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To think that the parents of the birthday child cover the cost of a birthday treat?

(293 Posts)
Rantymop Tue 18-Nov-14 17:30:48

Ds has been invited to a classmates birthday, consisting of cinema trip and pizza afterwards.

Confined that ds would be going, and today I recieved an email asking for £30 to cover the part of his cinema ticket, dinner and transport to the venue.

Ds has had a couple of the cinema/pizza type birthdays and I have always covered all costs for all the children invited.

It's a bit odd, right?

Rantymop Tue 18-Nov-14 17:31:32


bluebeanie Tue 18-Nov-14 17:32:15

Yes, I think it odd and steep at that...

Kitsmummy Tue 18-Nov-14 17:32:47

Jeez, that is one of the cheekiest things I have heard of! And at £30 it sounds like they're hoping to make a profit too!

Enjorasdream Tue 18-Nov-14 17:32:48

£30 for cinema and a pizza? Is there caviar and Wagyu beef on the pizza?

I8toys Tue 18-Nov-14 17:32:59

Very odd - taking the piss. You don't pay to attend a birthday party - unless its Elton John's.

RufusTheReindeer Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:29

I think that's odd and expensive!!!

We might ask for help with transport or for parents to drop them off but cinema and food we would pay for

tallulah Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:40

Very odd. When I've hosted pizza and cinema trip parties I expect to pay for the pizza and the cinema ticket for the party guests, but the guests parents drop them off and pick them up (unless there are only 2 or 3 of them and they fit in the car).

Rantymop Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:41

I know, there are 5 children invited as well at £30 a pop.

MrsKitty Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:42

Very weird. Especially as I'd struggle to see how that'd cost much more than £20 anyway. Unless it's posh pizza and a limo!

FrozenAteMyDaughter Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:50

I think it's odd too OP but even if it wasn't £30 seems a bit steep for kids pizza and the cinema. How are they getting there? Limousine?

iwantavuvezela Tue 18-Nov-14 17:33:54

I agree, the birthday is usually covered by the hosts. Perhaps you could send an email back asking for £x to cover cost of gift!

christinarossetti Tue 18-Nov-14 17:34:57

This is one of those things that is only really on with close friends if you know they're a bit skint. It's definitely not the way classmate birthday parties are usually held.

30 quid is a lot of money - definitely ridiculous amount of ask other parents to contribute.

Canyouforgiveher Tue 18-Nov-14 17:35:28

Perhaps you could send an email back asking for £x to cover cost of gift!

That's brilliant.

I think they'll make a profit out of the birthday at the rate they are going. Unless it was dc's best friend, I'd say no thanks to that invite.

WitchesGlove Tue 18-Nov-14 17:35:39

That's very expensive.

Are the parents wealthy? or poor? Do you think they're actually honest people?

tell them about that groupon cinema offer- 5 tickets for £20!

BasketzatDawn Tue 18-Nov-14 17:36:18

Wouldn't a tenner cover that? And you are not U as costs would normally be covered by birthday family. Chancers IMO.

Kitsmummy Tue 18-Nov-14 17:36:22

Don't pay it Op, decline the invite, you can't let them get away with that!

ilovepowerhoop Tue 18-Nov-14 17:36:35

I think I'd mail back to say that he is no longer going. No way is £30 reasonable.

WireCat Tue 18-Nov-14 17:36:42

Good god. It's very rude and not the done thing. And £30. Wtf?

AnnieLobeseder Tue 18-Nov-14 17:36:56

Weird and rude. When DD did a movie and dinner birthday, I limited her to 3 friends because that's all we could afford. It would never have occurred to me to ask parents to pay.

I'd write back explaining that there had been a misunderstanding and that DC wouldn't be able to attend after all.

2minsofyourtime Tue 18-Nov-14 17:37:26

I reckon they are covering the cost of their own tickets which is why they asked for 30£. Really cheeky and expensive.

Rantymop Tue 18-Nov-14 17:37:53

The thing is, I have already said he would go. But I have huge costs this month, insurances to renew and its ds birthday soon. I could really do without shelling out £30 plus the cost of a present right now.

Dh thinks it's cheeky beyond belief not to have said something at the time of invite (they are year 8, so the parents just sent an email in the first instance and no mention of payment then).

ghostyslovesheep Tue 18-Nov-14 17:38:14

yanbu - if I do this I invite a small number and pay - I wouldn't expect parents to pay for the privilege of their child attending my child's birthday trip!

NewEraNewMindset Tue 18-Nov-14 17:38:50

Oh god please decline the invitation. I can't believe anyone thinks that charging for an invite after it has been accepted is good manners!! Could it be a cultural thing? If not then I certainly would not be paying £30 and taking a present along too. Crazy!!

MonstrousRatbag Tue 18-Nov-14 17:38:55

That's just wrong. When my children have had those kinds of parties we've covered the cost. What next, passing a hat round to pay for the puppet show at an at-home party?

And frankly, if you are going to ask for the money, ask at the time the invitation is made, not later, so people know what it is they are saying yes to.

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