AIBU to try to organise a small wedding in 7 weeks?

[honeybuffe]

Basically in 7 weeks the registry office has an opening and myself and dp have decided to try to get married on this day. The reason is we both have family in Australia and NZ (a sister each) who will be home for Xmas. As they are coming home we thought it would be great to try and organise a wedding for when they are both home as neither of us would feel comfortable asking them to fly home just for purpose of our wedding due to massive costs of flights, loss of holiday time from work etc.

My question is, is this really feckin possible? We are going to court in a week to see if we can get granted an exemption to marry in under 3 months(usual legal requirement). The lady I spoke to felt that in the circumstances ie family home not likely for another 4 years unless we specifically asked them which I just couldn't put them under that pressure, together 8 years 2 dc etc she felt certain we would get granted an exemption.

I'm thinking I will rent a dress, buy boys a nice outfit in Xmas sales, get v basic rings, sister could take photos as she has a good camera, friend could upload some music that we could play and go for lunch after. Max people is 40 at a guess. (2 large ish families and prob 4-6 v close since kids friends each).

All that said is it madness? Or between that and Santa will it be a disaster and we'd be better off waiting a couple of years. Ds are 6&4.

[Boomtownsurprise]

Yup perfectly possible. Just a bit of planning.

Weddings aren't hard. Get married. Have lunch. It's what you choose to put round that that will make it hard or easy tbh

[sunflower49]

I think It's doable, and it sounds as if you've already thought it through quite well.

It will be a faff midst all the xmas madness, but if you're organised and have the time, then fine.

If you want a small wedding anyway It's fine. The only thing I would worry about is if I would prefer a larger one and would prefer more time and might look back afterwards and think 'I wish I had have waited' . But, if you're sure this is what you want I think It's definitely doable.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

OOOH how exciting! Congratulations! No. You are not being unreasonable! You can do it!

Will you be able to budget for all this? Lunch for 40 might be quite expensive...where will you go? Nice pub? Restaurant? Where will you hire your frock?

I love a wedding and a fast one is best! More exciting.

[Pixa]

I had a small wedding (ten people including me and DH) and it was perfect for us.

Absolutely doable in seven weeks.

Many congratulations OP!

[whois]

Given the scope you have outlined that is totally possible, but I'd get on it ASAP.

[dinodiva]

If that's the way you want to do it, and you can have the sort of day that you want, then go for it. It's totally possible.

I planned my wedding in less than 4 months. As long as you're not a faffer and are reasonably good at making decisions then wedding organisation isn't that difficult. With 7 weeks of planning you might have to make some compromises. Get a proper photographer if you can afford it - due to the time of year it'll be easier to find one with availability.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

My friend had her friend take pics...that was in October last year and they were great. Really candid. Photographers cost a packet. Better to invest in decent food.

[fromagefamily]

You can do it!

I organised mine in just over a month. I got my dress from ebay (£63), super low key reception in a beautiful hotel with a sea view, afternoon cream teas for our wedding breakfast.

And then went out for fish and chips and a stroll along the seafront with my close family later in the evening (still in wedding dress and a pair of converse).

I think it helped that we're both fairly relaxed people and the most important thing to us was having our close family there and actually being married. Might be trickier if you have big ideas of your 'dream day' in your head.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

That sound lovely Fromage!

[Legohair]

Of course you can. The registry office slot is the only chancy bit, and you're sorted with that, assuming you can get the exemption (about which I know less than nothing.) All you need to do other than that is choose somewhere to have lunch afterwards, and find something you like to wear. In fact, it sounds lovely! When we got married, we only had our witnesses, and all we did other than booking the registry office was booking a table at a good restaurant for afterwards - I think the total 'organisation' took about half an hour.

[honeybuffe]

I'm not worried about not having a larger wedding at all, as it's definately not for me no matter how long I planned or how big the budget. (I typically love other peoples birthdays but hate my own as get uncomfortable being centre of attention, funny considering day to day I would never be described as quiet or shy!)
Don't think we could afford professional photographer having heard rates from friends, but then as long as there are some nice ones with dp, ds x2 and I, i think I would be happy, not too worried about the other types of shots, getting ready etc

My good friend has said if we get the go ahead she will make the cake. (Fantastic chef so no worries there)

There is a small local country hotel in our village, it does do weddings but have asked them for a price of a lunch type menu so hopefully it will be in (our tiny) budget.

There are dress rentals in Dublin, prob try get something silvery in colour rather than trying for white as prob easier to find and not too worried about colour as long as it looks nice.

It's nice to hear that people reckon it is doable(esp since it's my first foray into AIBU, prob scarier than trying to organise the wedding tbh!)

[DuchessDisaster]

I organised a full church wedding from abroad in 7 weeks. It was in Scotland, though, so just had to get the paperwork for the normal 15 days' notice.
As long as you have the paperwork sorted and somewhere to hold your celebration afterwards, the rest is pretty much ad lib.

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

You're inspiring me OP. DH and I have been torn about our wedding...we're caught between doing in his country in a year's time or fast in a registry office here so my family can come...then having a party thing in his country.

Your plan is appealing more and more! There's a nice country pub near here....will you be telling the pub it's a wedding do? Or just asking them for a non specific thing?

[honeybuffe]

Fromage that sounds lovely, exactly as I'd hope, relaxed for everyone involved.

[TheAlias]

I sounds perfect. Unless it's too late, tell the pub/restaurant it's a family celebration rather than a wedding - it seems to affect the price!

[honeybuffe]

clawhands I have told them it's a wedding but as it's a Monday in jan I also pointed out that they are likely to be dead quiet so am leaving it up to them to get back with a decent price which suits them and us. Didn't want to not say on off chance another bride in full gear would be there and feel having a second party would steal her thunder. Go for it I'm feeling a lot less intimidated at the idea after hearing others have done it, some in even less time!

[honeybuffe]

Cross post TheAlias. Was also thinking they would realise as some people will prob stay over and hoped for a reduction on room costs for any that wanted to if we said it was a wedding lunch

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Of course it's possible - the only challenging bits are sorting the register office and somewhere for a small celebration and it sounds like you've given careful thought to those already

Since you're not heavily into "look at me" your outfit should be easy too; personally I'd look on the net, though try not to source anything from abroad which might cause issues with postage, especially near Christmas

You'll probably find your wedding is a lot nicer precisely for avoiding the endless build-up which can sometimes get so stressful - anyway, do let us know how you're getting on; we all love a wedding on MN

[mawbroon]

Wow, sounds so similar to our wedding. All of my family were going to be in the same country for one day only and we had 5 weeks to organise it.

We just had immediate family (around 16 in total I think). Wedding in the morning, back to ours for champagne and wedding cake then out for lunch. I made the cake myself and bought an outfit that I could wear separately for other things. I organised taxis to ferry everyone around with an envelope going in each taxi with the destination addresses and the taxi fares. We all just took our own photos

I really enjoyed the day, much more so than I would have enjoyed a fancy do.

Go for it!

[Fresh01]

Def go for it. We arranged our wedding in 14 weeks. We were in Oz at the time and decided to combine it into a preplanned trip to Scotland.

We had a full traditional church wedding for 154. We just had to have it on a Friday to get hotel availability. Only negative on the day was it poured - no amount of time planning could have prevented that.

I got an off the shelf brides dress. You could try calling round some places and see what is available.

[honeybuffe]

Thanks puzzled I really do hope if we can do it that it turns out well for everyone not just us. My 2 closest friends who themselves had big weddings both said while they enjoyed it if they had to do it all again they'd do a much smaller version, although maybe they're just saying that!
mawbroon v similar! As both sisters fly on 8th jan with one only getting in Christmas Eve and Christmas, Stephens day, NYE and NY day in middle it left us with about 4 days to "pick" from, luckily registry office had 1 slot on one of those days! Any other day if next couple of years would require them to fly back and just couldn't put that pressure and expense on them.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Didn't want to not say on off chance another bride in full gear would be there and feel having a second party would steal her thunder

OP what a wonderful attitude - I'm almost getting misty eyed over it So many people stress how they'd feel having another bride on the premises, and here you are wanting to avoid stealing someone else's limelight

With such a kind heart I'm certain you'll have the very happiest of days - and you'll richly deserve it

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Just thinking ... if the wedding's before 6th January it's still officially Christmas, so you could save a packet on some modest decorations by buying them when the shops re-open; you could even pick the more obvious Christmas stuff off if you want, buy some silk flowers to match your outfit and use those instead

Also the cake, if you're having one ... you probably already know this, but M&S sell several different sizes of iced cakes without decorations. A couple of broad toning ribbons round the side, a few more matching silk flowers for the top and you're done!!

[honeybuffe]

Fingers crossed it's on the 5th so yes hotel will still be looking Christmassy, so should help on decor. To be fair I know a lot of brides wouldn't like a big party there on the same day as them and even though I won't be in a white dress I wouldn't want anyone to feel I'd undercut their day, I can't be sure no other eejit picked a feckin Monday in January to get hitched! plus there was one mercenary side in as much as also hoped it would get a reduction for any family that wanted to stay over to help on their costs, as I know myself how expensive going to weddings as a guest can sometimes be so I won't start polishing my halo just yet!
My friend is making the cake as her wedding gift for us, and she is fantastic so I know that will be gorgeous no matter what!

[honeybuffe]

Wow fresh01 154 guests and organised from Oz, if that can be done then mine has to be doable!
Agree about weather no planning can account for what you'll get on the day, I'm resigned to it being freezing, possibly snow and since it's January in Ireland most likely pouring rain, basically anything other than a hurricane or typhoon and I'll be grand!