I have a friend who often texts me last minute to try and get together. So for instance last Friday just before I was about to set off with the children on the school run, I noticed a text from her saying 'do you want to go into town after dropping the kids off at school today?' I said no because I had my youngest DC with me all day and it would have been a real chore with him in tow. I suggested we went Monday instead if she could make it, because then I would be child free. She said fine. So no problem.
Then today about an hour or so ago I noticed another text from her from this morning saying 'can I pop down in an hour for coffee'? Obviously I missed it ( don't check my phone all that often), so will have text her in a bit to apologise for not replying earlier. This has happened quite a bit since we've been friends, only about 6 months, and sometimes I will just say yeah fine but more often than not I will say no can't do\make that.
My question is: am I weird for really not liking spur of the moment arrangements? My DP thinks I am bit. In his opinion I should just go with the flow, if I can. I, on the other hand, prefer to have someone say to me 'are you free later on this week or next week, for catch up/coffee /whatever'? Also, this same woman often gets in touch last minute to change arrangements too, for example if we've arranged for her to come at 2pm, she will text to say can I come at 1.30 pm instead? Which drives me mad. Is she a bit of a boundary pusher or am I just bloody strange for not liking arrangements sprung on me/changed at the last minute? Does anyone else feel like this?
Bit of addional information: I have three children, 2 of whom under 6 and one who is at home with me most of the time. I am a very introverted person, so sometimes struggle with socialising and I am also pregnant and feeling really quite down at the moment, and wanting to socialise even less than usual. She knows that I am feeling down and not great company at the minute.
So should I say something to her about not always being able/wanting to do things with her last minute or keep quiet and stop stressing about it? Because it is starting to stress me out a bit. She is a lovely woman and I don't want to hurt her feelings by saying something but I am starting to feel quite resentful about it. I often can't just drop things to see her or do something with her and I often don't want to anyway. Proper arrangements, made in advance, no problem whatsoever.
Any thoughts? Anyone else feel like this? Is it me that's out of step?
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AIBU?
To really not like last minute arrangements being sprung on me?
35 replies
allyjay · 20/11/2014 17:46
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