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To feel terribly guilty that DD will probably never go to Disneyland?

(179 Posts)
JeremyKylesEyebrow Wed 19-Nov-14 20:09:54

I know I am BU, but have PMS and due to unforeseen financial difficulties, we're looking at a tight Christmas.

DD's best friend is going to Disneyland this spring. She has been going ON and ON about it. DD, therefore, has also been going ON and ON about it.

DD's friend has really been rubbing it in a bit. She comes in to play at our house most days (they are 6) and the Disney talk is constant. She is understandably very excited. DD went to her house one day, and friend was showing her lots of videos of the place.

DD has been full of questions. Why can't we go to Disneyland? EVERYONE ELSE has been, etc etc. I've tried to explain to her that DH and I don't have much money, that different parents like to spend money on different things, that lots of children don't go to Disneyland. And also that I didn't want to hear any more about it, and that if we do go, it will be when she is older and can appreciate it more.

Tonight she ended up in tears, saying her friend was going on about it again, that she feels jealous.

This is all pretty unusual for DD. She isn't particularly fussed on Disney as a rule.

Anyway, I have just watched one of those bastarding Disney adverts and burst into tears. Because we're poooor, and I can't take DD to Disney and waah wah.

It doesn't help that DD's bio dad (who doesn't have any interest in her and doesn't pay maintenance) has been to Disney about six times with his current g/f and her daughter (DD doesn't know this)

I know I need a slap. I don't even WANT to go myself!

Lottiedoubtie Wed 19-Nov-14 20:11:26

<<passes grip>>

It's a marketing con you KNOW that.

Arlagirl Wed 19-Nov-14 20:11:50

My children are 18 and 15. We never took them.
They have survived.

Llareggub Wed 19-Nov-14 20:14:38

I've never been. I promise you I'm not scarred by it.

My DCs are 8 and 5 and we probably won't go. I'm sure it's fun but there are either places I'd rather take them.

We went to legoland last year. DCs huge Lego fans, massively excited etc. At 3pm they asked if we could go back to our hotel (not the Lego one) because they were so excited about staying in a big hotel. Kids, eh?

ExtraVolume Wed 19-Nov-14 20:15:14

(I won't take DS ever because I thinks its a rip off and there are much better holidays to go on.)

I think you need to talk to her about jealousy. That it is a normal feeling but not something to let eat you up. That there will always be people who have things you want. BUT that she probably has things, not just material stuff but nice personality/confidence/lovely long hair/handwriting/whatever fits that other people might be jealous of. And being a good friend is being excited for someone who has something good but being a good friend is also not rubbing other people's noses in your good fortune.

LadyLuck10 Wed 19-Nov-14 20:15:28

Absolutely no reason to feel guilty. You can't go so that's that. She will survive.

Nishky Wed 19-Nov-14 20:17:39

I have never been to Canada, or America, or the Caribbean.

I am not scarred.

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered Wed 19-Nov-14 20:19:14

For goodness sake, some children won't have anything for Christmas never mind going to Disneyland, I can understand your DD getting a bit het up (with her friend going on and on about it) but for you to cry at an advert is a bit OTT surely you know that?

WestEast Wed 19-Nov-14 20:20:11

I was taken as a nine year old. My mum bought a two day pass. We went the first day but not the second cos I thought it was shit! We did art galleries instead on the second day grin

bodhranbae Wed 19-Nov-14 20:20:13

Disneyland is hell.
You are doing her a favour.

listsandbudgets Wed 19-Nov-14 20:20:50

Yes its fun but so is that park and the park has a MAJOR advantage - no long winding hour long queues and food in the cafe is better. We took DD to Euro Disney and at the end of the day asked what she thought. She said "it was alright but I hated the queues".

If we ask her 2 years down the line about her trip to Paris she does not mention Euro Disney but goes on and on about the Eiffel Tower.

In other words you don't need to worry about it save your money for other things

Mintyy Wed 19-Nov-14 20:21:21

Yabu. Going to Disneyland is not compulsory. I will never go. My children can take their children if they want to.

Teawaster Wed 19-Nov-14 20:22:20

Mine are 13 and we never went and never got asked to go. Even if they had begged I don't think I could have stuck it and DH certainly would probably have left us all by the end of it! Lots of nicer places to go, both at home and abroad and she won't be in therapy when she's older because she never got to Disney

smokinggnu Wed 19-Nov-14 20:23:10

Never been. Never taking my kids there. I would rather spend money on something less crowded and tacky.
The friend is going to be massively disappointed, nothing is going to live up to that hype.

noideawottoget Wed 19-Nov-14 20:23:53

my dc's are 15, 13, 9 and 8 and have never been out of the uk. i havent been abroad since i was 6 and am mid thirties. just cant afford it. they will live

DurhamDurham Wed 19-Nov-14 20:24:06

The way I would look at it is that more children don't go to Disneyland than do go to it. Children always compare themselves to friends who have or get more than they do, never to friends who have less.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 19-Nov-14 20:24:20

I've never been. I really wanted too as a child, but my parents never would.

Don't feel like I've missed out though.

Not everyone can afford to do these things. Don't feel bad about it easier said than done i realise

Dapplegrey Wed 19-Nov-14 20:26:27

What Mintyy says.

We never managed to take our dses to Disneyland - and when I asked them, a while back, if it was something they felt they'd missed out on, they all said 'No' - so don't worry, you won't be blighting her life forever.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 19-Nov-14 20:26:50

We've never been there and my ds's haven't suffered in the slightest, not that I'm aware of at least.

Any person who considers it the ultimate in parental holiday of desire to offer to their children is a daft bugger suffering from insecurity.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 19-Nov-14 20:27:11

We never took our DCs, later on a school trip to France DD went to Euro Disney. Yes she loved it, saved us the effort.

For your sanity, until they leave home you just have to ignore the refrain "But everyone else does!"

AnyFucker Wed 19-Nov-14 20:29:20

I never took my kids (nearly grown now) to Disney because I fucking hated the thought of it and would never do something I don't get something out of myself

They will get over it

I went as a child and the ordinary camping holidays are much much much better memories, Disney barely registers.

HedgehogsDontBite Wed 19-Nov-14 20:30:19

YABU

Disneyland is my idea of hell.

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 19-Nov-14 20:30:30

Find something cheaper and individual to her,and make a big thing of it,so she can feel she's doing something just as special as her friend.
I don't know what -apply to get tickets for her favourite tv show,theatre and seeing the Christmas lights in your nearest city,build a den in the garden thats all hers....

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