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(25 Posts)
sandra159 Wed 19-Nov-14 09:21:59

AIBU to think the exH is just thick for buying our 12 yr old DS a mini motor for Xmas? There's no where to ride it near us and he's told him he will have to buy his own helmet and body armour. I can see him either hurting himself it getting into trouble. I asked him where on earth he was going to ride it and he said the street or the park!

upduffedsecret Wed 19-Nov-14 09:33:18

well riding it in the street is illegal, as he's underage and it won't have the relevent insurance/tax etc

and there are probably rules about no motorbikes in the park.

he's stupid.

dirkdiggler1 Wed 19-Nov-14 09:33:23

Nothing wrong with buying a 12 year old a mini moto but utterley stupid when said 12 year old has nowhere to ride it.

AMumInScotland Wed 19-Nov-14 09:36:04

He should buy the protective gear to go with it, and provide opportunities to go somewhere suitable to ride it. Never fair or right to buy a 'present' that doesn't come with all the required pieces and can't be safely used. He hasn't thought this through, at least not beyond 'Neat! I'd have loved one at his age' !

sandra159 Wed 19-Nov-14 09:45:32

It's not so much the actual bike, well it is, it's a stupid mini thing that the police will just confiscate ad crush, if it was a decent bike with all the protective gear and i knew he would actually take him somewhere and teach him, I wouldn't be so angry.

Adarajames Wed 19-Nov-14 09:49:54

You are not bu. if he tries riding it on pavement / in park, there is a good chance he will have it taken away and crushed by the police as they are (rightly) cracking down on the illegal use of these things on public land - and it is totally illegal to use them on paths / parks. The only place you are allowed to use them is on private land, so unless you or friends have large gardens / fields / bike tracks, he won't be able to ride it.

grumpyoldgitagain Wed 19-Nov-14 10:22:08

Ebay and use the money to buy him something he actually wants and can use without getting it confiscated and crushed or hurting himself (even the mini motos will do 30mph)

sandra159 Wed 19-Nov-14 10:43:38

I'm having nothing to do with it, there is no way it will be coming to my house, I'm not having the police at my door. I expect he'll get bored of it in no time.

WhatsTheEffingPoint Fri 21-Nov-14 00:04:11

Please dont let him ride it in parks or what looks like dis-used pieces of land or without decent head protection. I run an off road bike club and people who do this sort of thing jeopardise the use of the land for legitimate clubs who run with permits/insurance etc (we have lost land due to this type of thing).

Also i cant stress how important correct helmets are, i've seen accidents in a 'controlled' situation and if it wasnt for the helmet the situation would of been so much worse.

Bikes are great fun and ive seen the youngsters in our club grow in skills and confidence so if the bike is a definite then make sure he gets the right one and joins a club and gets the correct kind of licence.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 21-Nov-14 00:45:05

Tell your ex he might see the thing confiscated if DS gets reported for being a nuisance or anti-social. It's going to set you back too buying decent protective kit for DS to wear.

Not trying to be a killjoy but these things can be a handful. Does ex think he'll be able to sit snug indoors while DS is careering around outdoors?

nocoolnamesleft Fri 21-Nov-14 00:53:33

For the love of god don't let them on it without proper protective gear.

NotEvenAnEnormouseStirred Fri 21-Nov-14 01:16:51

Decent protective gear is a very expensive outlay. Itll probably cost more than the bike itself.

Your ex is a pillock.

sandra159 Fri 21-Nov-14 09:55:02

Yes, he is a massive pillock and he will almost certainly be thinking he can be sat snug indoors.
I imagine the protective gear does cost a whole lot more than the actual bike and he is well aware it's not something I can afford.
I certainly won't be having the bike at mine, if he wants him to ride it, he can get off his backside, take him somewhere decent with the proper gear.

NotEvenAnEnormouseStirred Fri 21-Nov-14 12:32:55

Just to give you an idea - You can get helmets for around £50 but brands like shoei, arai and shark can cost up to £500.
Boots - £100+
Jacket - similar to the boots, can be as expensive as the helmet
Trousers - £50 -£200
Then gloves, additional protectors, accessories and tools.

It's extremely dickish of your exh to put the responsibility and that much expense on your DS, and ultimately you.

You sound sensible though Op, I'm glad you're saying no. But equally worrying is that your ex sounds like he might be the type to keep the bike and allow your DS to ride it while he's at his. Irresponsibly and without good protective clothing.

Pantah630 Fri 21-Nov-14 12:47:55

I wouldn't worry OP, most mini motos have issues and rarely run well, if at all, unless he's made of money and bought a very good one. In which case he would have kitted him out with a helmet and gloves at least and somewhere to ride it. The police are very quick to confiscate and crush if they catch him on it in the street, park or pavement. If DS really wants I ride it properly look for your nearest Mini Moto race circuit, there are small ones up and down the country.

sandra159 Fri 21-Nov-14 13:05:09

Completely forgot about boots!
I'm secretly hoping that exH won't be bothered to take him anywhere on it, DS will be too scared to take it out alone and will soon get bored and want to get rid!

sandra159 Wed 26-Nov-14 13:34:50

I've managed to find out it's a 125cc pit bike.
Is that fast? Oh god I'm gonna worry myself sick here! It's quite big by the pictures!

EbwyIsUpTheDuff Wed 26-Nov-14 14:09:36

it doesn't have to be fast, can do just as much damage at 30mph!

incidentally, any impact at all to the helmet means replace it. Do NOT get a second hand one!

NakedFamilyFightClub Wed 26-Nov-14 14:36:54

To be blunt, I don't think you're actually taking this seriously enough.

If you think your exH will let your DS ride this without protective gear, you need to do something about it.

You say you don't want it at your house, but you could just accept it, then either get it scrapped or sell it on. Tell him the police confiscated it.

I ride motorcycles and I've lost 2 friends who passed their tests (so actually knew how to ride a bike to a safe standard) and rode using protective gear. Neither of them were at fault but that's no comfort. I have another who is now permanently paralysed from the waist down.

A 125cc with a light frame and a child's weight will be able to do at least 40mph. My first 125cc bike could do 70mph and it had a heavy frame.

Have you talked to your DS about this? Made him aware of just how dangerous it is? All it takes is to lose control for a second, hit something solid and his whole life would change.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff Wed 26-Nov-14 16:20:22

I mentioned this to my ex (a committed biker) who said your ex is a bloody idiot for even considering getting your kid something like that without the safety equipment and without anywhere proper to ride it.

And that if he ever sees a kid on one on the street he reports them for their own safety.

the exact phrase was "doesn't he love his kid or something?"

really, I would be showing the child some crash photos, describing what could happen...

there's a scary photo that crops up on my facebook - a foot with all the flesh removed from it. Still attached, still alive. just bones and stuff all on show - that was the result of coming off at 30mph without decent bike boots on.

To be honest, it would be an "over my dead body" thing for both the ex and me... and it's rare for complete agreement between us except for safety issues for the kids.

sandra159 Wed 26-Nov-14 17:42:20

It difficult because we don't speak (his choice) a I expect he know I'll be dead against it so don't it to spite me, I'll defo be showing him the pics, he sad his dads sold his ps4 to pay for a helmet and stuff so that's something at least, if I find out he's been riding it alone out and about locally I will most definitely be ringing the police.

OMGtwins Wed 26-Nov-14 18:49:37

You might want to look at motorcycle training for kids in your area. If your DH is going to buy it for him and he is going to ride it, then that will help him be safer.

Riding a motorbike can be dangerous, but a lot of accidents are rider error, so if you can take steps to minimise that and buying him the safety kit for when it does happen (yes, when, everyone comes off sooner or later) then it might help.

I say this as a biker with a DF who is an observer with the motorbike section of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, who helps people pass their advanced motorbike test.

FWIW a bike test is just like a car test IMO, doesn't really teach you much beyond the basics and certainly doesn't teach you how to handle a bike a high speeds, or the observation skills required to see trouble before it happens and avoid it. That's what the advanced training is for, either through IAM or ROSPA.


Pantah630 Thu 27-Nov-14 06:48:25

OP is your ex a biker? If he is I wouldn't be too concerned, he's not going to let him do something stupid. If he's not then be much more concerned.

Pit bikes are midi sized, normally 110cc and capable of much more than 40mph, lots of teenagers, after their CBTs, find them a cheaper option than a geared 125. The problem on the road is they're so much shorter and you struggle for a decent view of the road so the majority get bored quickly and save up for a car instead. Europe and the DSA have made it very difficult for 17yo to get a full licence to ride bigger bikes, btw bigger doesn't mean less safe, the safety here is controlled by the brain, the right hand and a fair bit of esp to work out what every other bugger is up to on the road, we're invisible you see and need to realise this to keep ourselves safe and ride accordingly.

All this is irrelevant in your case, your DS is 12 and can't legally ride that bike on the road till he's 17, it's a 50cc at 16, and then only after he has his licence, has completed his CBT (Compulsory Basic Training), has insurance, tax and wears a helmet! You need to actually talk to his father, put whatever personal stuff you have aside, I know it'll be difficult, and discuss the safety of your child. With correct instruction, the right gear and a safe place to ride, with supervision, this is no more unsafe than a pushbike downhill.

I've been riding since I was very young as has my DH and both my DSs. The youngest at 14 doesn't ride on the road, except as pillion, but has quite happily ridden our 600 single off road, with us in attendance, while we're there and a 600/4 around a CBT training ground with an authorised trainer to gain some experience handling larger machines. The oldest one had the same experiences at that age and now at 24 has been riding since he was 16, with a full licence, albeit restricted for 2 years as was then the case, since he was 17, he's got lots more actual riding experience than lots of other bikers I know that have only ridden occassionally for over 30 years.

This doesn't need to be a disaster, find out exactly what's going on from the man himself. If he's got no plan in place and has just, on a whim, with no bike experience or interest himself, bought your DS a bike as a toy, he is then an absolute numpty and you'd do well to look closely at said bike admiringly, find some wiring and pull, preferably up near the ignition switch/headstock or under the seat base, without leaving anything dangling so they give up looking for why it doesn't work. If you can't do that, make a few anonymous reports to the police about noise and little kids riding a small motorbike outside your exs house or your own, and get it impounded. grin

bigbluestars Thu 27-Nov-14 07:00:42

Nuts. I don't even encourage my kids to ride bicycles.

sandra159 Sat 29-Nov-14 14:56:02

Well according to ExH the police have already paid a visit and it's my fault! shock
I haven't rang them, can you imagine "maybe has bought a motor bike for our son" they'd laugh! I'm assuming he HAS been riding in the street and someone else has complained. Brilliant.
Just bide my time now!
Thanks for all your advice.

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