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To hate Santa?

(140 Posts)
SilverSilverSilver Mon 17-Nov-14 21:58:58

... or at least the idea.

DS voiced how magical it was that every child in the world got presents on Christmas Day.

I told him that didn't happen. I told him that millions of children don't even have clean water to drink, let alone presents. DS is not even 5 but I couldn't let him believe that. It is so disrespectful to those poor children.

Every year I watch this avalanche of horrendous consumerism and my heart breaks for the millions with nothing. Absolutely nothing. I told DS that Saint Nicholas was a man who helped poor children a long time ago and we remember him by giving presents to other people. I told him we need to remember people who can't buy presents and help them get the things they need.

I waited for his heart to break but all he said was "So Santa just means giving presents?" and we made a list of ways to help the children who don't have presents, or food, or clean water, or safe beds.

I may well have ruined his childhood but since vast populations of the world don't even celebrate Christmas, I think he will be alright...

attheendoftheday Mon 17-Nov-14 22:09:43

It's your child and your choice, but it isn't what I'd have done. Ruining his belief in santa hasn't fed any more children.

Not sure why you're posting if you are confident of your choice tbh.

cheesecakemom Mon 17-Nov-14 22:11:52

I think you did the right thing. YANBU

makeitabetterplace Mon 17-Nov-14 22:14:55

Maybe explain that it's up to everyone who has to give to people who don't and make it a family tradition to pack a shoe box for charity or choose a charity to give to etc

wheresthelight Mon 17-Nov-14 22:15:15

personally I think you were mean to burst his bubble so young!!

my dsd still believes and she is 9!

but he is your child so your choice but please tell him not to tell all the other kids or you are going great to be very unpopular at school

ChimesAndCarols Mon 17-Nov-14 22:16:03

I think that is a dreadful thing to do to a 4 year old. Surely it could have waited until he was at least able to understand the concepts YOU believe in and are indoctrinating into him?

Sirzy Mon 17-Nov-14 22:18:03

DS thinks that parents talk to Santa and send him money for presents and that's why some children get more than others. He also donates presents to send to "Santa" for children who won't get as much as him.

I think it's possible to keep the magic going whilst also making them appreciate. But it's every parents choice how they handle things just make sure that he knows not to spoil the belief for those who so believe.

SilverSilverSilver Mon 17-Nov-14 22:19:46

I'm not confident of my choice. I'm always open to being told I am wrong.

He still "believes" in the sense that he recognises the tradition and why giving is important. He was still making reindeer food this evening. He just knows it's all a bit of fun.

No, we probably haven't actually fed anybody, but we have set up donations to charities and he's gathering stuff to take to charity shops.

I do worry I am far too serious about life.

motherofmonster Mon 17-Nov-14 22:21:03

Think there were better ways you could have went about it tbh.

SilverSilverSilver Mon 17-Nov-14 22:22:14

I have also burst DD's bubble about Disneyfied romance as well.

SilverSilverSilver Mon 17-Nov-14 22:24:17

How do people explain why some children get nothing for Christmas?
Or is this just ignored?

RedToothBrush Mon 17-Nov-14 22:24:58

Bah Humbug.

NotSayingImBatman Mon 17-Nov-14 22:25:59

Jeeeeeesus! Way to pissed on the chips of a four year old less than six weeks before Christmas!

squoosh Mon 17-Nov-14 22:28:20

You sound like a right misery.

I accept that some parents choose not to participate in the Santa myth but to tell your 4 year old that that to believe in Santa is disrespectful to Third world children is unnecessary, and sounds like it was purely done so you could pat yourself on the back for your anti-consumerist stance.

motherofmonster Mon 17-Nov-14 22:30:34

You don't need to ignore it. Your child at this age doesn't need to be aware of all the bad things in the world .at 4 years old you should be letting him live im a safe and secure magical bubble. The real world is bad enough for adults to get there head around when they can understand it

ChimesAndCarols Mon 17-Nov-14 22:31:00

I was guilt tripped as a child - every meal was...."eat it all up - there are starving children in Africa". It's a wonder I didn't get a complex. In the end I walked away from the table with a........"Well send it to them in an envelope then." I was about 14 I think.

Suefla62 Mon 17-Nov-14 22:31:21

Good grief SilverSilverSilver you're a real bundle of fun aren't you. What a miserable life you must have. Because some children live in reduced circumstances you got to stamp out every bit of joy in your children's lives.

The crack about the Disney thing shows how mean spirited you are. Are you proud of yourself? You sound like you're gloating.

SilverSilverSilver Mon 17-Nov-14 22:31:24

I know, I know. But genuinely how do you justify such a cruel lie that every child is recognised? It is so creepy and ignorant.

Boomtownsurprise Mon 17-Nov-14 22:33:41

I don't justify I have more than a child in Africa. I don't intend to.

I just do what I can when I can.

I don't do things like this op. You think the rest of us are cheap?! This for me is cheap to.

NannyNim Mon 17-Nov-14 22:34:11

I was brought up believing Santa was a game everybody played as a Christmas tradition and part of the game meant you had to pretend it was all really real. It in no way ruined any of the magic and saved me from any heartbreak when I was older, thinking my parents had lied to me.

I think the OP has done pretty admirable thing and at 5 her LO is perfectly capable of understanding how fortunate he is. He now has some idea that life exists outside of a 10mile radius of his house and is being encouraged to think of others at a time of year when a lot of kids become very self obsessed and materialistic. You go OP!!

squoosh Mon 17-Nov-14 22:34:58

He's 4, not 5.

ChimesAndCarols Mon 17-Nov-14 22:35:39

You don't have to justify "every child is recognised" at all - especially to a child of 4. Your child will come to the conclusion that the world is a very unfair place soon enough - but let him come to that conclusion himself........without you banging on about it.

Coffeeinapapercup Mon 17-Nov-14 22:35:56

Wow harsh.

Just because bad things happen in life doesn't meant that magic cannot and should not also be allowed to exist. Your DC's happiness or enjoyment of something isn't the cause of other's misery.

I'm all for contributing voluntarily either through time or money.

Timeforabiscuit Mon 17-Nov-14 22:36:08

I think its fine to critique the consumerist side of Christmas, but it is also a time of great joy - are there parts that you do genuinely enjoy?

As to how to explain that some children have nothing - I say that the world is a very unequal place, that a good person tries to make it a better and fairer one in all sorts of different ways.

A sackcloth and ashes don't have the capacity to change the world IMO.

Suefla62 Mon 17-Nov-14 22:36:52

How do you justify the lie that every parent wants their children to be happy, comfortable and loved by their parents. You've just proved that yours aren't to prove a point that you're on a soapbox about.

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