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Strangers touching my baby!

(111 Posts)
Reddottys12 Sat 22-Nov-14 21:00:44

Why do complete strangers think it's ok to come up to me in the street and touch my baby? It's always on the face or hands and he eats his hands constantly so goodness knows the germs he's picking up.

Today, someone I've met only once before decided she must hold my 4 month old and then constantly kissed his head. This really annoyed me and i feel really crossed some sort of boundary. She's a stranger to me and my son and I feel kisses are reserved for family and good friends!

What do I say or do when this happens and not sound like a cow or a paranoid mother?

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Sat 22-Nov-14 21:03:09

Well why did you let her hold him? She felt she "must" but you're in charge. Learn to say no. You can't dress it up. It's blunt and some people are confused and upset by it...I understand it...but many don't.

Accept that you're the way you are, they're the way they are...and unless you want to spend however long being angry and upset...learn to refuse them their thrill.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 22-Nov-14 21:03:22

I quite like seeing people go all gooey over DS and it makes me smile when I see them wanting to give him cuddles and the like grin

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Nov-14 21:03:25

I don't think you can avoid sounding like a cow or a paranoid mother.

There's another massive thread on the front page about this nonsense.

You might want to read that.

SunshineOutdoors Sat 22-Nov-14 21:06:01

I think that when your baby isn't a baby anymore, you're probably going to find yourself wanting to do the same thing to other people's babies.

Reddottys12 Sat 22-Nov-14 21:06:15

Will do! Thanks

CromerSutra Sat 22-Nov-14 21:07:25

Sorry OP, I just don't feel like that at all. I loved it when people made a fuss of Dd. I love babies but would still never insist I hold someone else's. I'd wait and see if they offered and I think people do need to be sensitive to that, especially with new mums.

PrettyPictures92 Sun 23-Nov-14 11:54:58

My ds has the curlyest hair you've ever seen, right from when he was a baby everyone comes up and strokes it/comments on it/tells him how gorgeous his hair is. He's 3 now and I still get random strangers stopping and doing it as we pass. I once cut his curls off cause he needed a hair cut and he cried his eyes out, and everyone who knew him said how sad it was he didn't have them anymore. They've grown back again now and he's happy.

Point being, I don't mind. The only time I have minded is when one stranger told me he looked like a girl and I was a cruel mother to not cut his hair (his hair isn't long btw, it still sits on top of his head and doesn't come down to his shoulders or anything). He's touched frequently and I don't see a problem with it, he seems to like the attention too grin

ChimesAndCarols Sun 23-Nov-14 12:17:10

Just do this: grin grin Get away - mine. All mine [grin grin....... whilst laughing maniacally.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 23-Nov-14 12:18:11

Not another one!

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Sun 23-Nov-14 12:21:27

Buy a big bubble

OraProNobis Sun 23-Nov-14 12:24:03

Really? Again? Really?

emotionsecho Sun 23-Nov-14 12:26:07

This is getting really tiresome.

Marylou62 Sun 23-Nov-14 12:33:50

Being in childcare nearly all my life....and having a massive interest in babies, having 3 myself, nannying for 30+ years...2 sets of adorable identical twins, and looking after plenty of babies, I had only ever heard of this 'problem' since I joined MN...I worked for a while in kids soft play recently and it did make me think about asking for a cuddle!...only one Mum refused me outright...and I did only ask cos bigger child was playing up so thought I could help...I genuinely think it is a new idea...to not let 'strangers' touch your baby...I remember at a party, my DS taken from me, passed around the room and cuddled by EVERYONE!...I didn't get him back for ages...fine by me...But your baby, your rules...but I don't think many, especially older ladies, think they are unreasonable....like me, they probably don't realize its not the done thing nowadays, swooping over to coo and caress a newborn head....and hopefully get a cuddle.

DizzyCow63 Sun 23-Nov-14 12:35:49

I am disappointed if strangers don't remark on what a beautiful baby DS2 is and make a fuss of him! wink

We were in the waiting room of the local children's hospital last week and a little boy of 6 kept looking over and smiling at DS2 (16 wks). I took him over so he could see him and let him hold him. His mum was so pleased as she said he is desperate for a sibling and she said it had totally made his day. Did DS2 no harm at all, he loved the attention, and what's the harm in spreading a little happiness.

Nancy66 Sun 23-Nov-14 12:36:20

your kid will end up eating dirt off the floor.

A stranger stroking his cheek or hand won't kill him

TychosNose Sun 23-Nov-14 12:39:31

Yanbu but not many agree with us.

You either put up with people touching your baby or put. Up with people thinking you're a bitch for not letting them.

LovleyRitaMeterMaid Sun 23-Nov-14 12:43:57

Yabu. Babies bring a lot of joy to people.

Wait until he's 4 and everyone is ignoring him.

GloopyGhoul Sun 23-Nov-14 12:52:46

I used to work in a pub...parents never seemed to mind me 'borrowing' their baby for a bit if it meant they got to enjoy five or ten minutes of uninterrupted eating of hot food!

Same when my daughter was a baby. If somebody wanted a cuddle, and it meant I got to actually drink my tea before it went cold, I had to restrain myself from snogging them. grin

MrsGoslingWannabe Sun 23-Nov-14 12:55:13

You have to remember some of these people may very lonely and hardy get any physical affection like a hug. Cuddling a baby can be wonderfully therapeutic.

Frusso Sun 23-Nov-14 12:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack Sun 23-Nov-14 12:58:47

YANBU. Luckily for me DD3 is as anti-social as her mummy, and screams if anyone other than me or DP tries to touch her.

ghostspirit Sun 23-Nov-14 12:59:57

for me it depends on whos touching my baby. if you got a fag hanging of your lip or in your hand. i dont want you near my baby. also if you have have yellow fingers from holding so many fags i dont want them on my baby either.

actually i think thats it other than that i dont think i would mind

Mamab33 Sun 23-Nov-14 13:07:20

Or stinking of perfume or aftershave. Hate getting a baby back stinking of someone's overpowering fragrance!

jendot2 Sun 23-Nov-14 19:30:21

Ohh no was it me!!
I am forever stealing babies for cuddles and kisses...I can't help myself! Babies are divine and meant to be snuggled.
Sorry to any mumsnetters I have upset

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