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...to complain to our NDN about this?

(20 Posts)
BooDidIScareYou Tue 18-Nov-14 07:42:21

We live in a flat. I accept that that means we have to live with a higher level of noise from neighbours than we might do in a house, and I don't think I'm particularly precious about it.

Our NDN likes his music loud - he told us this not long after we moved in and we'd had to knock on his door at midnight on a Sunday to ask him to turn it down. His girlfriend then came round to give us her mobile number 'so that we didn't have to knock and could text them to turn it down like the neighbours the other side do'. So there's obviously been problems previously.

Anyway in the last year or so we have probably either texted or knocked about 5-6 times because their music is too loud. Quite often we have to knock loudly several times as they don't hear it. We've wanted to say something many more times than that but haven't in the interests of neighbourly relations. However in the last week it's been worse than usual and we've had to go round twice. The first time the music was so loud it was drowning out our tv when we got in from work at 7pm. He was apologetic, turned it down but we could still hear it, we just lived with it until it stopped later. Last night it wasn't ridiculously loud but still too loud for us to get to sleep at 10pm, we'd ignored it for the earlier part of the evening. I knocked the door, he answers looking pissed off, says 'it's not THAT loud, we need to have a word about this' and shuts the door. Music gets turned down.

AIBU? We generally don't say anything unless a) it's stupidly loud, which is usually earlier in the day / evening or b) it's keeping us awake, when it doesn't have to be very loud to do so.

He clearly thinks we are. I suspect because it's never ridiculously loud late at night, he thinks that's considerate enough and we're being precious by complaining. I don't want any bad feeling but it looks like it's becoming unavoidable angry

gamerchick Tue 18-Nov-14 07:45:11

I hope you've been logging everything?

Time to start complaining the official way.. get the dudes in to monitor noise levels.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 18-Nov-14 07:50:30

I never understand why people can't wear had phonesconfused

I'd be logging events too and keeping a copy of the phone bill and high lighting his number anytime you ring it.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 18-Nov-14 07:50:53

Head

Sunnymeg Tue 18-Nov-14 07:53:47

He is being unreasonable living in a flat if he wants to play music that loud. I would have a look at your lease or if you own the property, check to see if there are any restrictive covenants, concerning noise or being a nuisance to neighbours. If there are restrictions on your property, then they will be on his as well. I would then write him a letter stating your issues and saying if he has failed to abide by any rules concerning his conduct. If he rents, then I would obtain the property owners details from Land Registry ( its about £3) and send the owner a copy of the letter. Hopefully that will be enough to sort it out.

FoxSticks Tue 18-Nov-14 08:02:52

Could you have a chat with him and offer for him to come to your flat next time it's disturbing you so you can show him how loud it is?

BooDidIScareYou Tue 18-Nov-14 08:03:45

Thank you! The only thing in our lease about noise is that music shouldn't be played at a volume where it can be heard outside the property after 11pm. I do wonder if his is similar and that he therefore thinks anything up until 11pm is fair game - tbf it rarely goes on much later than that. We rent and we've not been here long, we think he owns and has been here ages. Apparently the couple who lived here before us were mad party animals and he often had to ask them to turn it down, so perhaps it seems horses for courses to him, who knows. We're going to be moving out in a few months anyway but just trying to work out if it's worth trying to do anything about it in the meantime....

Whippet81 Tue 18-Nov-14 08:15:15

Why on earth do people want music on that loud for? I could have it on at top volume if I wanted - neighbours are quite far away but I couldn't see the point? getting old

Wouldn't have dreamed of it when I lived in a flat. I don't get all the 'you have to put up with it' you normally get on here I don't think you should disturb other people at all - I don't see the need to unless work being done/normal levels of children playing etc. No one needs loud music or televisions or to shout surely?

Sorry not helpful I'm not sure what I would do - maybe get his girlfriend on side - invite her up to see how loud it is in your flat? Possibly next time it happens go and knock on the door and just say 'come with me a minute' and take him and show him how loud it is? Obviously if safe but it doesn't sound like they have been aggressive or anything so should be ok.

avocadotoast Tue 18-Nov-14 08:39:31

I'd definitely start logging it. 11pm does seem to be the cut off for noise but if you're experiencing it most of the evening, and most evenings, it's horrible. Before DH and I lived together his neighbours (at the back) would put their music on at 2pm and it'd go on until the early hours. Council did nothing, but then I don't think they (DH and housemates) really pursued it that much. Good luck OP!

Littlef00t Tue 18-Nov-14 10:01:57

If you're moving out soon then go for it! If he gets the hump with you it won't be for long and you'll get some sleep in the meantime.

JubJubBirds Tue 18-Nov-14 10:36:31

Ask him to come down and hear it for himself next time it's too loud. We had exactly the same problem with our neighbour but after they'd come into our flat and heard it they set about putting things in place to reduce it (raised speakers, putting down rugs, etc).

Try to explain it in terms of sound travelling rather than just blaming him for having it too loud (just to keep a bit of piece between you if possible) and ask him to look into soundproofing or moving his speakers etc.

angelos02 Tue 18-Nov-14 10:43:07

Some people have no consideration for those around them. I would be mortified if I thought my neighbours could hear my music - at any time of day. Vile.

BooDidIScareYou Tue 18-Nov-14 10:50:20

He's next door and there's a bloody great big thick concrete wall between us! To put it into context we never hear voices, footsteps, doors, any other household noise like I have when I've lived in other flats, it's just the music so it must be bloody loud. Never hear a peep from the neighbours the other side. He said when we moved in he liked it loud but just to knock if its a problem, when we take him at his word he doesn't like it. I suspect if we asked him round to do a sound test he'd either turn it down first or say it wasn't that bad. I get the impression that because he might not mind it if we made a load of noise, we should take the same attitude. We've had maybe 2 noisy nights since living here and I've always apologised the day after, but he always says he didn't hear anything!

JubJubBirds Tue 18-Nov-14 11:01:29

Next time it's loud go over and take him straight over to yours to listen, that way he can't turn it down.

RobbStarksBitch Tue 18-Nov-14 11:02:39

Well he really is an inconsiderate fucker isn't he?

I'd do as someone up thread suggested and get him to come round to yours and have a listen.

Could you record it? Surely if it's not that loud you wouldn't be able to record it? He might be surprised at how much you can hear.

BooDidIScareYou Tue 18-Nov-14 11:15:32

It's more the incessant thud thud thud of the bass rather than the actual music if that makes sense? It's a good idea to try and record it, thank you, I will give it a go. DP thinks he has a (insert name of appropriate stereo equipment that makes things bassy here) that's turned up, so whilst his volume might not be up that loud, it's the vibrations, which he might not see as being a problem. DP did suggest to him a few months ago if he turned (thing) down that would help but he sort of ignored the suggestion, so we have no idea if thats the case. What's weird and unsettling is that it can go literally months with nothing, then all of a sudden it can be every night for a week, then quiet for a week etc etc. Can't wait to move!

JubJubBirds Tue 18-Nov-14 11:22:15

You sound very reluctant to ask him over to listen for himself? Surely there's no harm in trying, even if he does claim the noise/bass isn't a problem in his opinion. At least you will have tried and you might be pleasantly surprised by him!

BooDidIScareYou Tue 18-Nov-14 11:32:35

Yup I know I'm being a bit of a scaredy cat! What happens is usually we have to bang the door very loudly several times (and sometimes go back into ours to find something hard to bang with!), upon which they eventually turn it down (presumably to work out if that noise they can hear is someone knocking the door), so by the time I speak to them it's all nice and quiet.

I've tried to explain on a couple of occasions that it's the bass and that we've left it a while before going round rather than getting pissed off immediately it happens, but they don't really seem interested. I might try inviting him round but I just have a strong suspicion it won't achieve anything other than more awkwardness!

TaliZorahVasNormandy Tue 18-Nov-14 11:35:00

If he insists its not that loud then he needs to turn the bass down, it vibrates and its more irritating than actually music.

We had this at mums, Dsis room is above the lounge, downstairs it sounds loud but when you get to her bedroom door, you can barely hear the telly.

getdownshep Tue 18-Nov-14 11:45:20

I had this with my neighbours son.
Our house had been empty for months so they just got used to having music on as loud and whenever they liked.
Dh kept going round, they apologised then the next time it was the same.
I got a second hand Bose stereo and just put some heavy bass reggae on whenever I heard it, they finally realised how much the bass came through the wall.
Why can't people just use bloody headphones selfish gitsangry

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