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to feel so upset about this

(54 Posts)
GingerCuddleMonster Tue 18-Nov-14 20:48:40

I fear I'm being a right drama queen sad. I have PND bit it's now managed by fluoxetine and ongoing care from GP.

I was feeding my DS (he is bottle fed) and some woman turned to me and said something along the lines of you must not have a bond with your baby of you feed him like that. I can't quote her word for word I was busy but I just stared confused at her at first then dissmissed it, but I sat there and felt the anger/upset mounting. Not sure of she directed it at me or was talking to someone else, wasn't looking at her.

what did she mean I don't have a bond with my baby and what does bottle feeding him have to do with it (have I missed something confused )

I'm confused and angry, DS and me have a lovely bond, we adore each other spend ages giggling and smiling at each other hmm

I think I'm missing some information or something, why would a stranger assume such a thing?!

motherofmonster Tue 18-Nov-14 20:50:28

Quite possibly because she is gigantic interfering cockwomble.
Don't even worry about it

ApocalypseThen Tue 18-Nov-14 20:51:27

Well some people think that breast feeding helps with bonding, but I don't think it's ever been proven to be necessary for bonding, or sufficient to create bonding in its absence.

You sound like you and your son are just fine, so ignore meddlesome aul wans.

Jaffakake Tue 18-Nov-14 20:52:27

Yep, there's no accounting for cockwombles. Don't give it another thought x x

iliketea Tue 18-Nov-14 20:52:58

YANBU to be upset, but try to brush it off. For some reason, how you choose to feed your baby turns some people's "behave like a twat" button on - ignore them. If your baby is happy and thriving, then whatever you are doing is just right.

I met another mum at baby group who refused to socialise with me because I bottle-fed, think I had a lucky escape!

FunkyBoldRibena Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:03

Do you think she might have been a complete cunt? If so, never pay any mind to those people. They talk bollocks.

nilbyname Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:04

That woman was being a massive massive unsisterly twunt.

You can totally disregard what she said to you, as
1. She is a loon
2. Knows nothing of you, your lovely bond and your wonderful parenting
3. Was rude and unhelpful

Try not to let her get inside your head, imagine a big wooden door and 2 big burly men with spears guarding it and those negative thoughts Will Not Cross!

I mixed fed dd, and we are peas in a pod.

You're doing great.

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:16

Who cares what she means?

She's random rambling twat.

I bottle fed all 3 of mine through choice and we couldn't be closer.

Wolfiefan Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:29

I struggled to bf my DS. I felt guilty and anxious.
I ff DD. I felt happy and close to her.
Mother is correct. She's a cockwomble!

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 18-Nov-14 20:53:47

Yabvu to even register what that interfering bitch said!!!

It's nonsense.

Enjoy your baby. The baby who will be just fine and love you and who won't he told apart from any kid fed any other way in a few months.


ChippingInAutumnLover Tue 18-Nov-14 20:54:02

Because some people shouldn't be allowed out in public.

Really, don't give her another thought.

ClangerOnaComeDown Tue 18-Nov-14 20:54:03

Feeding the baby any which way is bonding time.

I second she is an interfering cockwomble.

Unless your trying to force feed your 3 month old pom bears and fruit juice from a glittery spoon she should keep her gob shut.

tabulahrasa Tue 18-Nov-14 20:54:07

There's a theory that BF is better for bonding...because obviously anyone who FFs does so without holding their baby hmm

I've done both btw...can't say there was much difference in that respect at all.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 18-Nov-14 20:54:20

Some people are ignorant twats.

Don't pay ignorant twats any heed and don't be upset because you met an ignorant twat. Be glad you're not her.

Summerisle1 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:54:56

What you have to do with people like this is realise that they have the problem. Not you. Anyone whose opinion was worth hearing would not express such bizarre views in such a bonkers and interfering manner.

Changingnames32 Tue 18-Nov-14 20:55:53

I loved bottle feeding my babies, I loved seeing exactly how much milk they were drinking.

Ignore her she's a twat.

Thurlow Tue 18-Nov-14 20:57:11

gigantic interfering cockwomble grin

Oh, definitely exactly that.

There is a theory that some people ascribe to that bf provides a closer bond during those first few months as you spend so much time 'with' your baby and somehow this makes you closer. As if ff mums or dads can't be close to their baby. Which personally I think is bollocks.

I have, on a very bad day with a mum I know who makes comments like this, pointed out that as my baby got older I like to think that I had a closer bond with her and understood her more as I didn't just whack her on the boob every time she even wiggled.

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Nov-14 20:57:34

So does this woman think Dads don't bond with their babies, being as they can't breastfeed?

Drgonzosattorney Tue 18-Nov-14 20:57:56

Yup, another to say "cockwomble". Try to develop a thick skin(I couldn't but still trying too). Be happy and confident and bugger everyone else!!

NancyJones Tue 18-Nov-14 20:58:27

How were you sat? I was with a bottle feeding friend once and someone mentioned lack of bonding to her but she challenged them and they were referring to the fact that she had baby on her lap facing outwards iykwim.

That aside, Of course you have a bond with your baby! Breastfeeding can possibly make mum feel closer physically but you are your baby's mummy, of course he has a bond with you!

Medibeagle Tue 18-Nov-14 20:59:59

I have breast fed one and bottle fed the next and there was no difference with bonding. Woman is a loon!

Varya Tue 18-Nov-14 21:01:35

Just ignore her, none of her business. You have lots of love for your son, as he does for you.

CornChips Tue 18-Nov-14 21:03:19

I think the term cockwomble is indeed the most appropriate for the day.

Hassled Tue 18-Nov-14 21:03:39

I FF two of my DCs, and BF the other two. We're all equally bonded - honestly, it makes no difference.

Lambzig Tue 18-Nov-14 21:04:26

What an idiot. I had similar twatish comments when bottle feeding DS. Just be grateful you are not the judgemental ignorant madam that she is. I think you know very well that you have a great bond with your DS, so don't give her the headspace.

Conversely, I remember my friend who was breastfeeding got told by someone in an M&S cafe that she was leaving because seeing my friend breastfeed her DD (behind a shawl), had made her physically sick and my friend should stay at home if she wanted to do that.

Basically, I take that to mean that unfortunately there are a few people out there who are utter twunts and that new mothers tend to be a little vulnerable sometimes and are easy targets for these repellent people.

Don't take it to heart.

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