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AIBU to be glad that DH is on anti-depressants?

(23 Posts)
DorisIsALittleBitPartial Mon 17-Nov-14 00:42:28

I always post late when there is no-one around, but I would really appreciate some thoughts about this. I hope there is someone awake!
DH is lovely, I love him to bits, but he has always been very hard-working - both at work and at home. He has always filled our weekends with stuff, to do, to the extent that weekends have been to me just as busy and stressful as work - I want to relax but he's always "got to do this, got to do that".
I've been on ADs for 3 years myself and recently DH has become more and more stressed, to the extent that he was having anxiety attacks about going to work. He does have a high pressured job with little support.
I've tried to support him as much as I can, but it's been hard as he is constantly on the go, it's just exhausting.
About 4 weeks ago he decided to go to the GP as he was worried he was burning out and heading for a heart attack. GP prescribed him ADs and did bloods, which turned out that he had some vitamin deficiencies. He's taking his ADs now and vitamins and feels so much better.
For me though, he is so much more laid back, and I love it! We're chilling out more together, having fun - and even having more sex! This weekend we've done next to nothing compared to what we used to do, but we've laughed and danced in the kitchen, slept in and had a lazy breakfast, watched a couple of movies, and yes, we've had some great sex too. I've had the best weekend for a long time.
Sorry this is turning into such a long post but AIBU to be happy that things are so good when it's taken ADs for this to happen? I don't want to go back to our busy, hectic life again but DH wants to stop taking them soon, and I don't want him to!

Deedeecupcake Mon 17-Nov-14 00:55:16

I literally could have written that post, DP has been on them for about 2 months now and I literally hadn't realised how stale out relationship had gotten until he was back to his old self. We have hardly any rows now, so much more smiling and laughter. Yy to more and better sex!! I feel like I have my life back and I'm not trying to make everything better any more smile enjoy it smile

ilovesooty Mon 17-Nov-14 00:55:33

YANBU at all. I hope he'll be guided by his GP regarding reducing the dose. Glad things have improved for you both.

SallyMcgally Mon 17-Nov-14 01:00:39

YANBU. Your weekend sounds brill. smile

DorisIsALittleBitPartial Mon 17-Nov-14 21:45:36

Thank you flowers
I feel bad saying I'm glad he's on drugs, but it is good to have him back smile

DorisIsALittleBitPartial Mon 17-Nov-14 21:46:32

And for you too Deedee flowers

specialsubject Mon 17-Nov-14 22:28:31

it is medication for a health problem. Would you feel the same if he was diabetic and had to take insulin? No difference.

here's to modern medicine and here's to improved health for both of you!


pointythings Mon 17-Nov-14 22:30:25

YANBU at all, my DH is on ADs as well - it took ma aaaaages to persuade him to seek help for his stress and depression. He's transformed.

DorisIsALittleBitPartial Mon 17-Nov-14 23:33:08

Special, thank you, I hadn't thought about it like that - which being on them myself I guess I should have!
He's gone back into over-drive tonight, feeling guilty about the lazy weekend I think. Ah well, I'll leave him to it and have another wine
Joking aside, it did take a lot to get him to admit how stressed he was, he had a kind of breakdown not long after I met him and I'm just so relieved that he recognised that he was heading the same way.

specialsubject Tue 18-Nov-14 10:37:19

I have a couple of friends on ADs. Without them I might not have my friends.

Excuse me, I'm going to shout:


thank you, I feel better now!

hard working people SHOULD have lazy weekends.

Cranfieldmc Tue 18-Nov-14 13:35:26

Yanbu. I felt the same when my husband went on them, it was great. He sounds exactly the same as yours, always needs to be achieving. We were recommended that he should stay on them for at least a year and then reduce the dose gradually. He has stayed lovely since coming off them, I couldn't go back to the dark old days again. Counselling was also recommended as to why he feels he needs to achieve so much, not sure how effective that has been but I think it might work if he engaged with it. Best of luck to you with the future. X

Wishtoremainunknown Tue 18-Nov-14 13:44:33

I don't know about glad - sounds odd when someone needs medication but to be happy there is medication that helps ? YANBU !

foreverdepressed Tue 18-Nov-14 14:52:45

How do you know it isn't the vitamins that are making him feel better and not the antidepressants?

KettleBelles Tue 18-Nov-14 14:56:50

More sex on AD's? Really? it works the other way for me.

LemonBreeland Tue 18-Nov-14 18:27:15

I wish it was my DH. Maybe I should show him this thread. DH has been depressed for a few years now and won't go to the Dr. He blames not having time due to working too mamt hours in his own business. The very thing that is making him depressed!

I would really like my dh back. sad

Me624 Tue 18-Nov-14 19:38:21

Yanbu! My DH has recently admitted that he is extremely stressed and having major anxiety and I finally managed to persuade him to go to the GP. He is very anti the idea of taking ads so the doctor has referred him to counselling first and we are waiting for his first appointment. I really feel he will not be suited to counselling though (he's always sneered at it in the past) and actually think medication would be better, if only from a placebo perspective. I just hope the counselling helps. The GP said he scored 21/21 for the anxiety test sad

Arlagirl Tue 18-Nov-14 19:40:18

H has been on them a year
He is less anxious but I have realised that being a miserable fucker is his personality.

We are divorcing grin

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall Tue 18-Nov-14 19:55:06

YANBU I wish me and DH could have our old happy life back, but its the other way round and I am the one who is stressed and anxious all the time. I did try to tell the Dr, but I was brushed off sad I dont think I said/did the right thing in my appointment.

ladylinda52 Tue 18-Nov-14 19:55:15

My DH has been on ADs for ten years now, albeit on a fairly low dose now. Best thing that ever happened. Sometimes wonder if he really needs them now, but certainly not prepared to find out by having him come off and then find out that he does!

DorisIsALittleBitPartial Tue 18-Nov-14 22:21:42

Biscuits, can you make another appointment? Or see a different GP? That's awful that you were brushed off, but that was one time - it doesn't have to be the only time thanks and wine

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall Wed 19-Nov-14 07:57:19

No there's no point. Im no good at explaining myself very good so wont get anywhere.

Anyway sorry for the thread hijack.

ohtheholidays Wed 19-Nov-14 08:08:47

Op it's not surprising your pleased your weekend sounds amazing.Do speak to your DH because 4 weeks on AD's really isn't long enough,they usually take a few weeks just to start making a difference.If he just stops taking them he could make himself feel awful.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall why don't you write down how you feel and give what you've wrote down to your DR?They will read it,lots of people that are suffering from depression find it really difficult to put into words how they're feeling.Writing it down can be a lot easier.

Notmeagain1 Wed 19-Nov-14 08:26:36

Congratulations on getting your husband back. ADs when prescribed/taken correctly can be wonderful.

Sorry but chamade made me snort.

Good luck op, hope things continue to improve.

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