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to get annoyed when people tell me my ds is hungry?

(57 Posts)
ampersandand Tue 11-Nov-14 16:14:58

My DS is now 12 weeks and is difficult to settle to sleep when tired.

On occasions when we've been out and he's been moaning (not full on crying) some people have commented to me that he's hungry. It really gets my back up.

I generally time it so he's fed before we go out and hes a very good feeder. Lasts 2/3 hours before he's hungry again.

I went to the shop 5 minutes up the road in the late afternoon yesterday (after a feed) and he was moaning at the till, the lady said 'Oh he's hungry' I replied 'No he's not. He's tired and finds it hard to sleep hence why we're having a walk'.
I walked home annoyed.

Aibu to be getting annoyed at these people?!

MagicMojito Tue 11-Nov-14 16:18:39

No yanbu. It's annoying. Just like it's annoying people telling you that lo is cold/tired/hungr etc.

People are just annoying really. grin

Yackity Tue 11-Nov-14 16:25:03

YABU - People are just trying to be nice. Would you prefer if they said 'Oh, he's being a real whingy pants, isn't he?'!!!

It's their way of interacting with you, trying to show some empathy and understanding. A little smile with your reply and if these are locals and you see them regularly you'll soon have loads of people impressed with every little milestone of his, as they watch him grow up.

PrettyLittleMitty Tue 11-Nov-14 16:25:55

Yanbu. Mil is the worst for this, always telling me what my kids need. It pissed le off but I just bite my lip, pick your battles and all that.

lornathewizzard Tue 11-Nov-14 16:40:22

People are just trying to be nice. It is far nicer than just a disapproving look for example, which would annoy me.

thewavesofthesea Tue 11-Nov-14 16:57:07

I remember taking my DS to the doctors for his 8 week check, and he started crying. Doctor said "oh, hungry is he?" . Internally I said "no you stupid woman, he's tired. Don't you know anything?"

Then I realised that it was not obvious what was wrong to anyone but me, his mother who had learned to interpret his cries. grin It was then I realised just how in tune with him I was!

AesSedai Tue 11-Nov-14 17:14:35

I'd get used to if, if I were you, and just bat it away!

At 3 months old you've got a lot to come with your DS yet. If you stress about every little thing you will have a nervous breakdown by the time he is 1 year old !

HamishBamish Tue 11-Nov-14 17:42:37

YANBU, it's infuriating. I hated it when people would say 'you're hungry poor thing. Is your mother not feeding you?'. Made me want to twat them across the face tbh.

LadyLuck10 Tue 11-Nov-14 17:47:43

Yabu people are just trying to be nice. No need to get in a huff over it. Just say politely no he isn't thanks.

Angelto5 Tue 11-Nov-14 18:00:57

My ds was like this. Have a big feed go shopping & then start to whine in the shops.

One time an elderly man said "you should give that baby a dummy-I should know I'm a grandad of x many children"
To which I replied "well I'm a mom of 3 (at that time now have 5dc)& he's breastfed so I'm not giving him a dummy. I will pay for my shopping & then find somewhere to sit so I can feed him!"

Think my ds just didn't like shopping or going in his pram.hmm

Marmiteandjamislush Tue 11-Nov-14 18:10:13

Is it not just something people say? I can understand you might be over sensitive and exhausted with such a tiny one, but I've never been offended by anything like this. But then where we live help from others in our community is the norm so perhaps it means something else in other places

HelloItsMeFell Tue 11-Nov-14 18:14:28

I think it's just what people say. Thery are making harmelss small talk, not making a judgement on your parenting. It's a common assumption when a baby is fractious and crying to think he's hungry.

I wouldn't be so defensive or take it so personally, unless of course you are starting to have doubts about whether he is actually hungry or not.

Jolleigh Tue 11-Nov-14 18:16:52

They don't mean anything by it but bloody hell it's annoying. People are constantly telling me my DD's (very chubby and pretty much always warm) legs are cold. She can be chuckling and they'll still say it, to the point of people suggesting I take her home and change her outfit angry.

Krytes42 Tue 11-Nov-14 18:16:56

Meh, I usually just tell them that he just ate and is probably tired or cranky. If the comment had included something like "is mommy not feeding you enough?" then I would have been really annoyed, otherwise never given it much thought.

rosiegal Tue 11-Nov-14 19:12:59

YANBU I too hate unsolicited advice, particularly from mil. Her thing is 'wind' DS is 6 weeks and BF, rarely gets wind and usually gets it out mid feed. If he moans, smiles, murmers you name it its wind according to her even though I know it isnt. Sometimes he does a burp he must be fed up of her too well the look of I told you so on her face! I feel like slapping her

WerewolfBarMitzvah Tue 11-Nov-14 19:18:05

I would respond: "Shit, you have to feed them?!" then leg it.

ShatterResistant Tue 11-Nov-14 19:26:28

Usually older women, I find. My DD is very sucky and dribbly (mmmm!) and on a couple of occasions, elderly ladies have said (to him) "Why won't your mummy feed you? Isn't she mean?!" Very annoying, I totally hear you.

ShatterResistant Tue 11-Nov-14 19:26:50

DS, sorry

Thebodynowchillingsothere Tue 11-Nov-14 19:34:18

Werewolf grin

Oh dear op you need to develop the thick mummy skin. Yes it's annoying as fuck but so is most of the parenting advice you will ever get from fellow mummies, to so called professionals, to total strangers.

Personally I just have a silent prayer that the crying baby isn't mine and some be waking me at night or coming to my house.

Love my teens and grown ups.

Iggly Tue 11-Nov-14 19:38:00

Yabu and they might be right on occasion

They're just sating stuff to pass the time.

tobysmum77 Tue 11-Nov-14 19:40:01

yanbu fecking annoying. But get used to it, people always make daft comments about children and parenting

slithytove Tue 11-Nov-14 19:48:23

Yanbu, does my head in. If it's posed as a question then fine, but a statement will piss me right off.

willowisp Tue 11-Nov-14 19:50:03

YABU - perhaps he is hungry ?

I8toys Tue 11-Nov-14 19:52:34

Yanbu - there is always some old dear that has parented way better than you 50 years ago. Brush it off - it will get worse before it gets better. Wait till you get to competitive parenting then you will be pissed off.

EEVEElution Tue 11-Nov-14 19:52:35

I can see that being annoying, especially if you're a breastfeeding mum - it almost feels like a personal attack doesn't it? My pet hate is people telling me DD is cold, I wear her in a sling and people don't understand that she gets a lot or body heat from me. Having said that they're probably just trying to be helpful.

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