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The logic of route choice

(10 Posts)
BuilderMammy Tue 11-Nov-14 21:07:19

We commuted home tonight in the dark. There had been torrential rain all afternoon which was still falling, visibility was very bad and there was widespread flooding. DH was driving because my license was (mistakenly, I think) kept by the licensing people as part of my application for a new one. We were in enough time to get to the creche about 30 minutes before closing time.

At one point there was a choice between routes. Route 1 was a national road, two wide lanes with hard shoulder on both sides, a good road surface, straight and flat. There was a junction with traffic lights a couple of miles up which would have had us sitting in a tailback for maybe 6 or 7 minutes but aside from that it would have been constant motion all the way home.

Route 2 was maybe 8km of small country road, twisty, narrow, with potholes, lots of mud, drifts of wet leaves and flooding. This road would bypass the traffic lights and take us out onto the main road beyond them. On one part of that route last week (the narrower, windier part), DH and another driver clipped wing mirrors on a bend hard enough to shatter the glass.

I asked DH to take the national route, given the awful driving conditions and the incident last week with the wing mirror. I had already said last week that I was nervous of that route in winter conditions.

He took the second route, though he did turn of it halfway and miss the worst part of it. He is now angry with me for taking issue with it. He agrees that the first route would have been safer, but he thinks that since he was driving, he was entitled to make the decision (which is a fair point), and that my fear of that combination of route and weather conditions is excessive. He also thinks that I'm overreacting to the wing mirror incident, that it was 'unfortunate but could have happened anywhere, a cyclist could have shattered the glass brushing past'. He says that since nothing happened, I'm being completely over the top. He also thinks that it's better to take any route (or speed) that 'gets us off the road sooner' as he believes that that makes us less likely to be involved in an accident.

I think he's being unreasonable to have decided that getting ahead by a couple of minutes (when we weren't late) was more important than our safety, and that in very bad weather it's best to default to the safest route, even if it slows us down by a couple of minutes. And the 'getting off the road sooner' thing I can't even begin to deal with.

Go on, Mumsnet jury, sort us out.

thatstoast Tue 11-Nov-14 21:10:06

Whoever is driving makes the decisions.

youareallbonkers Tue 11-Nov-14 21:42:22

Why can't you drive because your licence is with the licence people?

Tobyjugg Tue 11-Nov-14 22:47:34

Driver decides. End of story. Sorry. However, it's by no means 100% that the main road would be the safer. Crashes in wet weather happen anywhere and on a road like that, not all drivers would slow down because of the weather conditions (stupid, I know but a fact). Presumably the traffic was both slower and lighter on the minor road.

Fairenuff Tue 11-Nov-14 22:50:36

Driver makes driving decisions. Passenger makes passenger decisions. So if you don't feel safe in the car with him, don't get into the car with him.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 11-Nov-14 22:51:01

Agree with driver decides. Nowt worse than a back seat whinger.

tywysogesgymraeg Tue 11-Nov-14 22:51:07

What bonkers said. Why can't you drive? You don't need to actually HAVE the licence to drive, as long as you have a licence.

Driver decides. Personally, I'd prefer to be moving than in a queue even if total time is the same.

RachelWatts Tue 11-Nov-14 22:54:42

If 'gets you off the road sooner' means driving at speeds which are not safe for the conditions then YANBU.

After all, 70mph will get you home quicker than 30mph, unless you skid on the wet surface and end up in a ditch...

MillyStar Tue 11-Nov-14 22:58:19

YANBU in my opinion and I'd be pissed off with a hd that did this!

Maybe why I'm best single!

BaffledSomeMore Tue 11-Nov-14 23:01:31

You aren't in the UK?

I'd probably have chosen the same route as your DH. You also only know the consequences of the choice he made. You could have gone the other way and had an incident too.

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