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to ask you how often you have sex?

(175 Posts)
FruitCakey Thu 13-Nov-14 13:55:37

DH and I go through phases.
We have been together for almost 9 years and married 5 years (tomorrow is our anniversary.) At times, sex can be most nights, other times it can be weeks without anything. 99% of the time, it's shit! blush

So I am going to be nosey and dig.
How many of you are satisfied with your sex life? How often is enough for you?

Please don't reply if you're not comfortable answering. smile

chasingtherainbow Thu 13-Nov-14 13:58:04

Can be months without. Other times several times a week. Together 7 years. It's not shit, ��but definitely better when we are doing it regularly.

ilovepowerhoop Thu 13-Nov-14 13:59:41

together 22 years, married 14 - tends to be once a week although sometimes drops to once in 2 weeks. (I have the lower libido)

ThinkIveBeenHacked Thu 13-Nov-14 14:00:39

We've been together eleven years. We can go a few weeks without (3/4) then dtd every other night in a week. Probably averages out over the year as once a fortnight. Had dc2 three weeks ago (we dtd the night before I went into labour which I think spurred me on!), and probably 4 times total during the pregnancy, but am ready to dtd again, we are just so shattered!

Hopefully soon!

MrsGolightly Thu 13-Nov-14 14:00:43

hmmm very seldom at the moment (got gyn problems) but after 16 years together, usually average once a week. It's fine for us - we both work very hard and have DC so accept that quality beats quantity.

saintsandpoets Thu 13-Nov-14 14:00:49

Daily. Married 4 years, together 10.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Nov-14 14:02:17

We go through phases too, but it is very occasionally as disaster, mostly good, and amazing much more often than its a disaster. Which we think is pretty good going with two small children neither of whom are as fond of their own beds as they should be!

Why is it shit? That is the issue rather than the frequency, surely?

ThatDamnedBitch Thu 13-Nov-14 14:02:33

Been together 20 years, probably an average of around once or twice a week. Would probably be more but sometimes I cba. blush

losthermind Thu 13-Nov-14 14:06:41

Its been 2 weeks since ive had sex with DP
Granted AF reared her ugly head so that didn't help
We have been together for 3 years, we normally have sex more than once a week
But sometimes not, he works long and hard so is normally knackered when he gets in
In an ideal world id be having sex every other day at least
We did have an intimate couple of hours on the couch with the quilt yesterday afternoon, with him asking for a cheeky blow job
"You can get notted if you think I'm giving you a blow job when I haven't had sex for nearly 2 weeks"
I gave him a kiss on the cheek, nicked the quilt and took it back upstairs then went to the shops grin
Left him with a puzzling look on his face.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Thu 13-Nov-14 14:07:42

Once a week or once a fortnight usually. Would both like it to be more but tend to be very tired during the week (both but mostly me) and then at the weekend there's going out/wine on the sofa which tends to kill the libido. It's always good when we DTD though.

DertieBertie Thu 13-Nov-14 14:10:11

DH and I have been together for about 2 1/2 years, married for 4 1/2 months. When we first got together, it was long distance, we saw each other every weekend/every other weekend and we would spend (literally!) about half the time we were together having sex. After we moved in together it became about 3-4 times a week.

I then went on the implant and my libido nosedived. We probably had sex about once a week to once every two weeks. Had it removed a few weeks ago, and it's creeping back up to once or twice a week, which I'm pretty happy with as I work an exhausting job with long hours. smile

bellybuttonfairy Thu 13-Nov-14 14:10:34

About once a week to two weeks. We'd both like more but difficult in getting any time/privacy. We have 3 small children and are both knackered. The children went to my mums for a night last week so we did it 3 times in one day. smile

dun1urkin Thu 13-Nov-14 14:11:43

Together 14 years, married 10, no DC (if this is relevant) Once a week, as a rule.
I would prefer twice a week, maybe three times, and this week we have DTD twice, plus he erm, lent a hand last night grin

Sn00p4d Thu 13-Nov-14 14:16:26

It's been 6 and a half months! I'm six and a half months pregnant. Not a coincidence, I've had a really shitty pregnancy with bleeds constantly and uti's, thrush, u name it, so I don't let him near me at the moment lol, poor wee mite.
Usually weekly but who knows what will happen when the baby comes, doesn't concern me though x

JamaicanMeCrazy Thu 13-Nov-14 14:20:23

It goes in cycles. At the moment it's not very often, every few weeks or so, but that is down to dh having an op on his back next week and being in pain and me having a major fibro flare up.

Usually I'd say a few times a week maybe? We are newly weds but not acting like it just now grin

CleaninQueen Thu 13-Nov-14 14:20:31

Been with dh 3 years and married for 1. Currently 14 weeks pregnant and have it about 4 x a week

DarylDixonsDarlin Thu 13-Nov-14 14:21:05

We aim for once a week, sometimes don't manage to get it on for 2 weeks, occasionally its been as much as 3-4 weeks then dh feels a bit 'unloved' hmm

It is always lovely when we do, I'm just not as bothered about it as he is!

And annoyingly the times I most fancy it, will be when we've had cross words about something and it feels a bit like id be condoning the thing he's done to annoy me, if we were to then have lovely sex. For this reason he thinks sometimes I'm holding out on it to punish him which genuinely isn't my intention, I just cant get my head around it - how to be intimate with someone you are cross with? DH doesn't find it a stumbling block, he would be happy to do it anytime, any circumstance!

For background - we have been together for 18 years, married for 3y, have children aged 8.5, nearly 6 and just turned 2.

grumbleina Thu 13-Nov-14 14:37:13

About every 3/4 months, we've been together for 8 years. It's not enough for me and it's a problem. Reading this has been a bit of an eye opener, I guess I was fooling myself that maybe this was semi normal, or that my expectations were too high.

DidoTheDodo Thu 13-Nov-14 14:39:54

Will only the people getting lots of sex comment on this thread?

minimommymary Thu 13-Nov-14 14:43:34

been together three years, have one baby of 5 months. never drops below twice weekly, though we will do something most nights. our sex is shit if i don't make the effort- though it's always him who instigates. i wonder how sexy you're feeling- perhaps a massage and candles after a bubble bath will get you both in the mood more. or try it out of the bedroom to make things more exciting smile

minimommymary Thu 13-Nov-14 14:45:46

just saw comment above mine. twice weekly is a lot to some but before baby we were twice a night! during pregnancy is was almost nonexistent! though i am a strong believer that sex is a key part of relationships!

babyiwantabump Thu 13-Nov-14 14:45:54

No enough at the minute . It's been far and few between since birth of DS 10 months ago.

Would like it to be at least 3 times a week , preferably more.

babyiwantabump Thu 13-Nov-14 14:47:00

Oh been together 8 years .

WreckTheHalls Thu 13-Nov-14 14:47:00

Together 14 years. We've only done it once this month.

We go through phases. Sometimes its most nights for a few weeks, other times only 2 or 3 times in a month.

DH would be happy with it every day. I used to have a high sex drive, but lately illness and emotional stress has kicked in and am not as interested. Try not to let it go longer than a couple of weeks, as it does seem to affect intimacy.

chasingtherainbow Thu 13-Nov-14 14:50:55

I think phases are normal.the ebbs and flow of life, tired. . Kids etc.

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