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To wear black to a wedding

(46 Posts)
brotherhoodofspam Fri 21-Nov-14 16:53:46

Friend getting married in a week, it's an evening wedding and party after, rather than formal reception (most people just think they're coming to a party and don't know the wedding's happeninggrin ). My only party type dress is black (with lace etc). Do people mind you wearing black these days, especially to an evening do? I could ask the bride but she's got enough to think about and would probably just say it's fine even if she didn't really think so. So I was hoping you could give me your opinions about whether this is OK or not.

Babetti Fri 21-Nov-14 17:04:22

I think someone might have worn a black and white dress to my wedding. I've worn a black 40s style dress to a family wedding. I can't imagine why anybody would mind.

Enjoy yourself and don't worry!

Hassled Fri 21-Nov-14 17:06:34

Black and white is fine. Just black - I dunno. I wouldn't. Unless you accessorise the hell out of it with some other cheery colour - that might work.

CheersMedea Fri 21-Nov-14 17:11:13

I say no.

The reason black is traditionally not acceptable at a wedding is because it is the colour of mourning. Some people are superstitious about it and regard it is a bringing bad luck to the couple. Some older people may regard it as offensive or bad manners. A lot of younger people may not care.

But like anything in that zone really, you want to avoid causing offence. And that doesn't just mean to the couple but also their parents, grandparents and anyone else who is either emotionally invested or has paid for it!

(Ignoring the poppies) can you image the queen going to a wedding dressed like this: i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/11/09/article-0-02694979000005DC-935_468x618.jpg

Nope. Because it's depressing!

NakedFamilyFightClub Fri 21-Nov-14 17:11:18

I think it's fine if it's brightened up with accessories and as long as you don't wear a tiny black hat with a veil and weep into a white hankie during the vows wink

Babetti Fri 21-Nov-14 17:14:26

Hassled - you're right, accessories are important. I had bright shoes, bag and hair accessories to go with the black dress.

As an aside, one of my guests had a dress that was quite similar to the bridesmaids but she looked great and had made an effort to get dressed up so really wasn't a big deal. The person who arrived to a relatively formal wedding in jeans did annoy me a bit.

brotherhoodofspam Fri 21-Nov-14 17:23:23

It's black rather than black and white. I could go shopping tomorrow though the chances of finding something that fits and suits me are slim (because I'm not!)

Twinklestein Fri 21-Nov-14 17:27:12

It's absolutely fine, just add some colour. A stole in say a pinky red would really add colour, with complementary accessories.

Twinklestein Fri 21-Nov-14 17:28:00

Jeans, no.

toldmywrath Fri 21-Nov-14 17:30:19

I think it would be ok as long as you wear bright accessories and a cream jacket,say. When I got married one of the (female) guests wore a long white dress
. That was definitely not ok in my book!

canweseethebunnies Fri 21-Nov-14 17:36:23

Just a heads up, this is relationships, not AIBU. Not that I mind, just thought you might have made a mistake. Unless you posted here to avoid an unnecessary flaming?

canweseethebunnies Fri 21-Nov-14 17:37:49

Sorry, there was supposed to be a smile at the end!

brotherhoodofspam Fri 21-Nov-14 17:38:14

Good point about the flaming but you're right, I have posted in the wrong bit, will try to get out moved.

ShakeYourTailFeathers Fri 21-Nov-14 17:41:12

our wedding was a 'party' that was actually a wedding, much to the surprise of all the guests...

both our mothers wore black, with sparkly bits (!) and they had a good laugh about it on video

If she's organizing a surprise wedding she'll just be pleased everyone is there grin

AmysTiara Fri 21-Nov-14 17:44:19

It sounds fine. I was at a wedding last week and loads of guests were in black

handfulofcottonbuds Fri 21-Nov-14 18:13:12

My DM wore a black and white dress and looked beautiful.

My stbxMIL however went out of her way to find and wear a dress in the same colour as the bridesmaids - that made me angry but it just showed her nasty, controlling side.

I wouldn't personally wear a black dress to a wedding though.

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 21-Nov-14 19:38:30

Moved to AIBU as started in R'ships - hope you have a good time.

NB on a personal note, I don't mind black to a wedding as long as there is some colour somewhere.
What I do object to is wearing white to a wedding. In March. Yes DH's old PA I am looking at you.

motherofmonster Fri 21-Nov-14 19:42:57

Black is fine if you add another colour in.
I went to a wedding where the best mans girlfriend wore a floor length white dress, sweetheart necked dress with crystals on it, and a small white hat with lace veil on it..that was confused

UngratefulMoo Fri 21-Nov-14 19:43:14

Def add some colour - even a bright scarf or something.

ninetynineonehundred Fri 21-Nov-14 19:44:23

I wore a black dress to my friends wedding this year. Just had baby and nothing else fitted and no money for something new.
My friend was pleased I was there and had travelled several hours with a newborn just to be with them.
Your friend wants you there, not your dress smile
Enjoy and you will look lovely.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 21-Nov-14 19:49:36

I wouldn't just wear black.

movingtoourwillow Fri 21-Nov-14 20:01:42

I would normally say of course you can't wear black to a wedding, but if it's an evening do that most people are attending unaware of the wedding (how exciting, I'd love to go to a surprise wedding!) then surely there will be lots of others wearing black!

YellowTulips Fri 21-Nov-14 20:09:00

At a day do i would say no, unless highly accessorised with colour.

For an evening do I think it's fine.

cluecu Fri 21-Nov-14 20:13:09

people wore black to my wedding. They looked fab, had a great time....I'm not sure of the point in the day that I was supposed to be angered by it. I wasn't anyway smile

LovleyRitaMeterMaid Fri 21-Nov-14 20:13:47

I'd normally say no no no but it's a bit different to your traditional wedding so you would get away with it.

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