To think that its not difficult to be on time !(55 Posts)
Up early to drop dh off at 5:45 for work . He starts work at 6, but as his company have a ' no lone worker' policy he meets a colleague by 5:50 every morning, they have a chat & open up.
Except on a Wednesday, the colleague he works with that day is ALWAYS late.
So as its cold, dark and damp this morning and I'm fond of dh I wait so he cam stay in the car.
Wednesday man strolls up at 6:15 , no apology, or attempt.
Dh asked why he was late this time, and Wednesday colleague just muttered something about not liking winter mornings.
AIBU to think that its rude to constantly be late and leave people waiting for you ?
YANBU, but there will be a load of posters along in a minute to tell you that they are always late as well and we should be understanding about it because their brains are wired differently.
Well as it's always a Wednesday, I'd assume the other person had a second job, or some kind of commitment elsewhere that they felt uncomfortable discussing.
They probably realise your husband has noticed, but are afraid that constant apologies might lead to awkward questions.
I'd probably ask your husband to not question him further.
YANBU. I cannot be late. For anything. If I can manage to be on time, all the time then other people can.
But as Herman so rightly said, a lot of others think leaving people standing about with not so much as a ten-second phone call or text message is acceptable. Diddums.
Yanbu - it's just rude to be late and selfish.
But in this instance could he ask Wednesday man as could be a reason. And then maybe turn up himself a bit later 6 say on Wednesdays if it's a regular thing for some reason
YANBU. Lateness is rude and inexcusable in 99% of cases.
YANBU. I hate the my time is more precious than yours mentality.
If staff are expected to start work at 6 and have a no lone worker policy, then the late arrival is not only discourteous to your dh but not complying with the terms of his employment contract and by default neither is your dh.
What would hapen if there was a random audit and it was discovered?
Lateness before 6 is rude but as long as both are able to start work by 6, it's ok. However after 6 is an issue and your dh should consider whether he should let his line manager know - even if just to cover himself if it's identified.
I would get your dh to speak to his line manager. This guy is making your dh late for work every week.
YANBU being late especially constantly late like this is rude.
To clarify Wednesday man only does the early on a Wednesday, where my dh does 4/5 a week.
Don't get me wrong, I know that anyone can be late on occasion, but I'm glad that INBU in thinking that persistent lateness is rude.
The company are already aware of the lateness issue and he is on a warning.
Then your DH should keep a diary of the guy's lateness and pass it on.
DH should inform his manager each and every time this happens. His colleague is consistently late and because of the lone worker policy this is impinging on him and making him late too .
I suppose I'm on the fence on this one. I mean, I have an utter phobia about being late. It makes me very anxious, and it means I tend to be places sometimes ridiculously early. But occasionally, if I'm taking my ds1, he will have a problem or get upset or have a meltdown and it throws my timing all over the place and I might be late. It stresses me out, but the reality of it is that I cannot plan for that kind of thing - not always.
I am assuming that if it's a childcare issue that either your DH or the manager would be aware of it.
Is he taking public transport to work? That might be part of the issue if it's, for example, the earliest bus through the area. It might be something he's already cleared with management due to the situation.
Although to be fair, my sister is a chronic late person, and on occasion it makes me pretty frustrated. She seems to think that starting work at 7am means you leave the house at 7am. And she has simply ALWAYS been that way - before children, before marriage. Always. It's been said she will be late for her own funeral. I don't doubt it.
The only thing your DH can really do is speak to management to clarify if this or is not something they've been aware of and sort it from there.
Like many others, I loathe lateness. It's so so rude. But
sweeping generalisation alert I think punctual people facilitate late people's lateness, because punctual people are more likely to be sensitive to social etiquette etc, and so are less likely to call the late person out on their rude behaviour.
As predicted, here's a late one. It's nothing to do with my time is more important than yours. It's because i try to do too much and underestimate how much time things will take. I feel terrible if I'm late and now aim to get places half an hour earlier so I might be there on time, I always apologise and my friends and family understand me (in fact we joke about it). I genuinely tend to feel stressed and cross if I'm expected to be somewhere at a specific time (like trains) I'm very laid back which annoys some people but people with deadlines and timescales annoy me, especially if they consider themselves to be superior and make assumptions because of it. That's why I do a job where I can largely manage my own time.
YANBU - it is funny how the same people are always late, but in reality issues like childcare/health/public transport etc are evenly spread between the late and on time. Being persistently late is the ultimate form of self centredness - my time is more important than yours.
If this is persistent, your DH should definitely log it with the company. If there is an audit, he doesn't want to get dragged into the premises not opening on time because of his selfish colleague.
no excuses. not for regular lateness.
and I love that you are fond of your DH.aawww
I can't stress this highly enough. Being late does not mean you are self centred. I am late because I have 2 kids with additional needs, a husband with physical disabilities, I work full time where I take on jobs for other people to help them out, I work into the night answering emails from people who need help and support and I give friends and family without cars lifts all over the place. Plus doing two courses. Of course someone will come along and explain that they do all of that and more and are on time but I'm not being competitive or wanting sympathy - just making the point that the generalisations are wrong. Just because I'm late doesn't mean I'm selfish or my time is more important than other people's, I'm laid back about time because being any other way would drive me to a breakdown and having someone putting pressure on about time is them feeling that their priorities and lives are more important than mine.
Yanbu. For those that are always late and underestimate how long things take - I don't understand how you can not realise after being late over and over again. Surely once it has happened a couple of times you would know that you haven't left enough time.
Thanks Zing, hes fond of me too .
No public transport issues, he drives himself in.
No childcare issues, his dc are grown.
Just to clarify it is every single Wednesday. Dh does inform the manager every time and he has received a written warning, but as its retail and the busiest time of year they are reviewing after Christmas.
The reason he gave his line manager is that he doesn't like dark mornings
I don't mind when people are a bit late, keep me updated, give me a reason and apologise.
I hate when someone is late, and ridiculously so as in 2 hours late, and they don't even acknowledge it.
Oh and people who text 'on my way' when they haven't even left yet can go fuck themselves.
the bloke he's working with needs to step up and be on time I hope he realises that or if possible when they review they deal with it. there's no reason he couldn't have said sorry I'm late It was because of whatever. I hate people keeping me waiting with no reason it smacks of " I think my time is more important than yours" and is really rude.
If I was your DH I'd be tempted to ask if there had been a change to the start time he wasn't aware of, as Weds man seems to think it's a 6.15am start. Or ask his manager that there is some flexibility on lone worker policy - explaining that he is sat outside waiting for nearly 30 mins when he could be inside cracking on with some work.
Sorry, I'm a zero tolerance on lateness too - I have DC, worked shifts and deal with a chronic health problem. I just leave enough time and extra to get everywhere and due to health problem that sometimes means getting up v v early. Of course, I am sometimes, albeit rarely, late, but people are more tolerant if they know you normally are not. I agree with poster unthread who said its the my-time-is-more-important-than-yours mentality with some persistent offenders.
I hate lateness. I have a severely disabled child, two under two and a full time job with an hour commute each way and I still manage to be on time. I understand that some people might have issues that cause them to be disorganised, but there are strategies that can be used to improve organisational skills.
OP I would definitely get your DH to discuss this with his line manager. We all have days when things don't go to plan but I don't think there's any excuse for being so late every week and leaving your DH hanging around!
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