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AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

(316 Posts)
TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:14:23

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

squoosh Wed 12-Nov-14 11:18:05

I'm not surprised you feel as you do, it's very grinding to have to think of every single pound before spending it. Financial hardship really sucks the joy out of life.

Australia is a pretty expensive country these days though, make sure you do your financial homework before making the leap.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:20:27

Squoosh we know the country well and yes, parts of it are very expensive but this job would be very well paid...even factoring rent in...the areas which would work for us aren't as expensive as others. It's not Melbourne or Sydney...and we've done our homework.

winkywinkola Wed 12-Nov-14 11:22:11

Have you thought about childminding whilst your dcs are at school? Dog walking or sitting?

Ime, Australia is expensive. I visited Sydney after living in Tokyo and I was surprised how the costs were similar.

I know it's grim. It really is.

Where are you? In the south east? If so, would you consider moving to a cheaper part of the country?

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 12-Nov-14 11:22:29

Go to Australia, definitely. Your sister is either missing an empathy chip or is scared you'll go because she'll miss you.

squoosh Wed 12-Nov-14 11:22:55

In that case I'd say go for it. If you know your family will have a higher standard of living and you are both in agreement that the move would be a positive thing, start planning.

winkywinkola Wed 12-Nov-14 11:23:12

Sorry x post.

Then go for Australia! At the very least, the climate makes things easier to get out and about and enjoy life.

Go for it and get happiness.

SaucyJackOLantern Wed 12-Nov-14 11:23:44

YABU. The Tories are in now, and you need to switch your mindset accordingly for your own sake or you will drive yourself mad.

We all need to stop expecting that we are entitled to a certain standard of living "just" because we're in a G8 country in the 21st century.

If you want a nice house or days out or a reliable car you need to find a way to pay for them yourself cos no other fucker's going to pay for them for you.

It sucks, but that's the zeitgeist.

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 12-Nov-14 11:24:41

If you're sure then move to Australia. Good luck with it.

I'm one of those rare people who hated Australia and came back but most Brits seem to love it.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:24:49

Winky this flat is so tiny that it wouldn;t work and I don't think a lot of parents would particularly want their DC in it. The communal entrance makes it look like something from 1930s Germany.

There's nowhere TO move to...we couldn't get a private let as they all want guarantors or 6 months rent upfront.

We've looked at living costs extensively and it would be fine.

SavoyCabbage Wed 12-Nov-14 11:25:45

You have to pay for lots of things in Australia that you wouldn't in the UK.

BigglesFliesUndone Wed 12-Nov-14 11:26:13

Well go! I wish we were 10 years younger and had that opportunity. I was trying to explain to add this morning that she couldn't have school dinner every day because it is simply too expensive, that, yes mummy and daddy work very hard but while everything has become more expensive our wages have stayed still. That yes, wouldn't a build a bear party be lovely for her birthday but it's just not going to happen etc. We are 'lucky' in that we have a mortgage but it is interest only and unless something pretty major happens we will have to sell out lovely home in ten years time. It's a shitty horrible situation for a lot of people sad

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:26:19

Saucy I don't want my children growing up poor, in a council flat on a shit estate. I don't mind paying for things myself....but there;s no real way of earning enough money to do that. But in Oz there is.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:28:02

Savoy we'd have health insurance out there. My DD needs braces and we've looked into that and we could pay for them monthly apparently. And we'd be able to afford it too.

Biggles who said you were too old? I'm thinking if we don't do it now, before DD1 hits high school then it will be too late. Since they're both primary age there's nothing stopping us.

averythinline Wed 12-Nov-14 11:28:23

Have you checked your getting all benefits your entitled to? HB/Working and child tax credits? if the dc are at school how about before/after school club they are normally cheaper than other childcare...

I know how miserable it can be to be always counting the pennies & pounds sad

If you've done the research then maybe OZ is an idea- its worked for most of the people I know that have done it....both with and without kids but those best where both can work even if you don't whilst getting settled having the option to gives you flexibility.... best of luck

LaurieFairyCake Wed 12-Nov-14 11:28:48

With a full and a part time wage and 2 plus kids (tax credits) and a council flat something is going wrong with your finances.

are you claiming tax credits?
Does your dh charge the right price for jobs? Decorators earn £1200 a week where I live
Do you have debts?

If you're in a council flat I assume your rent is as cheap as it can possibly be - my SIL has a 2 bed flat for £423 a month in one of the most desirable areas of the country

There's definitely something 'wrong' as youve cheap(er) rent, a full and a part time salary, and at least 2 kids that attract tax credits.

Do you have a secret caviar habit? wink

SaucyJackOLantern Wed 12-Nov-14 11:29:35

None of us want that for our children, but if you cannot afford different then you need to suck it up- or move to somewhere you can afford a better life.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:30:30

thin there is no after school club at DC school. We have checked..we just miss the cut off for housing benefit.

Laurie DH doesn't earn much. He's a casual decorator...he certainly gets nothing like 1200 a week!

whois Wed 12-Nov-14 11:30:46

What other country do you think would do more for you? What have you and your husband done to try and improve your situation - education, qualifications?

Australia isn't the dream people make it out to be but if you have done the sums and you'll be better off then def go for it.

But go in with your eyes wide open - you'll be away from your friends and family and ypu probably won't be able to afford the air fare home very often.

Have you looked into housing costs? Food costs? Tax? Your visa status - can you work? Health insurance? Education system?

SingingSoftly Wed 12-Nov-14 11:31:04

Move to Aus. Yes things are expensive if you are just coming for a holiday, but if you are living and earning here (outside Melbourne and Sydney) you will have a better standard of living because wages are higher. That is my experience anyway.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:31:08

Saucy you're stating the obvious. I've SAID I'm probably moving.

MorrisZapp Wed 12-Nov-14 11:31:58

Nowt wrong with emigrating if it's what you want, but it seems wrong to me to blame 'this country' when it sounds like you live in the south east. There are loads of places in 'this country' where a couple both working could afford to rent more than a horrible tiny flat.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:32:30

Whois thanks but did you read the entire thread? Your response would indicate not....

Singing wages do seem to be a lot higher. We've both been to Oz more than once and know it well. We have friends and relations out there.

whois Wed 12-Nov-14 11:32:48

You put up your post about having done your homework while I was typing.

Sounds like you are sure you would have a better standard of living.

Might as well go for it as long as you're ok with being apart from family. Not got a lot to loose at the moment.

TiredOfItAllNow Wed 12-Nov-14 11:33:33

Morris no we live in Cheshire. Private rentals here in this area are no less than 600 per month and more like 750 for 3 bed....even 2 beds can go for that in the "right" street.

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