To let this get to me?

[AIBU191114]

Hi all

I'm a new mum, baby is a few weeks old. For a variety of reasons baby hasn't been able to latch on very well so have been mostly expressing with some top up feeds when needed - as midwife advised.

Admittedly it's a lot of palava expressing and then feeding but we've not really settled into a routine yet so I'm hopeful things will get easier.

The aibu is my dh has gone and bought a perfect prep machine, basically telling me we should stop expressing and go on to full formula as its a hassle - I want to breastfeed my baby and it's not a hassle for him and I'm not complaining, yes I am tired but it's early days, I'd be tired even if we were formula feeding!

Am I right to be annoyed ?

[EatShitDezza]

Sounds like he's just trying to make it easier for you

[WyrdByrd]

I think it's probably something that has come from the right place but has been a bit misjudged tbh.

BF is such an emotive subject I suspect a lot of men just don't 'get it'.

[RosieProbert]

For what it's worth, I'm literally sat in the kitchen having a play with my perfect prep in anticipation of dd arriving any day now.
I ff DS and I'm vv keen to have a better crack at breast feeding this time and then move on to mixed feeding.
You do what's best for you.
I think your DH is just trying to be helpful and it can't hurt to have a backup.
Good luck and congratulations

[Kinraddie]

I was exactly the same with my DS, I ended up expressing for the first 3 months and giving him that in the bottle. It was a bit of a faff but we got into a good routine and it made me happy. Stick with it for a bit longer, and just tell your DH it won't be forever, just a few more weeks. For what it's worth, my next baby breastfed perfectly well. Good luck x

[Winterbells]

I'm sure he was just trying to be helpful but I totally understand why you are annoyed.

If you are happy to carry on expressing and working towards breastfeeding then carry on, it is your choice. I expressed for my son for 10 months and once we had a routine down, found a good pump and figured out hands free pumping it was minimal bother and I am glad I did it. :)

Remember to take care of yourself too though

[Littlef00t]

Goodness that's hugely undermining and rude for him to essentially veto expressing without talking to you.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

No discussion beforehand? Maybe DH means well and is looking for ways to free you up and make life easier. But if you are settled and happy I don't see why he'd announce it's time to call it a day.


Granted, bfing or expressing can be draining for you when you are tired - but if your DH helps with stuff like cuddling and comforting baby, nappy changing or winding her/him after a feed, or domestic chores which are needing attention, that is all a help.

Btw in the MN Talk Topics, there's a section called Feed The World, including a sub section called //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding with threads about expressing if you want more thoughts n the subject.

[mindthegap79]

I know how you feel. I really struggled with breastfeeding at first and after a week of very damaged nipples and no improvement, plus complete exhaustion I was on the point of giving up. My midwife recommended using nipple shields and what a transformation! Dd went from bobbing on and off constantly to latching instantly and staying latched for a whole feed. We used them from then on until she suddenly no longer needed them at 5 months. She's now nearly 9 months and still breastfeeding twice a day. I would persevere but maybe give them a go, and try to take care of yourself!

[Darkandstormynight]

Oh dear. Maybe he is trying to be helpful? In which case I'd say, Oh thanks, put it aside and keep doing what you are doing.

If he's not being helpful, I would just say you are going to breastfeed and continue to do so, and if he can't say anything nice then not to say anything at all. I ff, but had my dh's full support, and that's what you need, too.