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Was this teacher rude and should I say something?

(111 Posts)
farendofafart Tue 18-Nov-14 17:54:56

As I met my DD out of school today her teacher made a beeline for me and said in an authoratitative manner (which is her usual manner to be fair), "Can I ask you not to send DD to school again wearing the coat you've been sending her in?"

I was totally perplexed as her coat is a completely ordinary, plain, padded winter coat, brand new last month.

It turns out that the zip has been causing problems (although I wasn't aware of this and it hasn't caused me any problems) and DD has "missed 40 minutes of her education today because of time spent with three adults trying to get her out of her coat."

Whilst I understand this must have been super annoying for her teacher, I can't help thinking her approach with me was unnecessarily rude. Added to the fact that I am a single parent on benefits at the moment (which her teacher should know as DD is on FSM) and I cannot afford a new coat at a moment's notice.

I'm quite prepared to be told I'm BU. I'm a bit hormonal and life is a bit of a struggle right now so it could just be me being over sensitive.

CaptainAnkles Tue 18-Nov-14 17:57:23

I think at the time you maybe should have said that: that she doesn't have another coat and you're not in a position to buy her another at the moment. How did it take 40 minutes out of the school day to undo a zip anyway?

ghostyslovesheep Tue 18-Nov-14 17:58:44

if the zip is an issue take it back to the shop and get one with a zip that works?

CleanLinesSharpEdges Tue 18-Nov-14 17:59:01

I think those 3 adults are probably too stupid to be working at a school if it really took them 40 minutes to get your DD out of a coat.


ghostyslovesheep Tue 18-Nov-14 17:59:50

Opps not answered the question grin yes she was a bit rude but not enough, if it was me, for it to be an issue

Iggly Tue 18-Nov-14 18:00:15

Perhaps if they took their heads out of their arses they'd have been OK to undo it.

AnyoneforTurps Tue 18-Nov-14 18:00:40

WD40 will sort the zip.

JimmyCorkhill Tue 18-Nov-14 18:01:03

She was VERY unreasonable. She could have just told you that your DD was stuck and the zip needs fixing. 40 minutes to free your child? I was a teacher and spent the entire winter freeing children from stuck coats. Impossible zips just meant we pulled the coat over their head. FFS.

Hatespiders Tue 18-Nov-14 18:02:20

YANBU, her manner was far too abrupt and unsympathetic. I was a primary school teacher for 26 years and would never have spoken so rudely to a parent. If she has no patience, with zips or anything else, she'll never make a good teacher!!
I wonder if you could sew some large buttons on your dc's coat and corresponding loops, so it could be fastened without the zip?
I'm sorry you've been upset like this, it must be hard for you when money is short and you're not feeling too well. <<hug>>>

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Tue 18-Nov-14 18:02:40

I would say something. I normally wouldn't but it seems to be an excessive fuss. Three adults 40 minutes to get her out of her coat? I don't think so.

As you say you have a limited budget and her demands are a bit much- not a repair or a request for replacement, but a demand.
Ds1 has had problems with his coat at school because he is not paying attention whilst doing it up and is catching the lining in the zip. We have talked about it and he has promised to be careful but it has happened in school occasionally. I would not be amused if they decided to tell me he needed a new coat.

farendofafart Tue 18-Nov-14 18:03:44

I did mention I couldn't afford it and the teacher suggested I take it back to the shop. She's right I suppose. Hope I can find the receipt.

TheRealMaryMillington Tue 18-Nov-14 18:03:45

What clean said

Take No Notice

Teach your DD to use the zip properly (or fix it if it needs a little fixing)

If you particularly feel the need, send a brief but polite note saying explaining that you cannot afford to magic up a new coat for DD 6 weeks before Xmas. TBH if you carry on regardless teacher will probably clock her error.

3littlebadgers Tue 18-Nov-14 18:04:40

Sounds a bit abrupt to me, if you can't afford a new coat, you can't afford a new coat, it is as simple as that. A roof over her head and food in her tummy is far more important. Did you find out what the issue is with the zip? Does it catch on the fabric inside? If so maybe a stitch to hold the extra fold of fabric away will help. Is it a coat the dd could step out of if it catches towards the bottom? Does it have poppers along side the zip which she could get away with using when she knows she will be taking it off by herself?

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Tue 18-Nov-14 18:04:57

If the zip's "teeth" are sticking, run a normal pencil up and down it and try it again.

Winterbells Tue 18-Nov-14 18:05:31

I am laughing at the fact that it took 3 teachers 40 minutes to unzip a coat! If the zip is stuck just pull it off like a jumper. Perhaps there was a loose thread stuck in the zip? It's always a pain when that happens but easily sorted.

She was very rude and unreasonable.

NoelleHawthorne Tue 18-Nov-14 18:09:00

oh fgs move on

Hatespiders Tue 18-Nov-14 18:11:00

Our lovely welfare lady (do they still have those nowadays?) had occasionally to unzip a willy caught in a trouser zip. Ouch!

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Tue 18-Nov-14 18:11:31

Noelle easy for you to say. OP is obviously acutely aware that her DD is short a spare coat.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Tue 18-Nov-14 18:16:49

I've sent you a PM OP.

ChimesAndCarols Tue 18-Nov-14 18:17:37

She's just spent 7 hours dealing with children, children and even more children. I think she can be forgiven for being just a tad OTT, don't you?

In the vast scheme of things, unless you really want to cause the teacher aggro, just let it go.

If she's just calmly said "The zip on your DD's coat isn't working" you would probably have just shrugged and thought "Well it works for me" wouldn't you?

Suggest you take the coat back so it doesn't happen again?

NoelleHawthorne Tue 18-Nov-14 18:17:50

well she wasn't - she had no idea about the zip

ChimesAndCarols Tue 18-Nov-14 18:19:22

Well, she does now smile

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 18-Nov-14 18:19:51

Don't over do the support Noelle!.
YNBU O.P. Teachers seem to think money is a bottomless pit. I would complain. I mean if you went it complaining over everything you'd be there all the time but there's times when you have to make sure your voice is heard . As others have said why couldn't they have just lifted it over her head.
If she wants you to get another coat then she will have to provide the money

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 18-Nov-14 18:20:47

I think those 3 adults are probably too stupid to be working at a school if it really took them 40 minutes to get your DD out of a coat


Bumbiscuits Tue 18-Nov-14 18:20:54

If the zip is faulty, you won't need a receipt to take it back. The shop has to give you your money back for faulty goods. They will try and make you exchange or take a credit note, but you can insist on your money back.

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