To kick him off the bed?

[EatShitDezza]

The child is in my bed, sneaked in while I was downstairs, and I'm ready to boot him to the floor.

He seems to lose all control of his limbs once asleep. They are over my face, in my back, over my body and just everywhere they don't need to be.

He is mumbling and grinding his teeth while his head is turned towards my ear.

He is stupidly warm, like radiator heat warm and only wearing pj shorts.

I move and he follows! It's like there's a magnet in my back and one in his foot!

So can I kick him to the floor or put up with it til he's a teen and then get pay back?

[basgetti]

YANBU. My bed is invaded most nights by a 6 year old child who is currently fast asleep with his bum sticking out so that I have a tiny strip of bed and having to balance on my side so I don't fall out. Oh and I'm nearly 36 weeks pregnant so it's extra fun

[DoughnutSelfie]

Awwww I loved cosleeping, but mine didn't do the weirdy diagonal sleep position, thank gawd.

Anyway, here's a tale to warm ye cockles, Derek:

My DH drop kicked pfb once by accident.

The baby unexpectedly arched backwards off his lap, as babies do, and the silly fellow thought to break the fall with his booted foot. Nope. Poor child described a low arc across the room. Oaken floor, too.

Oops.

[EatShitDezza]

Sorry but I laughed!

I get how that happened too, if I drop something my reaction is to put my foot out to stop it. I've drop kicked many things, not a baby though.

He's 5 next year and he likes to sneak in to my bed. I don't mind as its just me and him but the way he sleeps is horrible.

He's now doing that stick out bum thing

[BlackeyedSusan]

think yourself lucky one of mine thinks I am a mattress! and a sofy play gym

[DoJo]

I feel your pain - mine's only two but seems to quadruple in size as soon as he gets into bed. I also know, for an absolute fact, that he barely moves when in bed by himself as he slept in our room in a cot until he was about 18 months, plus he is often still in the same position when I go to bed as he went to sleep in. However, put him into a king size bed with me and he becomes a twitching, flailing, bundle of body heat who will only lie still if a part of me is trapped underneath him and seems to be composed entirely of elbows, poky little toes and snores! There is nothing like being woken (hopefully at a reasonable time) by him giving me a cuddle, kissing me and whispering 'Mummy - it's morning time. time to wake up!' and grinning like he has just had the most relaxing night's sleep ever though...

[RubMyLamp]

Whenever my DNeph sleeps over I end up with him (4) and my DDs (6 & almost 4) in bed with me. All as hot as blast furnaces. All rolling around in bed. Two sleep talk. One grinds her teeth. Last time I was in the middle of the bed with a set of feet either side of my head and my youngest asleep on my stomach.

[EatShitDezza]

He woke me up by coughing so loud this morning then had the cheek to say 'you kept me up last night mum'

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

I get this from a stealthy 7 year old, I've actually woken up with her legs under my head, no idea how she managed that one.

She moves constantly, talks, laughs and I mean proper laughs, seems attached to my back and like a breathing hot water bottle.

[BurnThisDiscoDown]

I have a very small 3 year old that takes up nearly all of a double bed, leaving me and DH teetering on opposite edges. And he follows me around the bed. And he snores! Love it when he gives me a sleepy cuddle though.

[Skylander1]

My very small three year old takes up most of our bed as well burnthis she lies starfish style and every now and again slaps me in face

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Oh DD once declared me a "Naughty Mummy" in her sleep one night, I still wonder what crime I committed.

[CallMeExhausted]

I win.

When DS was 3, during one of his midnight visits to my bed his flailing broke my nose.

I installed a Dutch door on his bedroom as soon as I could see properly again.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

for you Exhausted.

[vintagesewingmachine]

I have NEVER allowed my DCs in our bed at night, not even when they were ill or had nightmares. All that fidgeting and flailing about drives me mad. They sometimes climb in in the morning for a cuddle before heading downstairs for breakfast but if they need comforting in the night, I go and get in with them until they settle and drop off to sleep again, then go back to my own bed.