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To get fed up of friends constantly going on about how rough their schools were?

(30 Posts)
CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 19:25:57

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AgentZigzag Sat 22-Nov-14 19:32:19

I had my first pint at 3 YO and started smoking at 5, they were late starters if they waited until they got to school.

Timetochangeisnow Sat 22-Nov-14 19:34:20

In my school it was common for girls to have sex at 13 and pregnant by 16. Out of about 120 of us I think only about 30 of us didn't have children by 18. And most of the boys did drugs, was really common and by sixth form most of them were high most days.
I never actually talk about it and comparing would be silly but am glad this thread has given me the opportunity to talk about it wink

CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 19:55:23

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aermingers Sat 22-Nov-14 19:58:17

I can't really see the problem. They're talking about a shared experience, isn't that what friends do?

FoxgloveFairy Sat 22-Nov-14 20:02:01

First pint at three? Ha! Beginner! I was right onto the gin which I often enjoyed with a huge joint with when I was 12 months old! 3? I was running a stolen goods syndicate at that age. You wouldn't believe the black market trading of toys outside nurseries.

CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 20:02:27

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Blueteas Sat 22-Nov-14 20:05:26

I can only imagine talking about it at length if I encountered an old schoolmate I hadn't seen for decades, and we were in the company of genteelly-educated peers, or something, and mostly probably for laughs.

But yes, absolutely, growing up poor and going to the kind of school where there was no expectation of exam success or any form of tertiary education, where more girls dropped out pregnant than went to university, and where violence was commonplace, has had an impact on my adult life - why wouldn't it?

Passmethecrisps Sat 22-Nov-14 20:05:48

I suspect people do it in a kind of "see, I've been to the school of hard knocks and see how well I've done"

You will find very few who will talk about their lovely supportive teachers, encouraging and nurturing teachers and charming classmates.

Passmethecrisps Sat 22-Nov-14 20:06:35

Woops. Swap the first teacher for parent.

I made that mistake because I went to a dead hard school

RabbitSaysWoof Sat 22-Nov-14 20:07:48

I had an ex like this, we saw he's school friends all the time, they were ordinary I think trumping up their (long gone) school days made them feel less ordinary. I thought it was boring and made them seem sad.

RabbitSaysWoof Sat 22-Nov-14 20:11:27

Actually crisps is probably on to something 'look how I've done despite bad schooling'.

meadowquark Sat 22-Nov-14 20:22:34

Is it the same way mums talk about their giving birth experiences? Everyone's competing how horrible, long etc. their's was! Mine was more horrible than anyone else's, but I like to be quiet on that one.
Some people just like talking!!

CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 20:27:17

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revealall Sat 22-Nov-14 20:34:28

Schools really were dodgy back in the 70's and 80's though. I think people talk about it because it was fairly shocking.

CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 20:39:02

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Blueteas Sat 22-Nov-14 20:46:43

I think this thread features some quite sheltered people. There's nothing 'abnormal' about having gone to an extremely rough school, and nothing abnormal about the other people who went to mine with me. We reflected the social makeup of the poor area where the school was, with a high crime rate, low aspirations, poverty, generations of unemployment after a lot of manual jobs vanished when two big multinationals pulled out of the city in the 70s. The school was close to a big city dump with a big halting site alongside, and there were travellers at the school and a lot of associated violence between settled kids and travellers, and family feuds sometimes between travellers, though they all left very young.

I have only a single school friend I stay in touch with - I'm not from the UK, and have lived away from my home country for over 20 years - but from my parents I know that the guy I walked up for confirmation with, who was a hood even then, very good-looking and charismatic, is in prison for murder, and a girl I sat next to in maths is in prison for something drug-related and GBH. Which us hardly surprising as her father and uncle were the local dealers, and both served time when she was at school.

I'm unusual in that I got out. That makes me lucky, rather than anything. What I'm trying to say is that not everyone's rough school reminiscences are efforts to establish street cred. Some people just went to schools like that.

Passmethecrisps Sat 22-Nov-14 20:47:20

I think sometimes the stories are true and they just make for good stories.

Other times it is a case of "I know i am fairly middle of the road but because I started for a more difficult place I have done better"

I am a teacher and I know kids now tell stories of their current schooling which are either massive exaggerations or just not true. It is about perception.

For what it is worth my schooling was charmed!

MrsWedgeAntilles Sat 22-Nov-14 20:49:27

Are they taking the rip out of you OP? I went to a fairly rough school, not metal detector rough but not the nicest. Our privately educated peers at uni seemed to come with the preconception that we'd survived absolute anarchy and chaos. It was kind of funny to pull their legs and play up to it.

TheAwfulDaughter Sat 22-Nov-14 20:51:29

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CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 20:54:43

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motherofmonster Sat 22-Nov-14 20:57:50

I honestly thought my school was a dump and then mentioned in passing to a friend about hating doing croquet lessons on the main lawn and she nearly wet her knickers laughing.
in in no way posh, just the area we were in at the time grin

Bowchickawowow Sat 22-Nov-14 21:14:14

I probably do this sometimes. I think it is possibly because I went to university and now have a professional job unlike many people I went to school with / lived around and I feel like people might not see where I "come from" - not that it makes any difference to who I am now in one way - but then in another I suppose it does (not that I have come that far - still live in a HA flat!)
I don't know how to explain it. I think you find it in people that might have what you would call "rough" backgrounds and have improved their lot - it's about the assumptions we all make I suppose!

Passmethecrisps Sat 22-Nov-14 21:18:18

Seriously, I think it does often come down to self-esteem.

I had a wonderful schooling but was brought up very poor financially. I also find myself getting into a game of poverty bingo if the situation goes that way.

Look at the best-sellers in supermarkets - people love a true life struggle. Human nature.

Still annoying though grin

CovetingAFiat500 Sat 22-Nov-14 21:21:05

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