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To think that when your twins reach 7 years of age...

(8 Posts)
ouchLegohurts Sat 15-Nov-14 11:25:47 might get a full nights sleep most nights? After having both in spica casts after hip ops, teething, night terrors (one twin) for years, we were finally reaping the rewards and getting, gasp, 8 hours kip most nights when one twin has started crying almost EVERY night and expecting me to lie in with her until she goes back to sleep. I cant deal with broken sleep every night after almost 7 years! I know when it's a real nightmare as she is terrified, but real nightmares only occur every once and again. It's as if she wakes like everyone does but her default reaction is to whinge and cry until one of us goes into her. Now I'm getting really annoyed and have given her a lecture this morning on us needing our sleep and that she needs to stop this behaviour as I am getting wrecked and cranky. Told her that if it's a real nightmare I'll be in like a flash but the rest has to stop. She made a pinky promise but now I'm worried that I'm making her feel guilty for something she can't help? AAAAAARGH, fuzzy tired doubting brain!

DoJo Sat 15-Nov-14 12:00:44

Do you have a spare room so that you could have a bed in there set up and ready so you could both sleep in it if she wakes? It doesn't solve the problem of her waking in the first place, but it does cut down on the amount of time you spend awake in the night if you can just plonk yourselves down together and get back to sleep. I do this with my (admittedly much younger) son and the rule is into bed and to sleep - no messing around as it's a privilege for me to abandon my bed for him, so he only asks when he really 'needs' it and we both get more sleep that way.
Sounds awful though - it's much worse once you have got used to sleeping through the night to go back to being woken and you have my sympathy! flowers

SaucyJack Sat 15-Nov-14 12:09:02

In the nicest possible way...... you are the parent here. If you don't want to go in and sleep with her, then you need to stop doing it.

ouchLegohurts Sat 15-Nov-14 12:29:25

Thanks guys, I'm hoping that a few incentives will help her to think more rationally during the night. I actually never sleep in with her Saucyjack, just give her a hug for a few minutes and try to get out then. This started when she had a few real nightmares and was literally shaking with fear, but I think it's become a habit. I just cannot sleep when there's a child in the bed for some reason so the spare room idea definitely won't work. This happened about 2 years ago and we did a reward chart to get them out of the habit - a box of Smarties on a Saturday if they managed a week, and it worked! So back to something similar I reckon. I think my converastions about it today should work too...fingers crossed!

monkeymamma Sat 15-Nov-14 12:32:04

Sounds like you are doing the right thing, Ouch. No sleep is awful, and she is old enough to understand that parents are more fun when they're not shattered!! Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight :-)

18september Sat 15-Nov-14 12:38:35

Sounds like she needs something to help her self soothe? Would some quiet music or a special blanket you could agree on or one of those light up pillow pets help comfort her?

NoMarymary Sat 15-Nov-14 12:43:49

5 years of non sleeping here so you have my sympathy. Also the night terrors but they seem to have eased off lately.

Really it's just sleep training (horrible expression) that's needed. She needs to be able to soothe herself off again as night waking can just become a habit. Could she just read to herself for half an hour? Listen to an audio story? Have a drink of hot milk in a thermos? Not TV as that encourages night waking!

It will get better, or so I keep telling myself.

PurpleCrazyHorse Sat 15-Nov-14 14:07:34

DD is 5yo and she had a habit of crying in the night for no known reason. Leaving her to cry didn't work at all so I took the approach of zero eye contact and simply repeating the need to go back to bed. No cuddles, just tucked in, small kiss on the head and no conversation. I basically made it not fun and not getting attention from me. This worked for us as DD needs lots of attention and hugs and she was getting it at night by crying.

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