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To be angry with DH waking me up

(38 Posts)
catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:12:04

DH stays up a lot later than me.

I go to bed about 11pm (and would prefer to go earlier but he gets grumpy saying he 'wants to spend time with me' so I stay up later)

He goes to bed about 2am - 3am. He's a gamer.

This is fair enough, except he is always moaning he is tired in the mornings which annoys me, because to me if you are tired you go to bed earlier.

The thing that really annoys me, is when he does come to bed he makes NO attempt whatsoever to not wake me up.

His PC is in the loft extension directly above our bedroom. He thunders down the stairs (pissed generally).

He flings the bedroom door wide open, and as we have the landing light on for DS, light streams into the bedroom which wakes me up. He never shuts it either, so I have to tell him to (hissed in fury normally, which then makes him arsey in return)

He flings his clothes off and flops in to bed. He is then asleep before his head hits the pillow

AND he then proceeds to snore and make noises like a dying walrus for the rest of the night (not helped by the drinking)

He knows I am an incredibly light sleeper and I cannot get back to sleep once he has woken me up becuase of his snoring. Last night I was nudging him every 5 minutes to shutthefuckup (nudging may have got progressively harder as the night / morning wore on)

I'll be turning the spare room (currently a box room) into a spare bedroom soon as his DM is coming for Christmas. Once I've got a bed in there, I am thinking either that will become my room and we will have separate bedrooms OR I will say, if it's later than midnight he sleeps in there


gamerchick Sat 15-Nov-14 09:18:00

You need your own bedroom.. I have one and it's just the way I want it grin or knock one up for him when he has a late night.

Tell him from now on you'll be going to bed when you want seeing as he's an inconsiderate git when coming to bed you need more sleep before hand.

Sort that room out today.. everybody should have their own bedroom to escape too.

Ratracerunner Sat 15-Nov-14 09:20:08

You are not being unreasonable. Broken sleep is awful, it affects everything. He sounds totally selfish.

Get the spare room sorted out and move in there. It's not like you will be missing out on physical intimacy, so you might as well sleep apart.

My parents are both snorers and they've slept separately for 35 years. They've just celebrated their golden wedding so it obviously works for them!

I think more married people sleep apart than is realised, it just isn't discussed because others may judge the marriage is 'in trouble'.

Get yourself some lovely bedding, a nice lamp and some cosy stuff and leave him to it!

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:21:10

I always thought separate bedrooms was a bit sad, but I've now gone full circle and think it sounds like heaven and probably a marriage saver smile

I'm currently browsing bedroom furniture on the web. smile

Ratracerunner Sat 15-Nov-14 09:21:40

And don't worry about his feelings - he isn't worried about yours, is he?

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle Sat 15-Nov-14 09:22:03

Put a bed in the gaming room.

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:23:03

This morning, I couldn't give a monkeys toss about his feelings

I've been up with DS since 7am whilst he is snoring soundly in bed.

Strangely I've been encouraging DS to play with his noisiest toys and we've been having something of a sing-song

Fecker angry

HappyYoni Sat 15-Nov-14 09:26:54

YANBU. Separate bedrooms is seriously the key to a happy relationship in my opinion, just go for it!

Ratracerunner Sat 15-Nov-14 09:30:38

I have my own bedroom too. And it has a lock on it grin

dreamingbohemian Sat 15-Nov-14 09:38:43

Why on earth should YOU move into the box room when HE is being an asshole? Think about that for a minute. I'm sorry to hear things haven't really improved flowers

gamerchick Sat 15-Nov-14 09:39:07

Hoover the stairs. Very satisfying.

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:44:53

Ah they have improved a lot dreaming - honestly thanks

He's working 2 days a week, at college 2 days a week, looking after DS 1 day a week and pulling his weight with housework

If I can just crack the sleeping thing we'll be good

I'll take the room with the best bed ;)

dreamingbohemian Sat 15-Nov-14 09:53:44

Oh good, glad to hear it! How is he managing that and staying up so late and drinking? I still think he should take the box room as a 'consequence' though, if you bugger off then it's just a win for him isn't it.

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:55:28

He's managing it, but he's always moaning about how tired he is hmm. No shit DH!

It's not every night - maybe 2 or 3 a week, but it's still a PITA. I need sleep!

I'll give him the box room. Promise ;)

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Nov-14 09:58:23

Mind you, the box room would be further away from his thundering feet when he descends from the attic.......

SaucyJack Sat 15-Nov-14 10:03:34

I think we're living with the same bloke.

I find my inner peace by blasting out Heart FM first thing on a Saturday morning.

DamselNotInHerDress Sat 15-Nov-14 10:10:09

Put a bed in the teenagers room gaming room. And a mini fridge for his beers.
He gets grumpy with you going to bed when you want?
He sounds like a real keeper there OP. confused
Or basically, yanbu, he sounds like a child.

mawinter Sat 15-Nov-14 10:10:13

Oh, how I can relate. :/ hugs

OddBoots Sat 15-Nov-14 10:13:48

He has no right to be grumpy about you going to bed earlier than 11 if you want - you are tired because he is disturbing your sleep.

ChippingInAutumnLover Sat 15-Nov-14 10:14:44

Mattress in the loft.

Though frankly, I still think DH in another house is your best bet sad. He may be better, but he's still a selfish, inconsiderate, heavy drinking, plank. (Sorry). You put up with far too much x

OraProNobis Sat 15-Nov-14 10:21:17

Mine's not a gamer but a pissed late night telly watcher - and has been forever. I've had my own bedroom for ages and it's the only reason I haven't murdered him! There's always a but though - and mine is that my lovely bedroom is opposite the bathroom - his last port of call as he winds and stumbles his way to bed at 2am - where he proceeds to piss like a fucking horse with the light on and the door open angry. Yes, I could shut my door but it's a long complicated story about dogs!

EustaciaBenson Sat 15-Nov-14 10:24:16

We have seperate bedrooms, I sleep lightly, have health problems and my dh is a restless sleeper. He kicks constantly and has given me concussion but flining his arms around! He was a bit reluctant to do the seperate beds at first, because he thought it meant there was something wrong with the marriage, but honestly if id had to carry on sleeping in the same bed as him we'd be divorced by now!

Jbck Sat 15-Nov-14 10:41:13

Separate rooms is the reason DH has not been murdered!

Purplepoodle Sat 15-Nov-14 10:43:34

Futon bed in the loft. If it's all made up (and he is worse for ware) surely he will just fall onto that and sleep

Silvercatowner Sat 15-Nov-14 10:44:47

Another advocate for separate bedrooms here.

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