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to think you don't turn up late to a get together hung over and empty handed?

(30 Posts)
owlbegoing Tue 18-Nov-14 17:41:30

My DM, DSis and DNeice and another DSis came round at the weekend for my DD's birthday. They turned up 30 minutes late (which I know isn't much but they weren't getting here until 11 in the first place so that's the morning gone.) This was because one DSis (without the DN) was hungover from the night before and didn't get up in time. They all live together so were travelling together.
When they eventually got here she slept and just sat there like a wet weekend.
We've sat down today to write the thank you cards and I've realised that my DD only got a card from her.
So she had money to spend getting pissed but not to buy a present or put money in a 6 year old's card!
AIBU to think that it's bad form?
Or am I being grabby? I don't think I am!

MaidOfStars Tue 18-Nov-14 17:45:57

30 mins late for an 11am meet up is neither here nor there. As you say, the morning was gone anyway, whether they were on time or not. I wonder sweat this.

But agree it's pretty mean to spunk money on booze but not stick a fiver in a card for your niece.

MaidOfStars Tue 18-Nov-14 17:46:11


rollonthesummer Tue 18-Nov-14 17:51:18

How old is she? If she's 17, that's different to being 33!

MaidOfStars Tue 18-Nov-14 17:53:44

Oh yeah, that's a good point. I'd based my answer on a 30 year old...

owlbegoing Tue 18-Nov-14 17:56:53

She's 19.
Is it really excusable because she's a teenager?
I'd not have done that at her age!

shaska Tue 18-Nov-14 18:05:49

Well, a little bit shoddy, but as 19 year olds go not that bad I don't think! I'm sure once she's grown up she'll look back on it and realise she was a bit crap, but I wouldn't start WW3 over it. At 19 I missed all sorts of family stuff through being hungover, or even just drunk, though, so that might be colouring my judgement a bit...

usualsuspect333 Tue 18-Nov-14 18:08:19

It's not that bad is it?

usualsuspect333 Tue 18-Nov-14 18:10:38

I don't even think my teenagers would have gone to a 6 year olds birthday thing.

LadyLuck10 Tue 18-Nov-14 18:11:46

Yabu, she got her a card. Don't be grabby and demand a gift. She can choose how she spends her money.

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease Tue 18-Nov-14 18:12:22

I don't think 30minutes is late. I'd excuse the lack of gift at 19, but a fiver would have been nice but not worth being upset over.
Happy birthday to your DD.

ShakeYourTailFeathers Tue 18-Nov-14 18:13:45


A 6 yr olds b-day party is as much fun as a funeral to a 19 yr old, sorry.

AChickenNamedDirk Tue 18-Nov-14 18:16:26

Yabu. It is grabby to ever expect a gift from anyone. Especially from a child effectively.

owlbegoing Tue 18-Nov-14 18:17:34

Ok it looks like IABU.
Thanks all for your input thanks

Maryz Tue 18-Nov-14 18:20:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carlsonrichards Tue 18-Nov-14 18:23:29

You are being incredibly grabby. She's 19. I'm surprised she turned up at all. Of course she's going to spend her money going out with her friends and get wasted.

You sound like hard work.

PuppyMonkey Tue 18-Nov-14 18:24:57

I'm playing MN bingo -grin

Being late
Card but no gift
Writing thank you notes

Put it down to experience, op. And I hope your DD had a great day

AlpacaYourThings Tue 18-Nov-14 18:28:27

I'm with Maryz. I'm impressed she even came and more impressed she got your DD a card.

WooWooOwl Tue 18-Nov-14 19:23:36


Your six your old is your priority in life, not your sisters. It's nice that she made the effort to get up and come at all.

PowderMum Tue 18-Nov-14 19:38:58

I've got an almost 18yo DD, she doesn't go to all family events and wouldn't be expected to buy her own card/present, I would do it on her behalf (as a joint present).
Turning up at 11 not 11.30 would be considered normal in our family, my DM in particular is known for her exceptionally bad time keeping.

Tobyjugg Tue 18-Nov-14 19:44:00

I agree the lack of a present is bad but a hang over and an excited 6 year old's birthday, surely the poor girl suffered enough.

MrsJossNaylor Tue 18-Nov-14 20:13:56

YABU - she was there, she brought a card...sounds like she did a much better job than I would have at 19!

gamerchick Tue 18-Nov-14 20:16:43

Decent job for 19 tbh. Let it go OP .

BastardGoDarkly Tue 18-Nov-14 20:29:28

I would have thrown a sicky at 19 and not made the effort to go and take a card.

If I were you, I'd be touched she came, and not have expected her to plan her whole weekend around a 6yr olds party.

Drgonzosattorney Tue 18-Nov-14 20:42:16

Definitely put it down to DN's age. They have other priorities, I would give money/present from my side of family and not individual gifts. Perhaps the present was from all your films combined.

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