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Lack of card or present from husband and kids

(100 Posts)
Fedupmuch Sun 16-Nov-14 23:22:15

Today was my 40th birthday. Husband failed to buy me a present or get me a card and also failed to organise getting the kids anything for me. His lack of effort on occasions has been a bug bare previously and he knows it bugs me. I appreciate he might not want to spend loads of money on something I might not like but am I unreasonable to think he could have organised cards, shoved a terry chocolate orange in the trolley when in the supermarket yesterday?. Ps I organised my own birthday party as I knew he wouldn't.

IAmAShitHotLawyer Sun 16-Nov-14 23:23:17

how old are your children

justabigdisco Sun 16-Nov-14 23:24:14

You will get people coming on and saying 'I can't believe an adult would get so wound up about a birthday, birthdays are for kids'.

Not me though, I love birthdays, I would be seriously pissed off in your shoes. Happy birthday to you OP thankswine

madsadbad Sun 16-Nov-14 23:24:21

Happy Birthday
Your not being unreasonable, if its important to you, a bit of thought does not have to cost

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 23:26:02

If I did that to DW sleeping on the sofa be blowed, I'd be exiled to the shed. YANBU.

Fedupmuch Sun 16-Nov-14 23:27:53

3 & 7

QTPie Sun 16-Nov-14 23:29:05

I would be very annoyed.

I actually think it is more important to celebrate EVERYONE's birthday once you have kids: kids should be able to enjoy celebrating other people's (including adults) "special days" and not just their own. To take joy in other people's happiness and to learn that making a fuss of loved ones is fun and nice. If that makes sense.

Sorry that you husband was so rubbish sad

SallyMcgally Sun 16-Nov-14 23:30:55

thanks happy birthday cake

Fedupmuch Sun 16-Nov-14 23:31:55

Tomorrow I'm going to get loads of people asking what he got me. Feel embarrassed to say nothing but why should I lie!. Going to depress me even more!

Longdistance Sun 16-Nov-14 23:32:29

Did he even wish you a Happy Birthday?

I'd be very angry it's a milestone birthday too. Just don't bother with his birthday next time.

wine flowers

TravelinColour Sun 16-Nov-14 23:32:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood Sun 16-Nov-14 23:34:25


Happy birthday to you and many happy returns cakebrewwinethanks

Having said that, I may have forgotten DH's birthday this year in its entirety until the next day….. blush. NOT my proudest moment.

riverboat1 Sun 16-Nov-14 23:37:08

If he made a fuss of you eg with special breakfast/organising singing of happy birthday/cake etc that would count for something in my book. Did he do anything like that?

But still a poor show since he KNOWS a card and present are important to you.

Margaritte Sun 16-Nov-14 23:37:44

Happy Birthday OP. cake flowers wine

Azquilith Sun 16-Nov-14 23:38:10

What a twat.

Happy Birthday flowerswine

JeanSeberg Sun 16-Nov-14 23:40:51

Well he's really told you what he thinks of you hasn't he and taught the kids you're not worth making a fuss of once a year.

Fedupmuch Sun 16-Nov-14 23:41:08

He did tell me before it to just go out and buy something: I had made it clear that I didn't want to just go out and buy something. Like I said I don't expect the Crown Jewels but a small thoughtful gesture would be nice.
He isn't bothered about celebrating his birthdays and when I tell him I'm not going to bother making effort for his he doesn't care.

PacificDogwood Sun 16-Nov-14 23:43:23

You may need to spell in out in words of one syllable in time for next year's birthday:
"I am expecting a cake and a card and a rendition of 'Happy Birthday".

Some people need that me.

TravelinColour Sun 16-Nov-14 23:44:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathshebaDarkstone Sun 16-Nov-14 23:46:17

I'd expect a card and a bar of chocolate. Surely he can manage that? shock

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 23:46:51

And yet others just need a hot poker ip their arse!

He's a git.

The very least he should do is help the children do something nice for you, make cards etc.

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 23:47:45

Apart from ignoring you and making you feel like crap, I just couldn't live with someone so joyless.

YouTheCat Sun 16-Nov-14 23:50:21

Sod that he isn't bothered about his birthday! He knows you want to celebrate yours and he should respect that.

Don't buy this twat anything ever again.

Rioux Sun 16-Nov-14 23:51:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

500Decibels Sun 16-Nov-14 23:52:58

It's horrible of him and it's even worse that he doesn't feel bad about not getting you anything.

Next year, or for any other occasion that's important to you, insist that he does it from the dcs and himself.

I've posted this before but I've a friend who's dh was like this and she got angry but let it slide. Now she gets really hurt when her dh and adult dc don't even bother marking any occasion for her.

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