriously otherwise.

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Bailey101 · 24/11/2014 00:38

She was wrong to be racist, but I don't see what else is unreasonable. She's right in saying that you're lucky to have a housing association home - they're in huge demand and anyone who has a secure and affordable home should be very grateful - and if your tv is so loud that she knows it being turned on at 3 am then I can understand why she's banging the floor.

I don't believe that she caused the last tenant to be sectioned and it doesn't sound likely that she admitted to stealing your post. However it does sound like you wanted to use your tv to punish her for stomping and now it's all kicking off.

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Bailey101 · 24/11/2014 00:40

And as for leaving you a note when you're being loud, if I had a choice between getting dressed and going out of my home in the early hours or banging on the floor, I would bang the hell out of that floor!

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Tammy1212 · 24/11/2014 00:43

No I don't need to "grow up"
I'm not the problem here and you cannot tell me I am. I'm not the older woman here she is reacting like a bully. She bullied the last guy now she's bullying me. He was black and so am I.
The fact she said the racist comments shows what her REAL issue is!
IM NOT WATCHING TV well I wasn't because she was banging around I am now again because she stopped.
Earplugs are to drown HER NOISE her stomping
It's like you're all saying I should just turn off my tv when SHE is ready to go bed but during the day/evening it's okay for her to disturb me by stomping around in boots what about if I want to go bed at 6pm one day? Should I then bang on my ceiling at her stomping and her tv on?

Anyway thanks for the useful answers. I'm going to see the police tomorrow about it.

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