To approach another mother in the street to make friends?(10 Posts)
I've really struggled to make friends since my DS was born and I don't currently have any friends with children. I've tried groups etc with no success.
Yesterday I was out at our local shops and I bumped into a women with two children. Her DD was around my DS's age and they started interacting. I said hello to the Mum and we had a one sentence exchange about something in the shop.
As I walked away I considered giving her my phone number and suggesting meeting up - but then I thought it would come across as a bit weird.
What do you think? Would you find that strange?
Not strange as such...but I would wonder if you were very religious and looking to recruit me!
See if you bump into her again at the shops or park and chat some more and that way the friendship starts more organically iykwim!
I agree, just ask her about toddler groups that she can maybe recommend then take it from there.
One of my best friends I met because she threw herself in front of my car and shoved her number through my window!! Sounds mad but we had spoken a couple of times and I left to go home. I was actually doing what you say, thinking to myself that I should have asked her to coffee.
12 years on we are best buds & she isn't bonkers as it turns out..well not in a religious way, in a very fun way thankfully!
Where are you? There might be someone on mumsnet near you in a similar position.
I've made some good friends at groups, but it's taken a bit of persistence. At first I went and sat in the corner/only played with ds because everyone was in groups chatting. But I persisted and after a few weeks became a familiar face, so people would nod and say hi. I also worked out that quite a few are actually childminders (and if they didn't go, the groups wouldn't be available for the likes of me!) and using it as an opportunity to catch their breath as much as letting the kids socialise!
It's a bit easier then when you're chatting to someone in the park - instead of being presumptuous and saying "here's my number" which I find quite hard, I can say "We usually go to X group on Y day, might see you there sometime?"
United Reform/New Life type church groups are brilliant as they have dedicated workers running the groups, so there's always a welcome for newbies
and they often have decent coffee for the parents nobody's ever tried to convert me btw although we do regularly get invited to Messy Church
It's a little strange yes. You're not alone though! Definitely look up the MN local for your area.
I don't think it's strange at all. In fact, a woman with a similar aged toddler to mine approached me on my local high street recently, and we exchanged numbers. She was new to the area etc etc. I thought she was very brave. Now, we didn't become friends immediately, but we kept meeting out and about and now we definitely are. Without that initial overture, I'm sure she would have remained one of those background people that you see around all the time but don't really know. Someone has to make the first step, and next time I'd like to think it might be me. Go for it.
I've started to do this, since DS was born. And I live in London, where nobody talks to anybody if they can help it.
As I see it, we're all in the same boat. Eager for adult company, keen to build a network for our kids, with a lot more time on our hands than we're used to. So I usually ask for their number and then suggest a play date by text. If the other person is uncomfortable with the idea they can ignore the text/send back an excuse - that's absolutely fine by me.
Some of these encounters will flourish into friendships and some won't, but I decided I had nothing to lose by being proactive. So I say go for it.
I move around with jobs all the time (live in nanny) and I would lose my sanity if I didn't interact with adults during the day, so I do this. I will talk to people at playgroups or parks and just honestly say I haven't made any friends yet, any tips on where to go etc, and normally someone will either give me their number or give me a number of someone in a similar position!
Also, last week, a stressed looking lady approached me in the street with a newborn, asking me the good places to go with baby changing facilities, and said she was struggling to get the hang of trips out with baby. We chatted for a while and told her all the groups I go too. I wouldn't have thought she was strange if she asked for my number
Personally I'd be flattered!
I've met a few cool looking mums just once or twice and hoped I'd run into them again and then never did. Although, I think you need more than a one sentence conversation, I think it would be great if we were all a bit more open to initiating contact/friendship
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