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To screen shot this woman's fiances messages

(174 Posts)
Fanfeckintastic Wed 19-Nov-14 08:46:39

I'm sick to death of seeing cheating slimeballs every where I go!
In my year and a bit of singledom I really saw it all and got propositioned by so many unlikely apparently loved up husband's and partners I have a whole new view on (most) men!

Anyway, I use a Facebook selling page and a couple of times when I've posted a question or a product for sale I get private messages from a random man trying to make conversation, well yesterday the guy was obviously in a serious relationship and was engaged, pics of his partner as his cover photo, the girls name listed quite clearly in the relationship status etc.
So I just saw red for this poor woman and screen shot his creepy messages and sent them to her blush stating I wasn't trying to cause trouble but I would want to know if I was in her shoes. She didn't reply and I'm glad but I'm feeling pretty awful to be honest, it seems really juvenile doesn't it? But I'm sick of men getting away with this stuff because nobody speaks up!

CocktailQueen Wed 19-Nov-14 08:48:29

Well, that was pretty stupid of him not to cover his tracks.

Sleazy behaviour, I agree.

If I were her, I'd want to know - at least now she can make an informed decision about what to do.

YANBU.

Fenton Wed 19-Nov-14 08:54:21

What kind of stuff was he saying?

Quiero Wed 19-Nov-14 08:54:33

I wouldn't have done that. These people are strangers to you? You are not some moral vigilante here to save people's relationships.

I can get why you'd be offended that a man you don't know sent you sleazy messages. Your issue is with him. It's not your call to decide whether his partner should know.

ARGHtoAHHH Wed 19-Nov-14 08:55:47

Reading that has really depressed me for some reason.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 19-Nov-14 08:59:22

* It's not your call to decide whether his partner should know.*

Why not? Of more women called them out on it, instead of ignoring it or sleeping with other people's partners, then they might do it a bit less.

TheAlias Wed 19-Nov-14 09:10:49

"from a random man trying to make conversation"

Only you know the context I suppose but it doesn't seem that off to me, to make conversation with someone you may or may not be about to buy something from.

How sleazy can it be (or how stupid can he be) if he's being completely public about his girlfriend?

batmanandrobin Wed 19-Nov-14 09:11:28

not sure i would have made the same decision, however my close friends ex was the same for many years without her knowing, and i know she would have appreciated anyone giving her the heads up!!!!

Quiero Wed 19-Nov-14 09:13:33

Funky I might agree if she knew them personally but it can be a really dangerous game when you don't know the dynamics of a relationship.

Quiero Wed 19-Nov-14 09:14:59

Fanfeckintastic - what did his message to you actually say?

basgetti Wed 19-Nov-14 09:15:59

I wouldn't have done it. Also she may not have seen the messages yet, they probably went into her 'others' folder.

itsaknockout Wed 19-Nov-14 09:17:37

YABU maybe they have an open relationship. In any case none of your business!

itsaknockout Wed 19-Nov-14 09:19:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WalkingInMemphis Wed 19-Nov-14 09:21:31

maybe she hasn't replied because your message has pushed her over the edge and she has slit her wrists.Yoi really have no idea what damage your meddling might have done

What a ridiculous thing to say.

That could be true of anyone, for anything. I wouldn't hesitate to tell a friend if this happened. Or should I not, in case I 'push them over the edge'?

TheAlias Wed 19-Nov-14 09:24:10

If you knew them though Walking, you'd be there to support them, you wouldn't just drop the bombshell and walk out of their life, would you?

basgetti Wed 19-Nov-14 09:26:01

I would tell a friend too, but the difference is I would tell them in person and make sure they were supported. I think just sending messages to a complete stranger, having no idea when or how they might actually come across them, is different.

OpalQuartz Wed 19-Nov-14 09:26:37

What did the message say?

itsaknockout Wed 19-Nov-14 09:27:25

You would have an idea of your friends state of mind too.

fairypond Wed 19-Nov-14 09:29:08

If someone sends you a message, it's your message to do what you want with. You didn't involve yourself in this man's life, he did.

ICanTotallyDance Wed 19-Nov-14 09:37:00

Fanfeckintastic made a call that some people will agree with and some people won't. Personally, I think she did the right thing (because she said that if if was in reverse she would want to know).

Even if there was some bizarre and awful scenario where the girlfriend harmed herself after receiving the messages, it's not Fanfeckintastic's fault, it's the bloke's fault for sending the message in the first place.

TheAlias Wed 19-Nov-14 09:40:00

We don't know what the message said yet Totally. All Op says is that he was "making conversation"

makeitabetterplace Wed 19-Nov-14 09:40:49

Good for you. If men knew that women would always 'tell' then they'd have to behave better. Either by leaving their partners to pursue their little games or by appreciating what they've got in the first place. Well done op.

BuzzardBird Wed 19-Nov-14 09:41:46

You shouldn't have to be subjected to creepy men's messages. His partner should be made aware, it's up to her what she does with that information. He will probably just tell her that you are a mad stalker woman.

Fanfeckintastic Wed 19-Nov-14 09:49:51

The messages were telling how beautiful my eyes were, that he could be was only a ten minute drive away and asking did I want company! So pretty sleazy in my book!

Although I'm still not sure I did the right thing I'm very surprised at how many people think it's okay to just brush these things under the carpet, I feel that he directly involved me by sending me unwarranted messages like that with obvious evidence he was in a relationship

PlumpingUpPartridge Wed 19-Nov-14 09:52:34

Sounds sleazy to me. Good for you.

Hopefully she hasn't responded because she is giving him hell.

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