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To be infuriated with a child in dd class keep filling her head with uter rubbish?

(36 Posts)
Proudtobeme Fri 21-Nov-14 13:10:41

I'm new here so sorry in advance if I have posted incorrectly. Dd is year 3 and aged 7 and there is 1 particular child that always seems to manage to put stupid ideas into Dd head, actually it's all the other child's heads to. Child X's mother is intolerable even in small doses, I and several other mothers at school avoid her at all costs. Spoke to her once in reception year and have not made the same mistake again. There seems to be something nearly every week, I end up telling Dd that's not quite right and so on and poor dd ends up either confused or asking if child X is lying. The latest bit of rubbish is telling dd that because there renting out their current home as of next week as they've bought a bigger much better one that anybody that doesn't have 1 or more homes is poor and people that rent houses are very poor. Now dd is worrying that she's poor and not good enough for child X's standards Told dd that this was incorrect and was not allowed to repeat that to anyone. Explained that everybody's situation is different and doesn't make you poor or rich/good or bad person. Tried using dh and my car as an example as we lease them and get new every couple of years instead of buying them and keeping them for a long time, which made it worse as started worrying what child X would say if she found out. Told dd she is warm, feed, has clothes and shoes in the correct size, toys to play with, a roof over her head and 2 parents that love her and that's all that matters. What's really infuriating about this is we live in middle class area so my dc probably have more than a lot of other kids, so can't have dd repeating things like that. Money doesn't make a person happier or better than anybody else (admittedly might make some things easier) How can I explain this to dd, I'm lost on this one. Thank you in advance for your advice.

bakingtins Fri 21-Nov-14 13:18:40

Have a word with the teacher? Perhaps this sort of thing could be redressed at school via discussion or stories? Do some things with DD to help her understand what poverty is really about (and how comparatively fortunate she is) local food banks need Christmas donations, do a shoe box for Christmas if you can find one still collecting, find out about children in another country....

Hakluyt Fri 21-Nov-14 13:21:00

She sounds like David Cameron......

5Foot5 Fri 21-Nov-14 13:21:32

Well if it wasn't this child it would be another one, regardless of what you think of this child's mother.

Children often come home and repeat weird things they have been told by the others. Just keep doing what you are doing and giving her the correct version as you see it.

Don't honestly see what "living in a middle class area" as to do with it.

NancyJones Fri 21-Nov-14 13:23:44

You lease you DH? shock wink

McSqueezy Fri 21-Nov-14 13:32:38

Welcome to the real world. This child is one of many who will tell your daughter things you may not want her to hear.

You're the parent, so correct her and reassure her. They are children.

saoirse31 Fri 21-Nov-14 13:35:48

complete over reaction. just tell u r dd ur views. do u think she'll alwaY's socialise with people who agree with u?

AgentAlice Fri 21-Nov-14 13:46:49

There is a child like this in DD's class, also year 3. She spouts utter rubbish, DD tells me and we have a bit of a talk about it and a laugh at how ridiculous the latest fact is. Often I will be like 'ah, another Sally-ism' (she is not called Sally obvs). DD now questions anything that this girl says.

Summerisle1 Fri 21-Nov-14 13:50:30

There's always a child, in every class, who spouts rubbish. You need to tell your dd that she doesn't have to believe in every preposterous statement that this child makes. Just give her the correct version.

TessDurbeyfield Fri 21-Nov-14 13:52:36

grin nancyjones, sounds like a fab idea. Is there an internet site for this kind of thing?

Proudtobeme Fri 21-Nov-14 14:03:44

Sorry dh car is leased lol. Sorry about mentioning middle class area, was just trying to express in the eyes of some people my dd is quite privileged I guess, not that dd is aware of this and that's the way I would like it to stay for now. So wouldn't want dd at ballet class or brownies spouting that she's really poor, it inappropriate and could be taken the wrong way. I do get dc to choose food from supermarket which we take to a food Bank once a month or so. Guess I want dd not to think that being rich or poor doesn't make you a good or bad, happy or miserable.

Selinasupreme Fri 21-Nov-14 14:05:19

Kids say stuff like this all the time

WaroftheRoses Fri 21-Nov-14 14:07:15

My DD is now 12 and has been dealing with a girl like this for 5 or 6 years. It can be hard as often this girl lied about stuff to get other people onside with her and to ostracise other children (my DD included). Don't panic-she will get to the point where she can see through this girl's lies and realise how silly she is! In our case the girl is not as bright as a lot of her friends (although the family is very affluent and she wants for very little) and she desperately always wants to be the centre of attention so creates fabulous stories about her life in an attempt to divert attention from other girls. But as I said-they are all now wise to it and it has left her looking like a bit of a sad and pathetic character in their eyes. It will all iron out eventually-but girl friendships are often very complicated!

Proudtobeme Fri 21-Nov-14 14:32:30

I guess I keep doing what I'm doing and explaining to dd when a situation arises that child X's view on life are not always right or acceptable to others and hope she starts to realise this for herself.

BarbarianMum Fri 21-Nov-14 14:38:08

YAB Totally U

This child is giving your dd her first lesson in learning to think for herself, form her own opinions and value her own beliefs. Really you should thank her grin

millionsofpeaches Fri 21-Nov-14 14:46:01

I had experience of this when I was a child. Older sister of a friend down the road would always spout crap like because our parents voted liberal we wouldn't be safe if there was a war as only conservative voters would be saved. My parents just helped my sis and I to work out that she was full of it and now she is a moderately successful actress we roll our eyes quite regularly!

WorraLiberty Fri 21-Nov-14 14:50:31

Do you not just say to your DD, "Oh ignore child X, she's talking rubbish"?

Really, don't give it so much head space or your DD will start to do the same (although it sounds like she might be already).

As a PP said, you can't police the thoughts/words of everyone around her.

PlantCurtain Fri 21-Nov-14 15:02:40

Kids tell each other rubbish all the time, OP. It's no big deal as long as your kids can come to you so that you can put them right. I don't think YABU exactly but there's no need to take on so smile

Preciousbane Fri 21-Nov-14 16:40:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeopardInABobbleHat Fri 21-Nov-14 16:53:34

Tell your DD that the girl must be very unhappy if she needs to boast and look down on other people all the time but that she (your DD) shouldn't tell the girl this as that would be just as Mean as what's being said to her.

DoraGora Fri 21-Nov-14 16:59:13

Snobs aren't the worst people she'll meet in life. Show her Dr Seuss The Sneeches on uTube.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Fri 21-Nov-14 17:01:05

You are way way overthinking this.

My dd told her friends she had fairies that brought her chocolate and that at night she was a vampire.

Kids do stuff like this. It's fairly normal.

You sound way to invested in your dds conversation. Just laugh with her and tell her they her friend is funny.

Please don't tell the teacher or you will be staff room hilarity in the nicest way.

Your dd sounds sweet though.

mum9876 Fri 21-Nov-14 17:02:24

Dc say all sorts of silly things, you just have to explain the correct version. They also go through a boastful stage and it's quite likely her dm didn't say that at all. Dd has a friend who tells absolute whoppers. It's irritating but not the end of the world. It hasn't caused me to ostracise her dm in the playground. I think you're overreacting.

usualsuspect333 Fri 21-Nov-14 17:04:10

Some kids just spout rubbish, I wouldn't overthink it tbh.

I'd lose the we live in a MC area so can't possibly be poor attitude though

MajesticWhine Fri 21-Nov-14 17:07:06

Kids talk a lot of shite don't they. You're doing all the right things. Just keep reinforcing the correct version of the world. Your child will ultimately be influenced more by your values than by this child.

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