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To ask how much you parents spend on your dc's at Xmas

(65 Posts)
Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:42:08

I feel £200 on a 22mo is a bit excessive? I don't think we would even spend that on dd...
By all means, put some aside for savings for dd but £200 on a tou kitchen? Don't they say kids get more expensive when they get older?
Concerned she's going to expect an iPad by the time she's 3 if they spend this on Xmas now.
I'd say £100 for Xmas is PLENTY.
Opinions?

Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:43:56

Thread title is meant to be YOUR* parents! Or grandparents!

glenthebattleostrich Mon 17-Nov-14 13:44:33

You can get an ace kitchen from IKEA for less than £80. Its a brilliant present, something that'll get played with for years to come.

I spend about £250 on dd, but that includes pan to, Christmas eve play and visit to Santa. She's an only child (not by my choice) so I do over compensate.

upduffedsecret Mon 17-Nov-14 13:44:34

I get a cheque for the boys' presents for about £20.
I'm then expected to find and buy for them on her behalf.

glenthebattleostrich Mon 17-Nov-14 13:45:15

Grandparents spend between £40 and £60

ghostyslovesheep Mon 17-Nov-14 13:45:34

anything betwee 50p and £65876587658 smile

NaiceNickname Mon 17-Nov-14 13:45:41

DH's mum gives all of her grandchildren £100, or buys £100 worth of presents, but then she only has 4. My mum has 14 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren and they all get anywhere between £30-50 on a present(s).

£200 may be excessive, but if they can afford it then there's no problem with them spoiling her for Christmas, is there? It's not like she will know the value and so will demand something equally as valuable next year.

Vitalstatistix Mon 17-Nov-14 13:46:12

they get either nothing, a fiver, a tenner or sometimes twenty quid depending on how skint they are at the time.

Generally I buy a present, wrap it and label it from my parents.

Tykeisagirl Mon 17-Nov-14 13:47:43

About £40, which feels right to me.

BackforGood Mon 17-Nov-14 13:47:43

Can you not gently explain to them that, much as you appreciate their generosity, at that age they are likely to prefer the box it comes in to anything else, so how would they feel about either buying her some Premium Bonds, ro setting up a savings account for her instead, and just buying something token to unwrap if they want to.
Believe me, they really appreciate the money that was saved when they were babies, once they get to 18.

That said, I suppose it does depend on family income / wealth - if £200 is small change to you all, then, what do I know.

Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:49:22

I recorded and ikea one, think mil has grand plans for some super duper churned kitchen though. It's dds birthday in feb, I don't know how we are going to get her something anywhere near as nice for Xmas and her birthday.
Perhaps I'm being selfish, worrying about being overshadowed by grandparents present but I also don't want my child to be a spoilt brat.
They are putting £100 in savings and £200 on present. Just seems a lot. Rather £200 in savings and a normal present.
She's an only child, can't imagine how we'd keep up if we had more!

Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:49:43

Recorded? Recommended *

GooseyLoosey Mon 17-Nov-14 13:49:56

I get them each a present from them for about �20-30 and then they spend another �20 or so (max) on odds and ends.

My 2 children are their only children but I have always made it clear that there is a limit how much should be spent on them at Christmas.

Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:53:07

She won't know the value this year, or next..no. But my nephews got incredibly spoilt by their grandparents and they are disappointed every year "is that it? I wanted more this year".
Worried it's £200 for a nearly 2 year old so surely by 5 it's going to be even more.
She will probably be wearing diamonds by 14 :L

SaucyJack Mon 17-Nov-14 13:53:21

My mum spends about £20 each. Sounds tight, but she's very poor.

Ex-MIL spends about £30 each. Usually a doll plus a jumper as she's obsessed with them getting cold.

PILs spend about a fiver, tho this year will be interesting as we now have DD3 (their bio GC).

200 sounds a weeny bit much for a kitchen, but I'd love to have generous grandparents on the scene.

wfrances Mon 17-Nov-14 13:55:32

£70 plus small gifts
£50 plus small gifts
children age 19, 17 ,16 , 10.

BorisBaby Mon 17-Nov-14 13:57:10

My FIL used to spend about £500 on our DD1, hated it at the time he used go to toys r us and fill the trolley up. Sadly he passed away at 55. I'm so glad he bought DD1 so many things because all our DC have played with the toys he bought

Artandco Mon 17-Nov-14 14:03:42

Prob £100-200 each. Only two grandchildren in family though

My parents - They usually get something well made to play with and something to wear. This year they have brought some extra brio accessories for them to share (about £100), and a ski coat each (£80 each).

Mil - buys an annual family membership somewhere ie local zoo/ national trust/ etc

Notso Mon 17-Nov-14 14:19:57

PIL spend about £30, my parents between £20 and £30 probably a bit less this year as my Dad is out of work.

wheresthelight Mon 17-Nov-14 14:22:33

as a parent I have spent approx £60 on each child and wouldn't expect anyone else to spend anything tbh but certainly not more than £20 if they chose to buy for the kids

BackforGood Mon 17-Nov-14 14:24:27

When I was getting 'tense' at how much the PiLs were spending on 'things' for my dc, I started directing them to either long term things they will really get value out of (for example a climbing frame and swing for the garden) or an 'Annual Pass' for somewhere near you you like to, or would like to go with your dc... a petting farm or a nice botanical garden or somewhere?

Caravanoflove Mon 17-Nov-14 14:26:20

£40 each from my dad, about £10-20 each from PIL. £20 at birthdays.

mumofboyo Mon 17-Nov-14 14:28:02

pil: not much at all. They're more into providing useful and practical things, such as food hampers, for us as a family and perhaps a token toy or book.
My dad will probably put £20 in their cards, which I will use to buy stocking fillers.
My mum saves all her clubcard vouchers throughout the year, doubles them up and uses them to buy clothes for all her grandkids (8 altogether).
We don't expect anyone to spend anything on our children and are extremely grateful if they do because money is very tight at the moment and we can't afford to buy in return.
Having said that though, yes it would annoy me if my mum for example went out and spent £100 on them; not because it'd be spoiling them so much as because I'd feel inadequate in comparison. As their mum, I feel it's my job to buy my dc the things they need and want more than anyone else.

Kab13 Mon 17-Nov-14 14:34:12

Mumofboyo; I do feel a tad inadequate to be honest. As it's dds birthday in feb I feel like Christmas should be a little present/stockings etc as her birthday is so close.
We can't afford £200 on Xmas present then whatever amount of money for her birthday.
I suggested putting money aside but they are doing that as well. I asked for educational toys and books and showed them some for £30 but mil wasn't interested. Wanted to get her something big.
Would LOVE an annual pass somewhere but mil doesn't want to do that either.
She should've had more kids.

mumofboyo Mon 17-Nov-14 14:43:08

The only thing I can suggest is to just accept their gifts as graciously as you can and try not to turn it into any kind of competition. Focus on educating your dc on the fact that some people get great joy out of giving large gifts etc but that it can't always be reciprocated and that they're lucky to be on the receiving end of such generosity - perhaps even encourage them to give items they don't want, need or use to charity, even if they're brand new, without feeling guilty because some children unfortunately don't receive any gifts at all? That way, your pil still get to give what they want but your dc learn the much more valuable lesson of being happy with what they have, lucky to be in such circumstances as these and an understanding of charity. Your oil might also see what happens to such ott gifts and perhaps tone it down a little?

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