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To not want my husband to call me

(36 Posts)
Girl33 Sun 16-Nov-14 10:56:44

Idiot, moron, cretin or b*tch??
I am a stay at home mum and my confidence is low as it is. I ask him to stop but he thinks it's funny and a joke. Have I lost my sense of humour or is this hurtful?

Frusso Sun 16-Nov-14 10:57:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyLuck10 Sun 16-Nov-14 10:58:36

Gosh op this is absolutely not ok/funny at all. He is abusive. Do you have someone in rl to talk to?

formerbabe Sun 16-Nov-14 10:58:50

Your sense of humour is not the problem here...your husband is.

Ltb...seriously

flowers

KnackeredMuchly Sun 16-Nov-14 10:59:29

Do you recognise a few things from this picture?

timeoutshelter.org/assets/Uploads/circle-of-violence.jpg

Moln Sun 16-Nov-14 11:00:09

It's hurtful, and if you've asked him not to then it's vindictive.

grumpyoldgitagain Sun 16-Nov-14 11:01:35

It is hurtful and he is a twat

Get out it is abuse

Vinomcstephens Sun 16-Nov-14 11:01:59

Well then your husband is a twat. Those are horrible names to call anyone, let alone your wife. If he won't or can't see how vile he's being then if I was you, I'd be reassessing my options.

HazleNutt Sun 16-Nov-14 11:02:09

On what planet is this funny?

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Sun 16-Nov-14 11:02:32

No, not at all funny, the problem is all his, and of course it is hurtful for someone who has vowed to love you to say such things (calling anyone names like that is bad enough, but your own wife? Why would anyone do that?)

WeAllHaveWings Sun 16-Nov-14 11:03:20

yes it is hurtful, and not normal in a good (or even an average) relationship

Girl33 Sun 16-Nov-14 11:04:34

He is ok in other ways. Generous with money and good with our son. When I bring it up he says I'm always moody and never happy with anything.

WorraLiberty Sun 16-Nov-14 11:06:18

This is not normal at all.

Also, there's no need to be grateful that he's good with your son.

That is the least I would expect from any parent.

TheLittleOneSaidRollOver Sun 16-Nov-14 11:06:26

It does not matter if he thinks it is funny. You don't, so he must stop it.

Does he normally take your opinions, needs and wants seriously?

TheLittleOneSaidRollOver Sun 16-Nov-14 11:11:29

When I bring it up he says I'm always moody and never happy with anything.

Eh? Even if that is true, why would it make it OK to call you names?

In my house, if one of us is moody and unhappy, the other one makes a cup of tea and says "What's up, love?" maybe combined with a cuddle and we chat about the problem.

HazleNutt Sun 16-Nov-14 11:14:59

never happy? Well I would not be happy, being called a moron either.

Are you actually happy in this relationship? Being good with his son is not anything special, most parents are good with their children. And as you're married, in most marriages, the money is family money - there is no 'being generous'.

DustBunnyFarmer Sun 16-Nov-14 11:16:39

You think he's a good father, but think about what he's teaching your son by calling you these names. It is abusive and unpleasant.

MrsPiggie Sun 16-Nov-14 11:17:43

Your DH has a fucked up sense of humour. No, it's not funny. Yanbu.

ithoughtofitfirst Sun 16-Nov-14 11:36:05

Cheeky twat.

LumpySpacedPrincess Sun 16-Nov-14 11:43:11

Firstly, he isn't good with your son. Belittling and humiliating his sons mother makes him a very bad father. It doesn't matter what else he does he is Not A Good Dad.

He is verbally abusive and this is generally the start. He obviously thinks he is superior to you as he discounts your feelings so easily.

Now, what are you going to do about it? Continue to put up with it, or do something about it? I would explain in very clear terms that if he uses any of those words when he addresses you again then the relationship is over and he will need to leave the family home.

TheAlias Sun 16-Nov-14 12:01:22

"The very best thing a father can do for his child is to love their mother"

An old quote and AFAIK uncredited. It's not always possible for the love to stay but it is absolutely essential that the respect stays and is demonstrated IMO. So, no, he's not good at all with your son.

Fairenuff Sun 16-Nov-14 12:27:03

Every time he says it, just reply, 'Ok tiny penis' and see if he still thinks it's funny.

Purplepoodle Sun 16-Nov-14 13:12:42

Ah had this with mine. Pre dc I would have brushed it off but confidence plummeted. I sat my dh down and told him that it was making me feel terrible, that it was getting to the point that I was wondering whether I wanted to be in hot he marriage when he spoke like that. He was really shocked but at least it stopped him

Purplepoodle Sun 16-Nov-14 13:14:39

Love the 'tiny penis' reply

ScarletFever Sun 16-Nov-14 13:20:41

agreed - not funny or nice or anything like taht -
agreed - reply with needle-dick, or bug fucker or shithead or anything like that
if you want to stay politish, just say "what is it waste of space"

or completely ignore him

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