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to say in contact with ex or not to stay in contact. preg with his baby.

(10 Posts)
ghostspirit Wed 19-Nov-14 18:49:07

im 17 weeks pregnant with ex baby. I have tried to keep doors open so that he can see baby. He has said things like if she shows an interest in baby/pregnancy and supports me and does what he can to help. me and him might have a chance of getting back together. I have told him this cant happen. so then he will say he does not want to know the baby. So i leave it for a little while and dont contact him. Then i will send him an up date like i see the midwife today. then we end up talking again. He bought the baby pram and me a few maternity bits a couple weeks ago. I had already made it clear there is no me and him he said he knows. but still kept trying to kiss me hold my hand ect. so again i made it clear.

He does not contact me to see how things are going its always me that contacts him. and when i do it seems to turn into a hope of me and him being together. so im not sure if hes intrested in the baby at all really.

I told him i went hospital the other day. but they refused to see me because i forgot my book. i said im not going again. his reply was yeah you dont need them wankers your having a home birth anyway. Yet he never asked why i had to go.

Also hes not very nice to my children. he was quite horrible towards my 7 year old. so part of me is thinking should i just not bother contacting him at all just leave it to him if hes really that interested in the baby then he will make an effort to make contact himself. another part of me is thinking if you can be horrible to a 7 year old do i really want you near the baby. and also do you really want to know the baby or are you just trying to get to me

ChimesAndCarols Wed 19-Nov-14 18:54:11

I'd read your post again, OP. That should tell you all you need to know.

ghostspirit Wed 19-Nov-14 18:55:12

lol chimes i probably answered my own question hey lol

NorwaySpruce Wed 19-Nov-14 18:56:51

Well he doesn't sound like the most mature of people, but you are pregnant now, so in some respects it's out of your hands.

If he want's contact with the child, he will be granted it, and it will be easier if you're on speaking terms - but I wouldn't chase him up.

Let him contact you if he wants to.

If he has issues with letting go, you could arrange for handovers (when the baby's older) to take place with a third party.

smokinggnu Wed 19-Nov-14 18:56:56

He doesn't have any interest in the baby (perhaps it's a bit unreal to him right now). Steer clear, inform him of the birth. You don't need someone pestering you right now.

VanitasVanitatum Wed 19-Nov-14 18:57:51

Horrible to your children is really unacceptable. If he wants to the see the baby I don't think you will be able to stop him but I don't think I would be making the effort to make him stay in touch.

ghostspirit Wed 19-Nov-14 19:01:18

norwayspruce thats why i was trying to keep things friendly much better not to have any bad feeling between mother and father.

yeah i guess it could be unreal to him. maybe i could just not contact him just leave it up to him

ghostspirit Wed 19-Nov-14 19:03:08

vanitas. i would not stop him to be honest im not sure he would bother. yes that was last straw for me and him when he was horrible to my son.

Purplepoodle Wed 19-Nov-14 19:48:01

I would just text him the date of your 20wk scan if he wants to go then fine. Other than that I wouldn't initiate contact. If he contacts you I would reply in terms of the baby but not get chatty. Once you have the baby - assuming you don't want him at the birth then again text him and tell him you have had the baby and he can come at x time to see the baby.

ghostspirit Wed 19-Nov-14 19:53:33

That makes alot of sence purple kind of says this is about baby not us. smile

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