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aibu to be upset by my mam about xmas day

(10 Posts)
becominglessofalurker Sun 23-Nov-14 10:36:11

My parents lived abroad for many years so since meeting my now DH I have not spent Xmas day with them since 2006. This was due to finances nd not being able to get a substantial enough time off work at that time of yr to justify the cost. The tickets would have been over £300 each.
Due to this it has always been agreed that the first Xmas they r back in the UK we would spend it with them rather than the IL's. It also happens to be lo's first Xmas.
My dad retired at the beginning of the yr nd they moved back to the UK, shipping all their furniture nd other belongings back here too.
Anyway my mother, who I don't have a great relationship with at the best of times, tells me out of the blue that she still hasn't unpacked enough boxes nd the house won't be ready for Xmas so me, DH nd 1st grandchild should just go to PIL.
I have seen the house nd yes there are a few boxes here nd there but the kitchen is completely clear as is the dining room table.
AIBU to feel a little rejected?

fatowl Sun 23-Nov-14 11:30:25

Could they not come to you?

dustarr73 Sun 23-Nov-14 11:40:55

Take them at their word and go to your pils here you are actually wanted.I wouldnt bother asking them to come to you.Look at it as a very lucky escape.

ResIpsaLoquitur Sun 23-Nov-14 11:41:44

Can't they come to you?

Fishingforadvice Sun 23-Nov-14 11:41:53

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ResIpsaLoquitur Sun 23-Nov-14 11:42:27

Sorry, didn't see fatowl's near identical post. blush

redexpat Sun 23-Nov-14 11:42:34

Sounds like she doesnt want to host.

Timeforabiscuit Sun 23-Nov-14 11:46:07

Take them at their word and go to your pil if that is what you'd like to do.

Having been there, the rejection smarts like hell - my DM came up with increasingly implausible reasons why we couldn't visit - but she's a grown up who can make her own choices.

So have a cry, have a rant and then make plans of your own - you'll have a fantastic family Christmas with your little one!

simbacatlivesagain Sun 23-Nov-14 12:33:03

Juts host yourself. Invite both sides- they can then come or not. Saves setting any precedent for future years (we do this family 1 year, the other the next etc). Much nicer for children to be in their own home where they can spread out with their own toys (in future years). Much less stressful I think to be a host rather than a guest

clam Sun 23-Nov-14 12:51:38

How recently did they move back? It could be that she's tired and stressed (exacerbated by age or personality) and can't face hosting Christmas in the way she'd like.
So, as others have said, why not host them at yours?

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