It's too late to do anything about it this year obviously, but just wondering whether other people would feel the same as me.
My family unit is me, DH and DD(3). We've not been together long - this will be our 5th Christmas. The first year, we spent Christmas day at my parents. I'm close to them, they live nearby & I think we just kind of assumed that from then on, we would alternate years between my parents and DH's.
Unfortunately my FIL passed away the following year. We spent that Christmas with my MIL - it was "her" year anyway but given the circumstances we would have done regardless obviously. If I'm brutally honest I didn't particularly enjoy spending Christmas elsewhere - silly things like the food being different and DD being told to be quiet during the Queen's speech
So, the following year we invited MIL down to spend Christmas with us. We couldn't go to my parents and leave her on her own. DH does have a brother but he's completely useless (think 40 something who still smokes pot) and he likes to spend Christmas in his own house getting stoned - he's not going to visit her and would never host himself. MIL essentially lives with her sister now, but she goes to her own daughter over Xmas.
Going to my parents with my MIL in tow isn't an option either unfortunately. My mum suffers from severe anxiety and although she has nothing against my MIL, she wouldn't be able to cope very well with having a non family member there at Christmas. I completely understand that and would never expect an invite for my MIL. Similarly, my parents (and brother) coming to us wouldn't be an option either. We haven't got the space in our flat to cater for what would be 7 people.
So as it stands, my parents pop round for about an hour on Christmas morning to exchange presents, then they're gone. MIL on the other hand stays with us for 3 nights. I really miss spending the day with them - this will be the third year the same and I don't see how it's ever going to change now.
I'm not a cow and I don't like the thought of MIL being on her own over Xmas. I haven't voiced any of this to DH, but next year do you think it would BU to discuss it with him, and see whether she would be able to spend Xmas with other family (ie her sister or DH's brother)? I have no idea how we would broach it with her without it seeming like she's not wanted, but I would just like the occasional Xmas day with my own family.
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AIBU?
To wish we could spend Xmas with MY family once in a while?
159 replies
WD41 · 18/11/2014 10:08
OP posts:
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