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to feel ground down by the daily ... grind?

(15 Posts)
kitnkaboodle Wed 19-Nov-14 22:17:22

That's it really - nothing majorly wrong in my life, good relationship with OH, good kids. Just fed up of working all day, then tea, supervise homework or drive to activities, clear up, sort out uniforms, etc, for tomorrow - not sitting down until 10pm every night, looking forward to maybe doing something nice like some craft project that gives me pleasure - then falling asleep on the sofa.

I know - it's life for 1,000s of people, and millons have it worse ...

but I feel down and in a rut sad Sometimes I even think I maybe shouldn't have had children if this is how it is (and they're only halfway through school)

OraProNobis Wed 19-Nov-14 22:22:38

Well - they say it gets better but I don't know. I'm past all that now and I find myself in the middle of a raging menopause with a kid who's been out of school for 6 years but still lives at home and not looking good for going anywhere any time soon! The minutiae may change but the actualité doesn't!! Unless you up sticks and spend your middle age in a new country or a motor home or in a tent in a field I guess this is it!
That wasn't much help was it? Pass the gin!

zoemaguire Wed 19-Nov-14 22:23:11

It fees like an endless hampster wheel sometimes doesn't it. Its dark and cold which doesn't help - I find the world a less relentless place if we can get home from school and sit in the garden and eat ice cream! Right now it isn't even proper light-a-fire and snuggle weather, just dreary and wet. No answers, but much sympathy!

zoemaguire Wed 19-Nov-14 22:25:08

Hampster? Eh I'm making up animals now, sorry.

RJnomore Wed 19-Nov-14 22:25:47


What do you do for you? Just you not other people?

kitnkaboodle Wed 19-Nov-14 23:37:45

RJ - I do have a 'hobby', as people on here often say enigmatically, and I go out at least one evening a week to do that, which is quite sociable. But when I get back from that there's always a pile of stuff to do. No money for breaks/treats/'pampering' tho'.

zoe - you might be right that it is particularly the time of year - when the darkness is drawing in, so you feel hemmed in. Some nights I've been known to stay up til 1/1.30 just to have some time to myself. Those are the good nights when I can stay awake beyond 10.30!

BlackeyedSusan Wed 19-Nov-14 23:50:41

hamster wheel... describes it exactly...

must get off this sodding wheel...

iamEarthymama Thu 20-Nov-14 00:16:11

I was actually crying about this last week, much to my shame and embarrassment! And I don't have children living here now, all grown up and 6 grandchildren.

For me it's the darkness; I know that I must get out my Lumie lamp and sit in front of it in the mornings.
In the spring and summer I do loads of stuff but as soon as the days get shorter I am lost.

I also succumb to every virus that passes and as I work with small children there are many, one after another. I take every supplement going and try to eat well but it's just the way I am.

Thanks for starting this, I am off to get the lamp out and ensure I take all my vitamins tomorrow.

My tip would be to plan in little treats; a walk somewhere you love every week, preferably with a cuppa and cake or a little picnic; arrange a time off swop with your partner so you can have an hour of uninterrupted crafting.

I have been out tonight and we all said that if we hadn't made the effort to meet up we would be on the sofa, far too tired to move and feeling cheated so if you can plan something like that.

DP and I are fortunate, we always have a trip to the cinema, a meal out, a day somewhere in the pipeline so there is something to look forward to.
I know it's hard with children, but can you think of something like asking friends over with their children and making pizza or ice-cream sundaes?

I sound like Pollyanna, don't i? I just wanted to say that I do understand flowers

stargirl1701 Thu 20-Nov-14 00:27:51

Earthymama, have you tried massive doses of vitamin D? 6000-8000 international units daily? I heard a fascinating documentary on R4 with some North American doctors who are advocating (and personally taking) these levels of Vit D during the winter months.

Minshu Thu 20-Nov-14 00:34:57

I feel exactly the same. I'm getting a cleaner in to do the things I never get round to, so soon I'll feel like this in a slightly cleaner house... Work is so frustrating right now, and I'm snappy with DH and DD, which is totally unfair. Should be looking forward to a few treats coming up, but can 't see past the next day's drudgery.

TheSkiingGardener Thu 20-Nov-14 06:40:54

When I feel like this I take a day off. DH goes off to football from time to time which is a weekend day of 14 hours out the house, so I do the same thing about once every 3 months. No expectations on the day, no pressure to do anything. DH does the jobs that need doing, the kids may watch more TV than average that day but they also get quality daddy time as well.

It means he understands the daily grind and I get a bit of headspace. It is so relentless with kids that it helps me reset myself.

Failedspinster Thu 20-Nov-14 07:02:50

Oh man, I totally relate. I have a 3 month old and a 2.5 year old. I'm on maternity leave ATM. I have them both all day, plus cleaning and cooking, no car. I'm breast feeding the little one every two hours, and the toddler is an extremely selective eater. My DH is out of the house 12 hours plus (he works FT with a long commute). No family nearby.

I get up before seven every day after a broken night (baby doesn't sleep through) to feed, change and dress both kids, and my husband won't be back till their bath time at six thirty. I feel like every day is like running a marathon. The baby always screams for an hour at five, just when I'm trying to work out what I can possibly cook that the toddler will eat and I can eat with him. Sadly nothing the toddler eats can be cooked ahead of time. By the time both kids are in bed (normally about eight thirty for baby to settle) I could collapse with tiredness. I then get about an hour of uninterrupted time to stare into space if I'm lucky, before I have to sleep.

Relentless is the word.

GratefulHead Thu 20-Nov-14 07:07:15

I totally understand this. I am in a very similar position and have a DS who is autistic. Only one child but he feels like four sometimes grin .

It's different for everyone but I have just made the decision to take a year out and claim Carers Allowance instead. It wasn't an easy decision as I love my job but a health condition has forced me to look long and hard at how I am living my life. Something has to give....and it can't be me as my DS needs me.

Can you book any holiday while your children are in school so at least you get some rest during the school hours?

Being on duty 24/7 is not doable forever. At some point you HAVE to take a break.

redexpat Thu 20-Nov-14 07:09:16

I saw a book recommended pn here. I read it, its changed my life for the better and now i recommend it all over mumsnet. So please get hold of how to do everything and be happy by peter jones. British, accessible and humble - in a this works for me why dont you givr it a try way.

Lovetheleaves Thu 20-Nov-14 07:40:28

I feel a bit line this aswell. Not very happy in my job at the moment and I have a lot going on. I felt insanely jealous of my sister this weekend as she stays at home. Her house was shining and she was doing all her Xmas baking. I haven't even thought about it. I actually don't think I will bake but it just feels like more pressure and I'm not keeping up.

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