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To be so stupid that I don't know how to get my toddler to STAY IN BED!!!!!!

(51 Posts)
mameulah Sun 16-Nov-14 18:59:20

Just that.

Sorry if wrong section but am exhausted and weary as and exhausted.

IAmAShitHotLawyer Sun 16-Nov-14 19:01:13

What time was he up today, when did he last eat and how much time has he spent running round outside today

skylark2 Sun 16-Nov-14 19:03:57

What worked for us was me sitting on the top stair and silently putting him back in bed every time he opened his bedroom door for a couple of days. (This was when we put him in a bed instead of a cot, which he had learned to climb out of).

We didn't get the screaming hysterics that way which happened if he made it all the way downstairs.

Is he teething? That can make kids sleep badly.

mameulah Sun 16-Nov-14 19:05:01

He was up at seven , has had a substantial dinner and been swimming. He's not yet two , almost though, and is so tall needed a bed. It all went well for three weeks. Perfect bedtimes, then turned it into a game of Jack in the Box. This is the fifth night of it and it is driving us crazy.

NickiFury Sun 16-Nov-14 19:06:12

I used to say "Bed time means staying in Bed" over and over again no matter how many times they got up. Return immediately without engaging. They soon got the message that there was absolutely no point getting up.

SunshineOutdoors Sun 16-Nov-14 19:07:24

Yanbu it's bloody hard! I finally succeeded by being extremely consistent. As in silently returning her to her bed a million times and not giving up. Leave the room for a bit/swap with someone else if you can before you lose your rag. Have a big glass of wine waiting for you downstairs. I would lie down on the floor next to the bed until they are asleep at first.

My dd wanted me to be in the room with her so I told her that she had to stay in bed or I'd leave the room. She'd get out of bed, I'd leave the room, she'd cry, I'd come back in and put her back into bed. Repeat ad infinitum. But if you stick with whatever tactic you go for it will eventually get easier. Stay calm, quiet, boring and in control - however much you're being wound up - and toddler will eventually realise this game is boring and stop playing. Ime it does take a long time though so don't lose heart

wine

ArchangelGallic Sun 16-Nov-14 19:07:25

Do you have to keep putting him back?
So frustrating isn't it?

I've spent many an hour putting DD back into bed and have even resorted to putting a baby gate across her bedroom door.

Check out rapid return and stick at it I'm afraid. I can't think how it clicked with DD but she does go to bed fine now and usually stays there. We won't talk about all the things she does to avoid bedtime in the first place though!

mameulah Sun 16-Nov-14 19:25:01

His favourite part of the game is the lifting into bed bit . I am at a loss.

ChimesAndCarols Sun 16-Nov-14 19:27:46

Don't be at a loss - just keep doing it. You may have to do it 40 or 50 times, but you WILL get there in the end. Just don't say anything, engage with him, or give any interaction whatsoever.

Prepare to give at least 3 evenings over to this activity grin

SunshineOutdoors Sun 16-Nov-14 19:29:04

Do you have someone you can keep swapping with? Half an hour each?

QTPie Sun 16-Nov-14 19:39:46

Stair gate in the door, very limited toys in the bedroom, ensure the bedroom us totally childproof and "leave him to it"?

I think it is only natural for him to want to explore and develop some independence.

We took the side off of DS's cot when he was 2 years and 2 moths. For the first month he didn't realise he could get out if bed, then he realised. For a month or two he would spend up to an hour playing with the few toys in his room before getting into bed and falling asleep. What did I do? Ignore it. After a couple of months, the novelty wore off and he would just stay in bed, toss and turn and then go to sleep. If you don't make an issue of it, then it won't become a game.

When DS was 2 years 10 months, we left the stairgate open on the bedroom door (one still at the top of the stairs). I would sit in my room, for the first week or two he would creep along the hallway, so I threatened to close the stairgate if he didn't stay in his room, it worked. After two weeks, the novelty wore off and he stayed in his room.

DS is now almost 5: honestly bedtimes have never been an issue, because we have never made them an issue.

Purplepoodle Sun 16-Nov-14 19:45:02

I'm mean. All mine were in beds at early age due to ridiculous tallness from their father. I put a saftey gate over the child bedroom door and let them get on with it as their bedrooms were perfectly safe. Ds1 used to do Laos for about half an hour then go to bed, ds2 camped out at the gate for a while and usually fell asleep, ds3 never bothered (lazy)

Muchtoomuchtodo Sun 16-Nov-14 19:45:07

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. You could say, it's bedtime now, back to bed.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. You could say back to bed.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. You could say bed now.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. Say nothing

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. Say nothing.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. Say nothing.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. Say nothing.

He gets out, you (or your DP) put him back in. Say nothing.

I could go on, but I won't. You probably will have to confused

Good luck - it's worth it in the end.

FrackingHell Sun 16-Nov-14 20:01:11

honestly bedtimes have never been an issue, because we have never made them an issue grin grin grin got to love mumsnet

Good luck OP. We've always had an easy bedtimer (now 3 years old, been happy in his bed for more than a year) but in the last couple of weeks he's decided to chance his arm by coming downstairs after we've settled him. It's a bit bewildering and hugely frustrating, but we're doing rapid return and hoping for the best (it took 29 goes last night!).

mameulah Sun 16-Nov-14 20:12:16

I guess I was hoping there was a magic trick. He is asleep now. Thank you everyone.

And me too. zzzzzzzzzz

MillionToOneChances Sun 16-Nov-14 20:14:58

What Muchtoo said.

IdaClair Sun 16-Nov-14 20:17:52

Funny abou the height. We bought the cot bed due to its size, it said it would last until 10 years old.

It didn't, because we put a new baby in it, but it did just fine until age 6 at above average height.

Now i have a 2 yo in it and I am not taking the sides off because I would face what the OP is!

Sorry OP . Keep at it. Honestly. Breath in, breath out. You cphaven't done anything wrong. You are doing a great job. Be consistent and it will pass and become a funny story you can tell him when he rings you in 30 years complaining his kids won't stay in bed.

fortheloveofmike Sun 16-Nov-14 20:20:31

I remember the night of 68 times... my ds started out laughing then after 10 or so times he was crying then screaming then angry then eventually he gave up and whimpered a bit.. we had 4 nights of this and each night was slightly less and one night he just stayed in bed... Consistancy is key!! Its bloody hard though so make sure you have some support... my dh stayed downstairs whispering encouragement and saying "go on girl" and then making a cuppa once ds had finally collapsed asleep in a sweaty mess!!

DoYouSmellParsnips Sun 16-Nov-14 20:23:12

Duct tape works wonders.... grin

Thebodynowchillingsothere Sun 16-Nov-14 20:23:51

Muchto are you me?grin

Thebluedog Sun 16-Nov-14 20:26:30

I bought a GroClock - bloody brilliant. My dd is nearly 3 and got it straight away, even stays In bed and watches it until the sun shows. The first morning I had 3/4 hour up and down putting her back in bed but now it's great

20 quid on Amazon

Waltonswatcher Sun 16-Nov-14 20:29:36

Forget duck tape - leaves a sticky residue . Masking tapes easier to remove .

fortheloveofmike Sun 16-Nov-14 20:43:04

One thing that doesnt work as my dh found is to plead " for the love of god stay in bed, im tired mummy is tired and you NEED to go to sleep pleeeeease" Ds looked at him like " and I care because?" lol

Peepeeinthepotty Sun 16-Nov-14 21:02:35

This thread was made for me. I am at my wits end with my DD. She refuses to go to bed. She's nearly 2. She will gladly go to her room close the door and not let anyone in confused she waits in bed for the bottle. Then as soon as we leave its hysterics. She has been a great sleeper up until 4-5 weeks ago when this began. Also she can open doors and safety gates shock I had a handy man round this morning who turned the inside door handle round so she can't get out blush she can potter until midnight some nights IN THE DARK am I right to leave her just pottering? She does get bored. And I'm tired of being the bad mum when she decides to argue and scream it makes me feel guilty.

Thesimplethings Sun 16-Nov-14 21:12:12

This is why my just turned three year old is still in a cotbed with the sides up. Milk, teeth brushed and bed. No arguments.

Did the same with my four year old. Until he turned 3 then took the sides off, replaced with a bed guard. Never had a problem.

They both sleep 7pm-8am. Exactly why I'm dreading taking the sides off ds2 cotbed as I bet I will be fighting this battle confused

No toys in room, furniture securely attached to walls. No reachable lights. Stair gate on door which they can't open and leave them to it?

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