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To allows son to cycle around locally

(9 Posts)
Ebony69 Sat 22-Nov-14 16:34:22

I have a 14 year old DS and a fairly anxious DH. DS goes to football training twice a week which is around a mile away. Whilst I'm happy for him to ride my bike there ( he grew out if his and I only use mine for exercise around the park) DH has forbidden him to do so because he's afraid that DS will be injured or worse in the roads. We do live in London with its busy streets but most of his journey would be on the back streets. DS very much wants to ride (as his friends do) and I am refusing to give in to DH's neurosis. DH feels that he has every right to impose his wishes on DS. AIBU?

Ebony69 Sat 22-Nov-14 16:41:00

Sorry, this is not v clear. AIBU to allow DS to ride regardless and get caught up in the dispute between DH and me?

LeopardInABobbleHat Sat 22-Nov-14 16:45:10

YANBU. If the bike is a suitable size for him, he wears a helmet and has adequate lights and knows how to cycle safely then it's limiting a freedom that does have some risk, but so would walking.

ilovesooty Sat 22-Nov-14 16:46:17

I think your husband is being unreasonable and all 3 of you need to discuss it, otherwise you'll be undermining him. I don't see why he gets to impose his wishes without your input though.

Oldmanriver Sat 22-Nov-14 20:15:47

Our ten and twelve year old daughters cycle to school every day (apart from when the younger one has to transport her cello-I'm still working on solving that one). It's all on quieter roads with a couple of main road crossings. So I'd say YANBU.

Ebony69 Sat 22-Nov-14 23:02:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wobblyweebles Sun 23-Nov-14 00:18:52

I used to ride around London. If they're all quiet back streets then fine, but I wouldn't want him riding along any major roads.

AgentZigzag Sun 23-Nov-14 00:51:43

The way you talk about how your DH feels gives the impression that you don't take him very seriously.

To me, you saying the legitimate concerns he has when weighing up the risks involved in his darling son out cycling alone in London are caused by a some kind of mental impairment (for want of a better word). That it's his 'neurosis' causing him to over worry about his son rather than him actually having a point.

I don't think he's right to outright ban your DS, but there are ways of allaying your DHs fears without brushing him off as some kind of over dramatic drama llama.

Surely you wouldn't just let your DS cycle off into the night without setting up any kind of safeguards before he went would you? Like getting him to ring you when he gets there and ring you before he leaves to come home etc. Maybe there are things that would put your DHs mind more at ease about the difficult move from knowing where they are all the time as young children to off doing their own thing with reprobates their mates.

We live in a rural-ish area and have been trying to get our heads round 14 YO DD1 going out to meet up with her mates <dramatic music> after dark, and even though I don't feel comfortable with it I know it has to happen and I try to make it so we're as comfortable as we can be with it at the same time as DD taking responsibility for answering her fucking phone when I ring keeping in touch with us.

It's scary shit, cut him some slack.

PurpleSwift Sun 23-Nov-14 01:09:08

At 14 I don't think Yabu

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