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About this woman from my NCT group?

(73 Posts)
Tealrhino Sun 16-Nov-14 19:44:35

I am seriously considering distancing myself from my NCT friends because of this woman.

Our babies are now 4 years old. Ever since we started attending NCT classes this woman has been the leader of the group; she is very attractive, with a seemingly glamorous lifestyle, and in addition is very outspoken and opinionated. She isn't a particularly nice person IMO, and has a way of forcing her opinions on you so that you don't dare to think anything else. However the other ladies from our group seem to think that she's great; they hang on each and every word that she says and go along with whatever she says. We all still meet up fairly regularly.

This woman is so hypocritical; basically we have to listen to her lecturing us about a particular subject and about her viewpoints on it, then when it suits her circumstances her views will take a complete turn and then we've all got to be lectured on the new viewpoint. To give an example, when we were all pregnant she lectured us all on how epidurals weren't necessary and how she didn't agree with them, and in all honesty made me feel that I'd be a total failure if I had one! However she then had her baby and had an epidural! We then had to listen to lots of talk about her extenuating circumstances and about how she really needed an epidural.

Then it was breastfeeding; I formula fed my DS from birth. She BF her DS for a few weeks and lectured us all. Her DS was around the 6 or 7 week mark when she stopped breastfeeding, and suddenly we were all getting lectured on formula feeding and told about how apparently formula isn't much different from breast feeding these days.

A recent thing when we did school applications this time last year was about OFSTED reports; her catchment school doesn't have a very good OFSTED report, but my local one does. When I mentioned which school we had applied for she went on for ages about how the OFSTED ratings do not matter and how she would far rather her child went to a school that he felt comfortable in, than worrying about all that academic stuff! Next thing she has decided to apply for a different school, which is an outstanding Ofsted rated school, and we haven't heard the end of it ever since! Her son got into the school and she is always talking about the school's rating and about how important it is to send your child to a good school.

Another thing that has annoyed me is she basically laid down the law to us all when we met up a few months ago and said lets all not brag about our DCs to each other or do FB posts about childrens' achievements anymore, and how it's best to keep our childrens' achievements to ourselves, as all children are different. Everyone nodded their heads like nodding dogs. However all this woman does is put braggy FB statuses up about her son, and how he can do this and that, and how she's so proud of him, and how at parents' evening last week she was told that he's the most advanced child in reception. Of course then she was fawned over by the rest of the ladies from our group.

It's getting to the stage where I really feel that I cannot have my viewpoints any longer, and this woman is really getting on my nerves. I like the rest of the women in the group but they are all quite easily led, and seem to really idolise this woman.

AIBU to stop meeting up with them all?

Woodenheart Sun 16-Nov-14 19:45:59


SpringHeeledJack Sun 16-Nov-14 19:46:36

a tenner says she's a mumsnetter


WiseKneeHair Sun 16-Nov-14 19:47:06

I'm not sure how you've ladted four years, to be honest.

Yes, for h them and gind some real friends.

NaiceNickname Sun 16-Nov-14 19:47:29

How have you lasted this long? YANBU.

WiseKneeHair Sun 16-Nov-14 19:47:58

Bollocks! Fat fingers on phone.
Ditch them and find some real friends.

Eva50 Sun 16-Nov-14 19:48:30

Time to look for some new friends.

Vitalstatistix Sun 16-Nov-14 19:49:36

not at all.

You also would not be unreasonable to not choose to obey her instructions.

You can have your viewpoints. You can express them. You can brag your arse off about your kid if you choose to.

You can also tell her to wind her neck in and remind her of her u-turns if you choose to.

But yes, it sounds a lot simpler to just walk away, if she intimidates you and you don't want to stand up to her. tbh, it's probably sensible. What do you have in common with her (or any of them)? Other than the fact you got impregnated at roughly the same time, resulting in giving birth at roughly the same time?

It just doesn't sound worth it, from your description.

Go and find people you like and have things in common with. You'll be much happier.

SaucyMare Sun 16-Nov-14 19:49:49

I would, she sounds a right opinionated prat.

Floggingmolly Sun 16-Nov-14 19:50:13

She sounds as thick as pig shit. Why do you all bow and scrape before her? confused

WorraLiberty Sun 16-Nov-14 19:50:52

YANBU, there's no law that says you have to meet up if you don't want to.

I take from your OP that you're not a particularly confident person? I mean not confident enough to avoid being repeatedly lectured to by her?

It sounds as though the others really don't mind her, but you obviously do so I would cut your losses.

It's not worth stressing yourself out over.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 16-Nov-14 19:50:52

She sounds very dull. Just see the others and stop inviting her.

WorraLiberty Sun 16-Nov-14 19:51:17

YANBU, there's no law that says you have to meet up if you don't want to.

I take from your OP that you're not a particularly confident person? I mean not confident enough to avoid being repeatedly lectured to by her?

It sounds as though the others really don't mind her, but you obviously do so I would cut your losses.

It's not worth stressing yourself out over.

SaucyMare Sun 16-Nov-14 19:51:44

I would wait for the next uturn point it out and never return. You might find the rest feel the same as well.

WorraLiberty Sun 16-Nov-14 19:51:49

Oh bollocking fuck wanks, sorry about the double post angry

LittleBairn Sun 16-Nov-14 19:51:53

Cut your loses you managed to get 4 years put of this group when the only thing you have in common is your delivery date of your kids.

pictish Sun 16-Nov-14 19:52:07

Yanbu...she sounds like a pain in the arse.

KERALA1 Sun 16-Nov-14 19:52:28

She does sound like comedy gold though op

Only1scoop Sun 16-Nov-14 19:53:30

Thanks for reminding me why I hate 'groups' she sounds like a total nausebox....if your dc are now 4 I think you've served your time confused

LittleBairn Sun 16-Nov-14 19:53:42

The lecturing makes her sound insecure she needs you all to agree to validate her life. A perfect looking life to those on the inside but inside she may feel a lot less perfect and happy.

misspoirot Sun 16-Nov-14 19:54:14

Haha I agree with spring, mumsnetter for sure.

She sounds like she has low self esteem and desperately needs everyone to agree with her choices.

SaucyMare Sun 16-Nov-14 19:54:25

KERB hope she has a good laugh after the meeting with someone else. I know someone like this, we all go silent listen to today fav lecture, then get on with other fun stuff smile

SinglePringle Sun 16-Nov-14 19:54:49

I don't think anyone is that unpleasant unless you don't like them. In other words, this woman is clearly ok by some others standards but you don't like her, therefore she might not be as you describe. It's ok not to like everyone we come into contact with - Christ knows I find some people totally unbearable whilst others think they are bloody marvellous - but the fact I don't like them means I never see much good about them.

LadyLuck10 Sun 16-Nov-14 19:54:53

You all seem too invested in each other's life in an unhealthy way. She can lay down the law all she wants but why do you have to follow what she says? Assuming everyone has their own mind, there must be something people do like about her. If you say the others are really nice, why are you the only one that feels this way.

LittleBairn Sun 16-Nov-14 19:54:57

On the outside but inside she my feel...

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