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AIBU to think ex should not be discussing his online dating habits with our 10 year old over Sunday lunch

(14 Posts)
18yearstooold Sun 16-Nov-14 19:52:19

Dd had her typical EOW contact with her dad

Picks her up after school on Friday, drops her at his mums, leaves her there until Sunday lunch when he shows up to have lunch with dd and his parents, then he brings her home

Today, the topic of conversation around the lunch table was 'plenty of fish is rubbish and full of nutters so dad doesn't go on there anymore -he uses tinder, e harmony and another one instead. He's talking to 3 women right now'

OMG
OMG
OMG

Really???

Momagain1 Sun 16-Nov-14 22:09:28

Try not to make a big deal of it between her and you. Mild comments to the effect of that must have been boring to listen to, but did you at least enjoy the weekend with your grandparents? Depending on whether you think it would be problematic for her, you could give her polite language to block that conversation by pointing out she is not interested in hearing about dating services. Otherwise, tell her to just eat and think of her own interests if the adults are being boring.

You could confront him about not spending his weekend with her actually with her and you could mention that she doesn't need to know the details of his dating life. But in the long run, if she doesn't mind spending her weekend with his parents, then you might as well let that happen and let her observe his wankerish behaviour first hand. consider it part of the process of her figuring out on her own that he is a wanker. You can just sit back and watch. Say much to her at all, and you will be accused of 'turning her against him'. You needn't go to the effort of that really, he is doing well enough on his own. She may not yet see it as 'he would rather go out with strangers he met online than hang out with me', but she will.

18yearstooold Sun 16-Nov-14 22:30:19

The grandparent thing has been going on for 3 years now -she likes going so I let that one roll

He's had strings of girlfriends since we split, most have been introduced to one or both dds

He's never really shared how he found them though!

BramwellBrown Mon 17-Nov-14 00:25:58

YANBU, a 10 year old doesn't need to know about it or hear how women on plenty of fish are nutters and I doubt it was a particularly interesting conversation for her.

Rebecca2014 Mon 17-Nov-14 06:18:55

That wouldn't bother me, your daughter getting older and I am sure she is starting to see her dad not a great partner to women hence all different girlfriends she has met. And it sounds not a great dad to her.

Not like his talking about anything rude.

chrome100 Mon 17-Nov-14 07:28:45

I agree - I don't really see the problem.

diddl Mon 17-Nov-14 08:10:19

She'll be seeing him for what he is!

I don't think it's that much of a problem, I wouldn't have thought his parents were that interested either!

18yearstooold Mon 17-Nov-14 09:31:16

Ok I can accept if i'm being precious

Just think its sad that

A) he's talking about women like that

And

B) he sees her for a couple if hours a fortnight and that's all he's got to talk about

diddl Mon 17-Nov-14 09:43:58

I agree that it's sad.

Although was it a conversation just with your daughter or something that he threw out during lunch iyswim?

18yearstooold Mon 17-Nov-14 09:52:25

Ok I can accept if i'm being precious

Just think its sad that

A) he's talking about women like that

And

B) he sees her for a couple if hours a fortnight and that's all he's got to talk about

18yearstooold Mon 17-Nov-14 09:53:01

No idea why that randomly posted twice

WannaBe Mon 17-Nov-14 10:05:43

Well, plenty of women on mn talk about pof being full of nutters and that OD is full of men just after a shag. Admittedly most probably wouldn't impart that kind of thought to their children but the opinion is not one which necessarily reflects his opinion of women more that online dating is an experience which is not for the faint-hearted. grin

And e-harmony, match.com etc all advertise on television so the idea of online dating isn't a concept which would be alien to a ten year old.

I don't necessarily think it's wrong to talk about how you met your partner. My ds was ten when me and dp got together and he asked how we knew each other. Actually he outright asked if we'd met through online dating and I replied "God no you couldn't pay me to put my profile on an online dating site," at which point he said that daddy and his dp had met on online dating. blush so I did state that "well, obviously lots of people use it it's just not for me." which to be fair is true.

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange Mon 17-Nov-14 12:14:05

I think he is a knob for not spending time with her and the little he does to be talking about this but I don't have a problem with him talking to a 10year old about internet dating.
I'm sure if you are dating she would be helping you find a nice outfit telling you that you look pretty for the date and be excited to hear how it went.

18yearstooold Mon 17-Nov-14 15:41:29

There's no way I would tell my DC I was dating until I thought it was getting serious

Perhaps i'm just old fashioned

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